My child is 4 and still demands her "oobies"

[juliamary]

I wanted some advice. I have a 4 year old daughter, whom I waited forever to get, and she has nursed as a baby and because I didn't make enough milk, she also was bottle fed, but I nursed her whenever and wherever she wanted. She is 4 years old, and in pre-k, and still in the morning, at night, when she is tired or cranky, wants "oobies". I give to her, and personally it dosen't bother me, but people like my in-laws, my husband, and my older kids make comments, saying "thats gross" "shes too old", and I have 5 children altogether. She is my youngest, and is not ready to give it up. Do I force the issue? or will she just quit when she is ready. I don't say anything to make her feel bad. I just want some advice and input. Is there anyone else out there who also breastfeeds like me?? Or is there something wrong with this? Help.

[kohlby]

[QUOTE=juliamary;193953]I give to her, and personally it dosen't bother me,[QUOTE]
That quote stood out to me. If you're comfortable with it, then there's not a problem with it. I did cut my 4.5 year old down to just when he gets hurt since I wanted him to nurse less. I haven't cut my 21 month old down yet since it's not a problem for either of us. No one had a problem with me nursing DS at 4. They didn't know and didn't think to ask. Even if someone had, it's not about them.

[dulce_de_leche]

You sound like a wonderful, loving mom who is meeting her daughter's needs. Please check out www.kathydettwyler.org. She has a PhD in anthropology and has done extensive research into natural weaning. It always makes me feel better to have science on my side. ;) Also, the American Academy of Pediatrics deliberately set no upper limit on nursing, but leave it up to the mother and child, noting that there is nothing wrong with nursing into the third year and beyond. Finally, www.kellymom.com has some great links on extended nursing/nursing the older baby.

Your dd sounds like a very blessed girl! :)

[Kimberly]

My son self-weaned at age 6. He only nursed for literally a minute or less for the last year or so, but it was important to me to allow him to self-weaned, which he did.

I think you're doing a great job.

[mrspineau]

Well, this post was interesting to me. I am still pregnant with my first child, and I am planning to breastfeed. I have read a lot and talked a lot with a lot of mothers and for me personally I can't imagine breastfeeding a toddler. However, that is my own discomfort (and I dont even know for sure if I'll feel that way because it hasnt happened yet! :)) and from what I have researched it can be quite beneficial to nurse until the child is ready to stop. So i think that if you are okay with it and it is enjoyable for your child then why stop? there are always going to be people with opinions but they arent always right. do what feels right for you and your child.

[rochel]

Good for her. It is perfectly normal, healthy and advisable to breastfeed into early chldhood. She sounds like a darling little girl.

[rochel]

Extended breastfeeding is healthy and no, you aren't the only one.

[Amykins]

Hi there! My daughter is nearly 3 and still nurses morning, before nap, and bedtime . . . and sometimes more often. Her "nursies" are very important to her (she kisses them good morning). She is my third and last child and I plan to let her wean on her own schedule. Her older brothers both weaned when I got pregnant with their siblings, but since I don't plan on getting pregnant again, I could be nursing for a long time yet.

It sounds to me like you are doing just fine. I understand what you're saying about other people's disapproval. My mother and best friend are encouraging me to wean my daughter. But you know what -- she is my daughter, not theirs, and I'm doing what I think is best. You are, too. Hang in there.

[Stephanie]

If you are both fine with it, don't worry a bit.

[Firemom]

You feel fine with it, your child feels fine with, the rest of them have the problem.

I dealt with this same issue with family and friends. I am glad my dd nursed for close to 6 years.

[kasumisniper]

:clap:I wish I had such luck with my 5 month old! so,GOOD JOB!

[debra]

My sister nursed her 2 kids until they were 3 and 4. She would nurse them at these ages in public which made alot of us uncomfortable. They were much bigger than toddlers getting their milk. This would be after they had their candy or mcdonalds. The other problem was the children became so attatched to their mom that no one else could enjoy them. Now she is expecting again and that is the only reason she stopped breastfeeding her 3 year old. I think that when the child can "ask" for the milk they are too old.

[MommytoSarah]

I was breastfed until I was about 4 years old. I weaned when my Mom got pregnant with my brother because her milk changed. I only nurse before bed and if I got hurt. I wasn't nursing all the time nor was I pulling or asking to nurse while we were out in public. It was more for being close and comforted. The same was for my brother as she also nursed him until he was 4. I think nursing is what works personally for mom and child. If it doesn't bother you then I think you are doing a wonderful thing. You will know when you are both ready. You are a wonderful mom!

[Elffriend]

I nursed one child to age 4.5 and the other until almost 6. They will stop on their own when they are ready. The only thing you have to do is to tell your other family members that they need to stop making negative comments about nursing around you and your child. Tell them it won't make you stop, it's just making you angry and is going to make your DD feel bad about something that is an important part of her life.

[SnackRack]

My sister nursed her 2 kids until they were 3 and 4. She would nurse them at these ages in public which made alot of us uncomfortable. They were much bigger than toddlers getting their milk. This would be after they had their candy or mcdonalds. The other problem was the children became so attatched to their mom that no one else could enjoy them. Now she is expecting again and that is the only reason she stopped breastfeeding her 3 year old. I think that when the child can "ask" for the milk they are too old.


They "ask" for it from birth. The just don't have words until they are older My DD will be 5 in March and she still nurses. I'm ready for her to be done, but she's not. So I'm trying to let her self-wean. I don't nurse her in public but do in front of my immediate family. No one has ever said "gross" to me or her.

[pattyk]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! My dd is 5 years 2 months and still nursing. I strongly believe in child led weaning. I can tell just in the last few months that my dd is in the process of weaning. She only nurses twice a day sometimes once a day and only for less than a minute.

But as far as family and friends, I am fortunate that my husband has become so used to nursing that it doesn't bother him at all. I actually have been nursing for 7.5 years straight. My ds nursed until he was 2.5 years old and literally quit nursing on the day I brought my dd home from the hospital.

Another poster mentioned something about letting your family know that their negative comments bother you. I did just that and their comments ended. I let them know that it didn't matter to me their opinion, I tried to explain to them it was a "normal" thing we were doing and that I would appreciate any negative comments be kept to themselves. It really works.

Also, I just posted on another website how once my daughter turned 4, I started following a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. That also has helped.

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the world who has nursed a child this long but this website has made me realize that at least three or four other moms do it too!!!!!

[KaraJ]

If your okay with her still nursing, then go ahead and do it. I myself would feel odd to nurse more than two years, I don't want my child asking for "boobies," but that's just me. If at some point you feel that you are tired of nursing, then start weaning.

[HAPPYMOMMY]

Well, It Is My Turn To Boost You On. My Daughter Is Few Months Shy Of Two Years Old... It Was Funny To Read Others Replies. She To Loves Her --as You Guys Call It Oobies..--- We Use Another For Public Use So No One Knows..(just So Happened She Picked It ((our Key Word)) And I Encourged The Name So No One Would Know What She Is Asking For...) She Wakes And Just Smiles And Hugs Her Oobies And Is All Happy To Be Awake And With Her Oobies... I Think That It Is Our Choice And Our Babies Benifits To A Happy Life.. Once These Years Are Over There Gone For Good... I Don't Know About You But, My Bf-ing Days Are The Best Days Of Our Lives (mine And Hers!) At Least So Far....

[LittlebitsMommy]

Let me just start by saying you are a awesome mommy. Your DD is so lucky to have such a caring and loving mommy. You are doing nothing wrong. You are letting your DD have something that is very special and important to her. No one else really understands what either of you are feeling.

As long at it works for you and her and neither of you are uncomfortable then thats all that matters. Its th eothe rpeople that have the problem.


You say you have older children. Where they BF? Not that this matters I was just wondering.

Littlebit was the first of my 3 for me to nurse. My older children have always been very supportive. So I can't imagine what you are going through there.

I have always said that I would allow Bit to wean when he was ready and I am still standing behind that. Nursing has always been something that is very beautiful in our house. It has never been talked about in a negitive way.

Just follow your heart and do what works for you and DD.

[steelady]

Well, this post was interesting to me. I am still pregnant with my first child, and I am planning to breastfeed. I have read a lot and talked a lot with a lot of mothers and for me personally I can't imagine breastfeeding a toddler. However, that is my own discomfort (and I dont even know for sure if I'll feel that way because it hasnt happened yet! :)) and from what I have researched it can be quite beneficial to nurse until the child is ready to stop. So i think that if you are okay with it and it is enjoyable for your child then why stop? there are always going to be people with opinions but they arent always right. do what feels right for you and your child.


I felt this (bold) way before and during my pregnancy.

At 1 year, though, it just didn't seem to be "right" to wean.

At 18 months, I stopped pumping with the thought that NOW it was time to wean.

At 24 months, I didn't want to stress him out too much, he has autism and change isn't easy for him., so we continued.

At 30 months, we weaned for about 6 weeks until he had surgery (tonsils/adenoids).

At 33 months, we had our final session. Didn't know it was the last one at the time, but there you go.

At 61 months, he will still ask to cuddle his boo-boos when he hasn't seen me for a while or he is really stressed out.