Husband wants me to wean

[bronco4grl]

My ds is 16 mon & my dh feels that 1 1/2 years is the right age to wean because, "They can eat solid food and drink regular milk at that age." This means that he wants me to wean in the next 2 months! He said that I've got to let go sometime and also wants me to put ds in his own bed in his bedroom (way across the house from ours--we cosleep now).

I never intended to bf past 1 yr. but am glad that I have. I feel that I am doing the best thing for my child, especially with him being in daycare and having asthma. I really don't want to wean until ds shows some signs of readiness (does anyone know what to look for?).

I'm not comfortable putting my ds across the house from us because of his asthma. He sometimes has attacks at night and I'm afraid I won't hear him. I really don't trust monitors. I could handle letting him start out the night in his own bed in our room.

Ds still nurses in the mornings before work, takes 2 6oz cups of bm at daycare, nurses in the afternoons, nurses to sleep and nurses 1-2 x during the night.

Dh says that he feels that ds should be weaned but will support me if I nurse longer. He said that he "draws the line at 4 yo" however. I'm not trying to turn this into some man bashing thing because I have a great husband. I was just wondering how other ladies have dealt w/ similar situations.
bronco4grl
Mom to Timothy 09/06

[Jacksmommy]

"I never intended to bf past 1 yr. but am glad that I have. I feel that I am doing the best thing for my child, especially with him being in daycare and having asthma. I really don't want to wean until ds shows some signs of readiness (does anyone know what to look for?).

I'm not comfortable putting my ds across the house from us because of his asthma. He sometimes has attacks at night and I'm afraid I won't hear him. I really don't trust monitors. I could handle letting him start out the night in his own bed in our room."

You already know what to say. You just said it. I think you should just talk to your husband and tell him what you want to do. He says he'll be supportive. Does your husband understand the benefits nursing provides for your son's immune system?

"Regular milk" is also something that's just weird to me. "Regular milk" is cow's milk. There's nothing regular about it unless you happen to be a cow. Regular milk for human babies is human milk.

[Firemom]

My dh wasn't to crazy about my dd nursing past age 2. Hey at the time I wasn't either. Sounds like he wll come around here is a website to check out if he will read it.

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/

[bronco4grl]

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/

Interesting site. Thanks, firemom. I'd be interested in other websites/books/literature others might know of.

[StElmosFire]

http://www.breastfeeding.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18502

A thread I started yesterday.
I hope you guys can find compromise.

[bronco4grl]

Maybe it's wrong of me, but I plan to continue bf until ds shows less interest in it/&/or d/c frequency no matter what dh says. He has said he'll support me but he disagrees w/ it past 1 1/2 y.o. I think the cosleeping bothers him more than the bf but the 2 are connected for us.

It may be that the bf bothers him some because we really don't have enough couple time. And w/ bf, I've got ds in my lap a lot and he's in bed w/ us.

My main thing is that I want to do what's best for ds. However, I don't want bf to come between dh & I.

[Firemom]

Here's a good book to read

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/103-8180307-2794242?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=mothering+your+nursing+child&x=19&y=20

[KaraJ]

That's really cool you have been able to BF so long! My little one is only 3months, and while I have told myself I will only BF till he's a year, I don't think I'll say that until I get there! :)
If your husband feels strongly against cosleeping, maybe you could just put your little one in a separate bed in the same room? That's what we did, and Rebekah was fine with it.

[madelsmama]

"Regular milk" is also something that's just weird to me. "Regular milk" is cow's milk. There's nothing regular about it unless you happen to be a cow. Regular milk for human babies is human milk.

You took the words right out of my mouth! Cow milk is much better suited for babies cows than it is for humans. Dairy causes an increase in secretions, which may be a bad idea for a child with asthma. In addition, since he does have asthma, nursing longer will give him the best chance of staying healthy. Consider getting him through an asthma flare up without being able to breastfeed. It will happen eventually, but the older he is, the better!

http://www.naturalnews.com/010443.html

[bronco4grl]

These are good links. I had never heard of that book about bf toddlers. I may just have to order that one.

[Nipple_nectar]

Maybe it's wrong of me, but I plan to continue bf until ds shows less interest in it/&/or d/c frequency no matter what dh says. He has said he'll support me but he disagrees w/ it past 1 1/2 y.o. I think the cosleeping bothers him more than the bf but the 2 are connected for us.

It may be that the bf bothers him some because we really don't have enough couple time. And w/ bf, I've got ds in my lap a lot and he's in bed w/ us.

My main thing is that I want to do what's best for ds. However, I don't want bf to come between dh & I.

First off, try and make sure that you do have couple time and you may find your DH is surprisingly supportive.

Secondly, read Norma Jane Bumgarners book aloud in bed, not like a reading assignment but mostly to yourself, occasionally sharing the good stuff with him:-)

I don't blame you for worrying about him sleeping so far from you. My DD is just down the hall and it worries me. I did invest in a good video monitor so I can "see" her whenever I want, right from my bed, it does bring me comfort.

It you talk to DH about what your expectations look like, then at least you have a plan. You might want to tackle night weaning first, the book by Elizabeth Pantley will help, called The no cry sleep solution.

[LianeV]

Hey Gals! Good for you for following what you know is right. But, you gotta know your dh's are hearing it from the friends and family and they don't have any idea, for the most part, how to support you in this. So, the others arguments against it begin to make sense. There's lots of reasons why extended nursing is best for our babies. I'm glad you're educating yourselves. That's the key! You know why you're choosing this style of parenting, then you share what you know with your dh. Then you tell him how important it is that he protects your child's rights to nurse by sharing the facts with those well-intentioned friends and family, and believing in it himself. See, out of ignorance, they really may think you are damaging your child by nursing this long. They will eventually learn by example, but in the meantime help the ones who really matter to understand this is perfectly normal and best for your child.

Also, someone said to make sure and make couple time. This is soooo important. Get creative. Nurse the baby to sleep in one spot and slip away to someplace out of the ordinary for a little "activity." Even if you're really not inclined, you'll probably be glad you went ahead, once you get "warmed up." He's not getting the same amount of skin-to-skin as you and he needs it. Besides, let's face it, men are kind of simple that way. It's not like you gotta go out and dig a ditch. It's something we should do out of love. They need that reassurance about why they are out there working (hopefully) and taking care of the family. Tell them how lucky you and your child(ren) are to have a strong, capable man providing for you. It's not a hard thing to do. It's worth it.

Hope you guys don't mind an "old lady" chiming in. I learned some of this the hard way.

Happy Nursing!

[bronco4grl]

Great advice ladies! I really appreciate it.
:)