CaptHeather
10-19-2007, 12:31 PM
Pages: 1
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Explaining my loss...
#42456 - 10/28/05 04:27 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
...is difficult. An old friend called last night. We talked briefly and I was going to call her back tonight to update. She wants to “hear about all my babies.” She’s going to be confused as to why I have a 3 month old and not a one year old...I’ll have to tell her I terminated. I didn’t want to...the baby was dying...my life and health were at risk…
I had preelampsia at 18 weeks
the baby had fluid around his heart and brain
the baby was triploidy
my blood pressure was really high
I was really sick
I had to be monitored for cancer afterwards
It’s something called a partial molar pregnancy
the placenta was deformed and overgrown
triploidy – 3 sets of chromosomes, instead of 2 for every pair. The baby couldn’t survive.
Yes, it’s very, very rare.
I hope she understands. She’s very religious and never had children.
Post Extras:
just christina
Blonde tested, mother approved
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 3675
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42457 - 10/28/05 07:56 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I am so sorry for your loss.
Post Extras:
La Vaca
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 10857
Loc: On the couch Re: Explaining my loss...
#42458 - 10/30/05 01:16 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I'm so sorry for your loss & hope that you've found joy & hope for the future in your dd & ds. I also hope that your friend will understand, embrace & comfort you. Take care.
Post Extras:
Murphy's Law
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 3822
Loc: Red Sox Nation Re: Explaining my loss...
#42459 - 10/29/05 09:48 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Sorry for your loss. You don't have to justify your reasons to anyone though. You did what you felt was best and shouldn't be faulted for that. I hope your friend is supportive and understanding even though she might have chosen a different path. Be gentle with yourself.
Post Extras:
bebeisa
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 2175
Loc: sunny caribbean Re: Explaining my loss...
#42460 - 10/30/05 03:43 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I think you do not have to explain anything. Just tell her and I am sure she will understand. I once knew somebody who went through a molar pregnancy and it was serious stuff. She also had to be monitored for cancer for a year and even had to have a round of chemo. You did the right thing.
Post Extras:
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42461 - 10/31/05 05:19 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Thanks. I was having a rough day and just needed to talk. It'd been a while since I'd talked about it. The whole experience seemed to be so far in the past and then I was hit with it again. It always sounds so awful to say "I terminated." Anyway, the conversation when ok. She didn't comment either way on the termination per say, but was sympathetic. I think she was a little shocked at the whole description, and well, it is very shocking.
Post Extras:
Mrs. R
Amber Rose...in my heart forever
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 21035
Loc: Phila., Pa Re: Explaining my loss...
#42462 - 11/04/05 03:35 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I am sorry for your loss I had to termininate in my 18th week as well, my story is hauntingly familiar to yours.. I understand and wish only the best for you.
There is no greater sacrifice than for the love of our children and for what is best for them, sometimes these choices will bring great pain.
I admire your courage for choosing the self~less road
Post Extras:
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42463 - 11/04/05 04:38 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Thank-you Lisa. I appreciate your thoughts. You are right. I did have my dear sweet DS in mind. There was no way I was leaving him. Please feel free to PM me. I am sorry for your loss as well. (((hugs)))
Post Extras:
rain
Member
Reged: 03/27/05
Posts: 2289
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42464 - 12/11/05 07:37 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Thank you for sharing, your baby would not have survived outside of your womb, it was out of your control. I am so sorry for your loss.
Post Extras:
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42465 - 01/06/06 09:49 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I was just thinking...when I lost my baby. I separated myself from anyone who was pregnant or had a baby. I went away from breastfeeding.com for a long while. I had wanted so much to have a dream birth and to breastfeed that child and had been working towards it. I was so sad. But the thing is I am soooo lucky because then I got pregnant with DD. That was a dream pregnancy, a dream birth and breastfeeding is going so amazingly well.
Thanks to God, I am so lucky.
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Explaining my loss...
#42456 - 10/28/05 04:27 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
...is difficult. An old friend called last night. We talked briefly and I was going to call her back tonight to update. She wants to “hear about all my babies.” She’s going to be confused as to why I have a 3 month old and not a one year old...I’ll have to tell her I terminated. I didn’t want to...the baby was dying...my life and health were at risk…
I had preelampsia at 18 weeks
the baby had fluid around his heart and brain
the baby was triploidy
my blood pressure was really high
I was really sick
I had to be monitored for cancer afterwards
It’s something called a partial molar pregnancy
the placenta was deformed and overgrown
triploidy – 3 sets of chromosomes, instead of 2 for every pair. The baby couldn’t survive.
Yes, it’s very, very rare.
I hope she understands. She’s very religious and never had children.
Post Extras:
just christina
Blonde tested, mother approved
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 3675
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42457 - 10/28/05 07:56 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I am so sorry for your loss.
Post Extras:
La Vaca
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 10857
Loc: On the couch Re: Explaining my loss...
#42458 - 10/30/05 01:16 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I'm so sorry for your loss & hope that you've found joy & hope for the future in your dd & ds. I also hope that your friend will understand, embrace & comfort you. Take care.
Post Extras:
Murphy's Law
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 3822
Loc: Red Sox Nation Re: Explaining my loss...
#42459 - 10/29/05 09:48 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Sorry for your loss. You don't have to justify your reasons to anyone though. You did what you felt was best and shouldn't be faulted for that. I hope your friend is supportive and understanding even though she might have chosen a different path. Be gentle with yourself.
Post Extras:
bebeisa
Member
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 2175
Loc: sunny caribbean Re: Explaining my loss...
#42460 - 10/30/05 03:43 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I think you do not have to explain anything. Just tell her and I am sure she will understand. I once knew somebody who went through a molar pregnancy and it was serious stuff. She also had to be monitored for cancer for a year and even had to have a round of chemo. You did the right thing.
Post Extras:
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42461 - 10/31/05 05:19 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Thanks. I was having a rough day and just needed to talk. It'd been a while since I'd talked about it. The whole experience seemed to be so far in the past and then I was hit with it again. It always sounds so awful to say "I terminated." Anyway, the conversation when ok. She didn't comment either way on the termination per say, but was sympathetic. I think she was a little shocked at the whole description, and well, it is very shocking.
Post Extras:
Mrs. R
Amber Rose...in my heart forever
Reged: 03/17/05
Posts: 21035
Loc: Phila., Pa Re: Explaining my loss...
#42462 - 11/04/05 03:35 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I am sorry for your loss I had to termininate in my 18th week as well, my story is hauntingly familiar to yours.. I understand and wish only the best for you.
There is no greater sacrifice than for the love of our children and for what is best for them, sometimes these choices will bring great pain.
I admire your courage for choosing the self~less road
Post Extras:
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42463 - 11/04/05 04:38 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Thank-you Lisa. I appreciate your thoughts. You are right. I did have my dear sweet DS in mind. There was no way I was leaving him. Please feel free to PM me. I am sorry for your loss as well. (((hugs)))
Post Extras:
rain
Member
Reged: 03/27/05
Posts: 2289
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42464 - 12/11/05 07:37 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
Thank you for sharing, your baby would not have survived outside of your womb, it was out of your control. I am so sorry for your loss.
Post Extras:
Mer
Reged: 05/24/05
Posts: 1034
Re: Explaining my loss...
#42465 - 01/06/06 09:49 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply
I was just thinking...when I lost my baby. I separated myself from anyone who was pregnant or had a baby. I went away from breastfeeding.com for a long while. I had wanted so much to have a dream birth and to breastfeed that child and had been working towards it. I was so sad. But the thing is I am soooo lucky because then I got pregnant with DD. That was a dream pregnancy, a dream birth and breastfeeding is going so amazingly well.
Thanks to God, I am so lucky.