Too often tearful new moms are alone at home, sometimes self-conscious about their awkward first efforts at nursing. Some are feeling they aren't good mothers because they are having trouble and they perceive that instant success should come naturally, not realizing that the only way women have ever known how to nurse is by watching other females. Babies know instinctually how to suck and seek the nipple, but many details of the art of breastfeeding are learned from other mothers. It's one of the gifts mothers receive from the family elders, the keepers of the heritage.

But grandma has competition. No need for baby to depend on mothers milk. No reason why moms can't skip the learning curve hassles of breastfeeding when she's heard formula is just as good. Thank formula company's marketing tactics, and hospitals' willingness to support formula feeding by giving their patients gifts of free formula. This has produced at least a couple generations of bottle feeders, breaking the cycle of the continuous and precious handing down of breastfeeding knowledge from generation to generation. Some breast feeders think they can also bottle feed just to make sure baby's gets enough, not understanding that this interruption in the emptying of the breasts compromises future milk supply and for many it's extremely difficult to build up that supply later. Every grandma who's "been there, did that" knows this fact. This is not to mention nipple confusion and the irritation that cows milk protein creates in newly initiated intestines.

We are the only species that drinks the milk of another species. It took some fancy marketing and billions of dollars for formula makers to create the illusion that their artificial baby milk was the "next best thing to breastmilk". We have a situation in which bottle-feeding has become a more common sight than breastfeeding and mothers are actually self-conscious when publicly providing sustenance for their infants in the natural way. Little girls today expect dolls to come with bottles. Dads sometimes feel cheated if they can't give their baby a bottle. And Grandma's are cheated of their role as bringers of the art of breastfeeding.

Women of yesteryear didn't know why breastmilk was best; they simply nursed for the same reasons all mammals nurse their young and they learned from others. When a woman sits down and pulls her baby to her breast she carries on a tradition of many generations of mothers before her providing the perfect nourishment to ensure that her offspring survives. We have heard that natural childbirth is empowering; it teaches a woman that she can trust her body to grow a child within her and withstand the rigors of labor to bring that child into the world. Surely realizing her capability of supporting this new life with the milk of her blood and the warmth of her body is another form of empowerment. It may be the first time she imagines her mother feeding her in this way a generation prior. In this way emotional healing often occurs in strained mother/daughter relationships.

Where it was once enough that grandma demonstrated how to feed a baby, new moms are now confused by the contradicting advice of friends, books, and physicians who don't have faith in mothers, babies, or ancient history.

Husbands are stymied as to why their wives are struggling with something they thought came naturally. Fathers 50 years ago left it up to the womenfolk to teach each other while they went off to work, knowing their wives were learning from the pros.

But breastfeeding is making a comeback. Though free food, trinkets and trips given to hospitals and doctors by formula makers has been persuasive the trend is changing as protestors cite a shameful conflict of interest. It may take another couple of generations to repair the damage done and revert back to natural behavior in feeding by getting formula companies to step out from between mother and child and pediatricians to add breastfeeding to their training.

But as it stands now many of today's grandmothers don't have the knowledge or experience to help their daughters because they bottle-fed their own children during a time when it had become popular to give their own babies artificial baby's milk. In the 60's pediatricians, happy to have a calibrated method to see and chart how much babies were drinking, usually recommended either formula, basically a concoction of tropical oils, cows milk and a few vitamins and minerals required by the government. Now the World Health Organization recommends nursing for one year. More of today's mothers nurse than the last generation and with their help their daughters won't miss one of the most unforgettable and empowering experiences mothers enjoy.

Lactation consultants are very often necessary if a new mother is to get any help at all when her baby is placed in her arms for his first feedings. Doctors are usually untrained in lactation and depend on lactation consultants to advise them. Therefore lactation clinics are set up in or near most hospitals and mothers who go home with problems can bring the baby back in to get help, if they are able. Hospitals hire as few lactation consultants as they can get away with and those are often busy doing paperwork, arranging classes and even working on the labor and delivery floor. Many women never see a lactation consultant in the hospital and if they do it may be brief and they may only have time to send struggling mothers home with breastfeeding accessories, such as nipple shields and hope for the best. This situation is regrettable to lactation consultants as much as anyone as they have the training and the heart to do so much more.

Doctors are feeling pressure to come up with answers about a subject they know little about unless they are females who successfully nursed their own, and therefore too often resort to taking the more legally accountable route of recommending prescribed amounts of formula. Midwives need to be more informed than ever about breastfeeding if they want their clients to avoid suggestions of formula supplementation from all sides as soon as they encounter a potential problem

Mothers in larger cities now often pay for postpartum doula services to fill a void in their own ability to solve specific challenges with the techniques of breastfeeding. While doulas and lactation consultants can save the day, this really should be a time when mother and daughter come together in a new relationship with one another, forming a bond through the "handing down of knowledge" from mother to mother.