potty training advice

[flwrdrmgirl]

Right now I can't see the subjects for some reason, but I know I'm in the right area

...anyways, my DS just turned 3 yrs old and I would like to have him PT by my DDs bday. I know he's ready..he's gone poop in the potty several times and will go pee frequently, but most of the time it will depend on his 'mood' or what he's wearing (i.e. we started training w/nothing on, but then he didn't understand the 'pull up, pull down your pants concept after that, so now he wears underwear, pullups, diapers..you name it)

I've tried putting him on the potty every 15, 30 , 60 min. but he either fights it or says he doesn't have to go. I've tried the Jelly Belly beans , but that doesn't seem to motivate him enough, so now I've run out of ideas. What sort of consistency needs to happen here? I also don't want to keep nagging him to the point where he will rebel against me. Or is he just not completely ready?

[Wilcox03]

I would love to give all the advice in the world to you, and I will share some that I think might help you, but my daughter was pretty easy peasy...so I am VERY much feeling sympathy for you as I know the first coupld days WERE hard for us, but can't imagine it lasting longer! So hugs to you!

With my daughter, I just tried to make it fun. Played silly games, colored, read books, sang songs, giggled, tickled, painted her toes and finger nails, etc.

I say...honestly, from talking to a lot of people on this subject (I'm a hairsylist-I get alot of stories), every kid is different on when they're ready. Of course, as you know...3 year old is going to be active enough to where they probably will have a hard time just sitting there long enough to expel things, so just put him on there long enough until he acts/says he wants off and call it good for that session. Don't push it. Like you said, you don't want him to get to the point of not liking it or feeling like its a negative thing. But also be consistent and don't leave long periods of time (days, weeks, etc) in between of not doing it...a little bit here a little bit there every day adds up after awhile and he might just get to the point of the routine that he might eventually stick with it. Maybe picking a time of the day to do it, whether he wants to or not and just sticking with it. Making it routine. Like put him on the potty after he gets up in the morning before breakfast...OR right before nap time...OR before you make errands..OR a time you think would be best for him...even he doesn't like it.
I personally feel pull-ups, diapers, etc., tend to delay the process...in MY opinion. I'd stick to just wearing underwear..at least it will catch 'stuff' for the most part instead of it ALL going to the floor. ;) Plus if he maybe feels the dirty underwear against his skin, he might not like it and that's when you can address the whole potty issue. Take his underwear off, make sure to tell him show him that the "contents" in his undies are meant to go IN the potty not in the underwear, and say "its okay, maybe next time we can try going potty in the toilet instead"..something like that. I dunno....every kids is SO different, I can't say what he'll take to the best or if anything I say will help...just ideas. If it makes you feel better, I have a lot of friends whose kids weren't potty trained until age 4 and eventually they will see other kids their age not wearing diapers and maybe get the idea then. Just be patient, don't get mad, make it fun and be consistent. Best of luck!

[amyamy1973]

I agree with all of Leah's advice. My dd seemed so close for like months but never totally got the hang of it. Then I just stopped putting her in diapers. When I was with her, at home or out, she wore underpants. We had a lot of accidents and I had to be prepared with many changes of clothes and cleaned up many spots on the floor. And I had to keep a light and sunny disposition the whole time. But after about a week and a half of "panties only" (except for pull ups at night) she totally got the hang of it. For a while I had to remind her often to prevent accidents but now, at 3.5, she is mostly accident free. She's had maybe two accidents in the last four months. I think ditching the diapers is the way to go. Let him feel the wetness a few times. And look for signals. If dd grabs herself or is especially squirmy I ask "do you feel the feeling?" and rush her to the restroom.

[flwrdrmgirl]

Hi, thanks for your recent posts. I am STILL trying. It's been well over 2 months now. My goal was to have him trained by my DDs birth date, because I didn't want him in diapers during the summertime. But, he is only in a diaper/pullup at night, bottomless during the day at home, and then when we're out...depending on where we're going or my DS's mood, I will put him in underwear or a pullup (usually if he hasn't pooped in the morning when he wakes up).

I really think it's me b/c when my DH has the kids when I'm in school, DS is fine (well, most of the time) and then when I come home, it can vary. I'm guessing I stress him out. I need to just chill like you and have a sunny disposition.

[flwrdrmgirl]

Ps. I did try this 'whispering' game and will tell my DS to 'whisper' to me when he has to go to the potty while we are out in public. Maybe that makes him less self conscious if I'm asking him out loud in public if he has 'to go' .

[Jmom1010]

I'm on this page too. My ds is only 2.5 and just began to pee on the potty every once in a while. It's still hot or miss and has to do more with us anticipating that he has to go. Anyway, I'd like to move onto to underwear but I fear the accidents, cleaning them up that is. Most of our house is done in very cleanable surfaces but I worry about how to clean our denium couch, his car seat etc. So what do you all use to clean with. I'm mostly worried about pee since it soaks in.

[flwrdrmgirl]

Anyway, I'd like to move onto to underwear but I fear the accidents, cleaning them up that is. Most of our house is done in very cleanable surfaces but I worry about how to clean our denium couch, his car seat etc. So what do you all use to clean with. I'm mostly worried about pee since it soaks in.

Well, I too, if you've read my pasts posts, get so frustrated when I have to clean the poop from his underwear (that is where I get mad, but not at DS for going in his pants, but b/c I have to clean out the poop), that everyone recommended my DS revert back to being bottomless.

It is working out great, and DS will run straight to the potty. 'Shishi/peepee' as we call it, comes and goes...most of the time in the potty.

As for cleaning, DH and I make sure to rinse out his underwear and/or shorts when he goes peepee ASAP, so that it doesn't stain and smell so strong. (if you don't then, most of the time it needs a 2nd washing cycle) Then, if there are many accidents, I have a designated bin for all his rinsed dirty clothes to be washed.

For 'poop', it's like rinsing out a cloth diaper back when my mom and dad were doing it and now...flushing and rinsing the underwear in the toilet as much as I can, and then washing the rest in the sink with some cheap shampoo.

If DS pees on the couch or rug (which is rare...he usually goes on our hardwood floor), then I use Brommer's mixed with water or other peppermint soap and soak the surface.

It is a lot of work, especially when you have smaller children, but the advice in here reminds me to keep sane!

Goodluck, and if you want to compare stories, feel free to email me!-Robyn

[ima062002]

I think kids will train when they are ready without any help from us. My dd was trained at 3ish, but I kept a night diaper on her until she told me she didn't want one anymore :). My ds, who is turning 4 in a couple of weeks, still has pullups. He poops in the toilet since he is 2, but he has no interest in running to the toilet several times a day so he just flatout refuses. I think that if I make a big deal about it, I will only prolong it.

The only thing that I might try with dd2 (and ds) is cloth diapering (actually g diapers) come this summer.

[intokermit]

I just read this article on potty training, and I thought you might find it a little helpful!
http://www.toddlerstoday.com/articles/toilet-training/imitation-is-the-sincerest-form-of-flattery-5627/

[Jmom1010]

Thanks for posting that. I've had my son in the bathroom with me since day 1. I always leave the door open now so he can come in and out.

[flwrdrmgirl]

Ok, my 3 y/o DS really 'no like poopoo ' and is not going in the potty now. We thought he was doing well in his new Kung Fu Panda underwear, but I just threw out a poopooed one. He will not go poop in the big potty for sure, but will go peepee in any toilet available.
I wanted DS to go to preschool, but maybe since most of the Los Angeles ones are full (b/c this city is crazy pro-preschool where there are 'in utero' waiting lists!) anyways, this is a good sign that I can wait it out.

I like how people posted about just letting their DSs decide when they're ready, but does this mean I need to revert back to pullups/diapers all day?! I will probably go back (for the 2nd time since March) to bottomless in the house, and pullups when out of the house.

I still feel bad that DS has to deal with my poop frustrations,but I do explain to him that I am not mad at him , but mad at the 'poop'. I'm going to try and Google some other sort of advice. -robyn

[RedheadbyChoice]

Honestly, I'd back waaaaaaaay off, at this point.

[flwrdrmgirl]

Yes, definitely. I don't want to traumatize him and I just have to believe in him. I just had to talk about it because I was frustrated and feeling guilty. DH and I are making and effort to just let it go until he is ready. Thank you so much.

[Jacksmommy]

If he wants to pee in the potty and poop in a diaper, could you just ask him to tell you when he needs to poop so you can put a diaper on him? Definitely don't make this a big deal. If you get mad at poop, then he may not want to make any. Kids get issues pretty quickly. It's no big deal. We clean it up. All done. Go play.

[vickikreiner]

My son got potty trained lickidy split when he wanted to go in the "big pool" with his sister. He was motivated on his own. Maybe you can suggest getting to go in the "big pool" with mommy if he gives you a few consistent days of compliance. That is, if you have a pool to go to.

[Amy_G_]

Sometimes they get freaked out about the toilet flushing away the poop and to them it feels like a part of them just went down that scary hole into the ground.

back off for at least a few weeks.

when your introduce it again, consider a sticker chart with plain stickers (maybe stars) for sitting on the toilet and trying.
and different stickers for peeing
and huge stickers for poop on the toilet.

[SingingMom]

I take it really easy with the potty training myself. My 3 y.o. did it when he was ready. I felt he was ready- but he decided to potty train so he could have swimming lessons. (I told him you had to potty trained in order to have swimming lessons.)

With my latest DD, we are still in the stage of telling her what WE are doing- "I have to pee now. Mommy's going to pee in the potty." Of course, she's sixteen months old, my expectations are low right now.

In your case, you have choices. You could go all out, hard-core potty training. Some people swear by this- but you will have to have cooperation form everyone who cares for your kiddo. And a determinedly sunny disposition.

Or you can back off and let your kiddo set the pace. Whatever you choose, your kiddo will likely be potty trained next year.

[des477]

I read somewhere to let him pickout a toy that he only gets to play with while sitting on the potty. When he does actually use the potty you make a big deal out of it...dancing, singing and clapping. When he doesnt use it dont make such a big deal but encourage him for trying.

[blessedbythree]

With my DS I got out the calendar and had him pick the day that diapers would go away. He chose the day and for the next couple weeks we talked about it casually and looked at the calendar from time to time to remind him. The evening before the diapers went away my DH took him to the store and he picked out special treats (cars, stickers, rubber snakes etc). He got one of these big treats for going poop and got a M&M for pee. He got on real quick and we had very little resistance. Now my other son was a whole other story and I won't get into that cuz what we did didn't work well.

Best of luck!