I feel like such a loser :(

[Rene67]

What is wrong with me? I wimped out of the Y yesterday because ds1 was still recovering from being sick (he is the last one, thank goodness), intending to go after the kids went to bed, but that did not happen - putting together cookie plates for the neighbors took longer than I thought.

Now this morning I have already eaten 600 calories, knowing that eggs and potatoes were not as good a choice as oatmeal or meusli with yogurt, and frying them anyway. Now I feel like crap. I glanced in the mirror this morning and then tried to find clothes that fit and look okay at the same time, the whole time thinking "What is the matter with me? I have done this to myself!" I can't even hold out for one freaking day!!!

Of course, we are leaving in a week for Ohio for Christmas, and the last time I saw most of these people was a year and half ago, when I weighed almost twenty pounds less and was in much better shape. I hate thinking about the "wow, she has put on weight" thoughts I know will be going through their heads. I keep telling myself that if I have a friend that puts on weight, it does not change how I feel about them at all, but somehow that is harder to believe when I am on the other end.

I just want to go in my room and cry.

[Macabe]

Rene, I have had similar thoughts, especially at Thanksgiving. I had 20 people over who I only see once a year, so I know they noticed that I gained like 30 lbs. I felt so uncomfortable.

I get into phases. Sometimes, eating healthy doesn't seem that hard--not easy, but doable. Then there's weeks that I just can't stop eating and I feel like I have a real "problem" with food. I can actually be sitting there eating something I shouldn't while at the same time saying "What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop?"

On top of that, none of my normal clothes fit. As we speak, I'm wearing maternity pants because my normal clothes are all too small on me.

I don't mean to make it all about me, just to let you know that you're not alone, and someone else is right there with you.

Have you considered doing a program like Weight Watchers or eDiets? Sometimes it helps to just have the guidelines.

[StElmosFire]

:hug:

First stop beating yourself up. What is that going to do right now besides making yourself feel even crappier.

Look in the mirror. Now go look, I will wait. "wait1"

Ok what did you see? Write down all the negative things you see because I know for a fact that's all you see. Now write down POSITIVE the truths next to those negative lies.

You are a beautiful, loving, mother of 4 gorgeous children that love you unconditionally. Mama, you need to stop believing those lies. Loser? I don't think so.

Take a deep breath and make a plan. If you cheat, who cares. The beauty of each day is just that, it's a new day, a new beginning. A fresh start. So you ate 600 calories. So for lunch have a bowl of soup or salad and eat a regular dinner. There 1600-1800 calories and you've ended your day beautifully.

Hang in there, we are here to support you!

[Rene67]

Thanks, guys, now I am crying for a different reason. :) McCabe, I periodically start with sparkpeople.com, where I had good success last summer, but it is easy to stop tracking there because it is a pain to figure out homemade food. Dh keeps bugging me to start it again, so I dutifully logged in my enormous breakfast.

I do have times when eating better is easier, this is just not one of those times. I guess the fact that it is easier for me to eat nothing sometimes than to not overeat just demonstrates my unhealthy relationshiop with food. I seem to either want to punish myself by withholding it or reward/console myself with it. It does help to know that others can relate.

Crystal, thank you, I needed to hear that today!

Lunch today was Burger King, since I was out delivering cookies and running errands with the kids, but I at least subbed a grilled chicken for my customary whopper with cheese, so I guess that is something.

On the bright side, by tonight most of these cookies will be out of here, which will be a big help. Finding the perfect sugar cookie recipe was not a totally good thing!

[steph76]

This is a hard time of year for many people for many different reasons.
For most of us on this board one of the reasons is food and exercise.
You are not alone.
one thing that is helping me is an article I read in WW.
Think about this season and now set an honest reasonable goal for yourself.
If your goal is to maintain, then concentrate on that.
If your goal is that a moderate gain is OK, then concentrate on that.
And if your goal is a loss, concentrate on that.
For most of us a maintenance plan or small gain plan is what is realistic.
This will allow you to enjoy the season without beating yourself up.