Aggravated

[aprilshowerz]

I'm a little aggravated because some people don't give slack to mother's wanting or needing to ween. Every family is different and has different circumstances.

I am a single working mother who nursed her child for 13 months. That is a decent amount of time. I was ready to ween for my own reasons and i also sensed that my son was too. I tried it for a while and eventually came down to one feeding before bed. But my son continued to want to nurse through the night. We both needed to sleep more than two hours at a time! And when i would nurse, he would wiggle around and un attach then re-attach as if he really wasnt interested. As things continued I got more frustrated. Assesing my situation i decided to cut off the last feeding. I called it cold turkey because i also didnt allow him to nurse at night anymore. For the first 3 days i became engorged and had to ice my breasts because they were sore. After that they were fine and about a week or two after i stopped, my milk dried up.

My son is doing much better now that i no longer nurse him. He sleeps through the night, making him less cranky during the day. And he seems to be really happy. Actually it wasnt really hard on him to give up the breast. At first he objected but after the first day and a half he started to accept the inevitable. As long as he didnt smell my milk he was ok. I'm a lot happier also now that i have finished breastfeeding. That and my son being happy is why i decided that quitting breastfeeding was the best thing for my family.
I don't view what i did as harsh.
So give people a break! you dont know their situations! Don't Frown or dissaprove of people, lend them support![/FONT]

[Jacksmommy]

I'm glad it worked out well for you and your baby. I don't quite understand why you are so defensive/angry/aggravated with those of us who advised a gradual weaning process. You asked for advice. We advised you.

[Jacksmommy]

Oh I see - it wasn't you, sorry. You are aggravated at the advice we gave to someone else. Did someone judge you? I missed where that may have happened.

[aprilshowerz]

i didnt mean to sound quite so defensive. I was venting so it probably sounded horrible. I am kinda defending my self and some other people. I just think that any amount of time you breastfeed is great. I saw a few post were it seemed that people were frowning upon others that were trying to ween at around the same age i am. and i just wanted to clarify the advice i was giving to one woman where i said i was going cold turkey bc i do think that is harsh thats why i started weening months in advance. Everyone has to stop sometime. I just didnt feel like there was a lot of support in the decision to ween.

[Jacksmommy]

I think that we all agree that any amount of breastfeeding is great - whatever works for the mom and the baby. If you are happy in your decisions, that's all that matters about how and when you wean. The way people here advise and support is all different, but it's almost alwways well meaning - even if it doesn't sound that way sometimes.

[aprilshowerz]

I haven't seen too much support on here. I was looking for advice on weening, not snide remarks on not. And yes, ive witnessed that here. Don't get me wrong i have seen good things on here and thats why i joined. I felt i had to say something bc i saw multiple replies that were not encouraging. Weening can be a tough process, you really need encouragment. I'm sorry if i upset anyone. I felt i had to speak out

[Firemom]

If your happy with how things went then thats great. Everyone has there own opinioins and this is a breastfeeding support site. I don't think you will find anyone here in support of cold turkey weaning. It causes a lot of problems. But, your happy with how it went and that is all that is important. You shouldn't be so defensive with what someone said.

Take what you need from this site and leave the rest behind. you don't have to agree with what every poster has to say.

This site and every other message board I have been to does not have 100 percent support of eery post

[aprilshowerz]

why are u going to comment on my posting if you are not going to read what i wrote. I DID NOT cold turkey ween. Thats one of the reasons i wrote this post in the first place. If u actually read what i wrote on both of my posts then you would know that i started the weening process and continued it for over 3 months! thats why i got upset when everyone jumped on my poor choice of words. and obviously is still being used against me.
I came for support of breastfeeding and then onto weening (not cold turkey). If i felt that support was not given than that is my opinion. I have a right to post it. If it offends you so then dont read it and dont be so judgemental.

no i dont have to agree with every post but i can get mad if im being accused and then shunned because of something i did not do.

[Jacksmommy]

"Seeing that things needed change, I finally made an ultimatum. my son is now 13 months and i am in the process of quitting nursing. I had to use the cold turkey approach. i dont recommend it right off the bat, but if you have tried weening it might work. I nursed my son one last time and told him he wouldnt be nursing anymore. It was rough the first night, the second night was a little easier, he woke up about every 3-4 hours but was easily comforted back to sleep.

The roughest part for me is that i am so full of milk and SORE. I actually am wearing ice packs in my bra right now. . When i'm not icing myself, i am wearing a snug fitting sports bra and using a long dish towel to bind my breasts to stop milk flow. My mother suggested sage tea, but i havent had much luck finding it."

~Perhaps this is why you were misunderstood. Again, I don't see anyone criticizing you. I see people questioning you and perhaps disagreeing with you, but if you are happy with the way things worked out that shouldn't matter.

[aprilshowerz]

that is why i wrote this post. because i made a poor choice of words and i felt i needed to clarify. obviously that didnt work. It does bother me because people such as you and everyone else jumped on my case. but if you wouldve completely read my post, i said i tried weening for a while. I wrote this to clarify myself and stick up for other moms who i noticed werent getting support in the weening area. If you arent weening why visit the weening forum? i'll let it go when i choose to. I'd prefer to be understood first. What i saw was people in there who werent weening or havent weened, leaving comments on not weeeing and yes, being critical. perhaps you didnt read all the posts i did. Suppose someone was sick and was forced to stop nursing, would everyone jump on her? I'm still upset bc, yes opinions are opinions, but if it isnt going to help someone, why make it?

[Jacksmommy]

In what way did I jump on your case? I didn't intend to do that at all.
I think you were understood. I just think that some people wouldn't choose to wean the way you did, and surely you can understand that.

[Firemom]

If i felt that support was not given than that is my opinion. I have a right to post it. If it offends you so then dont read it and dont be so judgemental.

no i dont have to agree with every post but i can get mad if im being accused and then shunned because of something i did not do.

Wow. Talk about not reading a post. I posted that you were happy with your choice so there was no problem? Yes you have a right to post and I am not offended with what you wrote and I'm not being judgemental with what you wrote.

I think you are confused about what you are reading. No one shunned you and your right ,you don't have to agree with every post and yes you can get mad.

But I don't get why you are complaining if you are happy with your decision.

[aprilshowerz]

it isnt only you who is talking to me about this. thats why i continue talking about it. people are still talking about disagreeing with the way i weened when last time i checked it was pretty much the same. yes i originally said cold turkey, yes i know that. But i weened for months taking away one feeding at a time. that seems to be what a lot of people do. I was down to one feeding with the occassional night grazing. I took away that last feeding. why would anyone disagree with that? Yes im happy with it. what im not happy about is that people still think i just randomly stopped nursing. I did not. I WEENED FOR MONTHS. im writing this in capital letters for everyone to see because im tired of getting backlash for something i didnt do. Im sorry i wrote the wrong thing. i was trying to let a fellow mom know that i was going through a similar thing. I was giving SUPPORT.
I'm sorry that people cant look past a writing mistake. Thanks for the 0 amount of support i recieved from everyone.

i am ending this. I dont want any more comments and im not going to respond anymore

[Firemom]

Sorry you felt you got no support. Weaning a feeding at a time IS the way to do it. its easiest on mom and baby and I think everyone here would agree with that.

Hope you find a board where you feel more comfortable.