Losing mind weaning is hard

[ibchick02]

Im over breastfeeding, now I know that comment will get many angry responses but Im human okay and right now I am just over it. I love my little one to death but I just am not feeling the bf'ing anymore. Its not really an enjoyable experience for me anymore like it used to be, its like I am going through the seperation rather than he is. The issue is we have been trying to wean him on a bottle by starting slow and he just still refuses to take it, he screams bloody murder so we stop. We try offering a bottle to him while he is NOT hungry i.e. after I bf and wait an hour we give him expressed milk which he will take the bottle in his mouth an dplay sometimes eat but not really.

I just dont know if my child will ever take to a bottle and we have tried every single one man made out there!!! Im just frustrated as Im sure he is I just dont enjoy it anymore so it makes me a little more frustrated when I dont see progress on his end. He will eventually take it after crying or screaming and eat well and be calm during it but its getting him to take it that is so hard. DH gives him the bottle but when he is at work I give him one which hasnt been so pleasant so far.

I know this takes time and I know he isnt ready like I am and I am working with him, I just dont see a light at the end of the tunnel. Any suggestions? And please keep the "boo hoo's" to a minimum, Im really looking for support.

[Bianca]

How old is your son? All I can say is don't get discuraged many mom are going through the same including myself and may daughter is 19 months. So hang in there!

[ibchick02]

I guess I would enjoy it more if he would also take to a bottle, right now it is exclusively breast and its frustrating for me because I am at his beck and call and its pretty impossible to leave the house let alone try to get alone time with DH...its just getting to the point that the less freedom I have the more I regret exclusively breast feeding, I used to enjoy it and now its just not the same...

[kohlby]

From what I'm reading, you don't sound like you want to wean but you need a breastfeeding to be more managable. Is your child at least 3 months old? If so, I'd suggest not bothering with the bottle. Both of my kids started soft spout sippy cups at 3 months old. (My daughter wouldn't take the occassional bottle and I prefered to start sippies early so getting a child off the bottle would never be an issue). The avent soft spout sippies now say 6+months on them, but they're the exact same as the ones that said 3+ months when my son started them. (Some people find they have to take out the spout to teach the baby to use the sippy. My kids took right to it though, I think the young age really helped). If your child is at least 6 months old, then straw cups might be worth a shot.

If your baby is under 3 months, then my advice would be to hang in there - there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I swear, though I didn't believe others either. The first 3 months is rough for some. I thought about weaning my son every single day for the first three months. Then it got easier, MUCH easier. Nursing was comfort for him. He wouldn't take a pacifier and I tried every single pacifier I could find. He pretty much wanted to nurse 24/7 and would nurse as long as I let him during each nursing session - which I'd cut short at over an hour! But it got better, to the point that I no longer resenting him nursing so much since he finally gave me breaks.

[ibchick02]

From what I'm reading, you don't sound like you want to wean but you need a breastfeeding to be more managable. Is your child at least 3 months old? If so, I'd suggest not bothering with the bottle. Both of my kids started soft spout sippy cups at 3 months old. (My daughter wouldn't take the occassional bottle and I prefered to start sippies early so getting a child off the bottle would never be an issue). The avent soft spout sippies now say 6+months on them, but they're the exact same as the ones that said 3+ months when my son started them. (Some people find they have to take out the spout to teach the baby to use the sippy. My kids took right to it though, I think the young age really helped). If your child is at least 6 months old, then straw cups might be worth a shot.

If your baby is under 3 months, then my advice would be to hang in there - there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I swear, though I didn't believe others either. The first 3 months is rough for some. I thought about weaning my son every single day for the first three months. Then it got easier, MUCH easier. Nursing was comfort for him. He wouldn't take a pacifier and I tried every single pacifier I could find. He pretty much wanted to nurse 24/7 and would nurse as long as I let him during each nursing session - which I'd cut short at over an hour! But it got better, to the point that I no longer resenting him nursing so much since he finally gave me breaks.



I am crying (seriously) reading your post because I swear I feel so alone with this...I mean everyone is so "Breastfeeding is so fabulous" and for me it is HARD! I mean I am a pro now but when it comes to me being his single source of comfort and food I feel so overwhelmed and its like Im trying to hang in there for him and him alone...you are so right...I enjoyed it once but now Im so not myself I cant go anywhere Im pretty much on his schedule and Ive lost a piece of me, I would love to continue to bf if he would just take to a bottle or cup at some feedings...I am going to get the cups you talk about...he is almost 3 months (10 wks) so I was going to hang on for a couple more weeks to see if the 3 month mark makes a difference for him...I was telling DH yesterday that it isnt the sleep Im not getting that is frustrating its the freedom I dont have that is making me so sad....and its so hard to look at my DS and resent bf'ing him because I see him get so big and happy that it brings me a happiness and it makes me sad that I feel this way...

Thank you for what you said, I realy appreciated it, its nice to know honestly what people do go through...

[Jacksmommy]

When my ds was in the "mommy is my everything" stage, I took 15 minute outings every now and then. It may not seem like much, but it made me feel like I got to have some small amount of freedom. It was also good for dh to see that he could handle being the only parent in the house with a small baby for short periods of time.

[kohlby]

When my ds was in the "mommy is my everything" stage, I took 15 minute outings every now and then. It may not seem like much, but it made me feel like I got to have some small amount of freedom. It was also good for dh to see that he could handle being the only parent in the house with a small baby for short periods of time.

I did this too - but I started with 4 minute showers! I had to set a rule that DH was NOT allowed to come into the bathroom with screaming DS while I showered. That was MY time. I eventually took longer showers and even started going for walks in the evening when DH was home. My big sanity saver was joining a gym with childcare. DS was 9 months then, but there was no way I could have done it earlier due to his temperment. (9 months was pushing it but I needed it mentally). I felt terrible leaving DS to scream while he adjusted to the gym but I needed it. I felt that I had so much more to give back to DS by getting those breaks so he benifited too. (I started back up with the gym when my DD was 5 months, but she was no where near as demanding as him. She could have handled earlier, but I wasn't ready!)

[mom2two]

I don't have any advice to give you, all I can do is say that I can totally relate and understand how you are feeling. My son would not take a bottle at all, and will only drink from a cup that has a straw or one of the Nuby soft spout cups. My son will be 2 on Sunday and I'm trying to slowly wean him from breastfeeding. I'm glad I found this website so hopefully I can get some suggestions. I'm sure you will get some great advice and support from others who have succesfully weaned. Hang in there!

[stephie]

I understand as well I once was right were you were in wanting my breast back and my freedom. I am home all day with my two kids and one other were pretty much raising who was 6 weeks younger then my baby. I was very overwhelmed both girls always wanted me and the screamed for my attention. My daughter soothed herself by nursing and as a way to claim me. (the other was bottle fed) My daughter will not take a bottle for me at all but will only take the latex nipples, Playtex bottles with the drop in liners. Only latex works and I can be no where around when she gets offered it. She will take them for my husband and my mom only. Try that letting someone else try while you go to the store or to get a haircut or something. I let my daughter win and I have been nursing for almost 13 months. and now kind of at the point of wanted to stop but feeling selfish. I want to diet and take cheaper birth control and all the other. I got over the being tied down feeling fast. Your only tied down if you let nursing control you like that. Find what works for you and if nursing isn't one of them then that's fine to. You gave your baby the best possible start in life and if you could manage to continue nursing just a few times a day that would be incredible. But over all your health (mentally and physically) needs to come first so you can care for your child. Your baby is young just try bottles and cup to find what works. My suggestion is go to second hand stores and sterilize old things till you find one that works then buy new. It can get quite expensive finding a bottle/cup that works. Sippy for me was the Gerber soft spout. Well good luck

[Prettyskittle82]

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. I have a friend who's first child had a really hard time taking the breast, so she was really happy that her 2nd baby was easy for her to breastfeed, except when she went back to work, the baby wouldn't take milk from a bottle.
They had to feed her with a spoon. You can try that... or a syringe. That may help. Just keep trying. He'll eventually take the bottle.... but you are on a breastfeeding site, so you should understand that they are not trying to be hurtful.... just want you to do what's best.

And if you've already decided that you want to wean, then just pay attention to what's helpful for you.

And you should be proud that you've breastfed at all.

Good luck.

[Amy_G_]

pick the time of the day that drives you the battiest with breastfeeding babe, hopefully that's a time when someone else is home or you can get a mother's helper or babysitter--and leave babe with them with a soft spout sipper cup WITHOUT the non-spill valve, and a couple ounces of breastmilk if possible (or carnation good start formula it tastes more like breastmilk in my opinion) and go somewhere and do something for just you.

dont' drop any other breastfeeding sessions until this one time a day works out for you. It may take a couple weeks. but it will hopefully give you enough time away to screw your head on straight, feel like a human again and figure out what you want to do next. If he won't take a bottle or sipper cup, then weaning isn't going to be very successful, so establish that first by teaching him how and giving him time to get used to it before weaning further.

Often just dropping the one session a day changes your whole outlook on things. If he were older I'd suggest giving solids while you are away, but 3 months is too young for that. Just realize that once he begins solids, the process of weaning has begun, and you'll see more freedom. hang in there and make the process very very gradual so you both will be ok with it.

[littlebooty]

We are both going through the same thing too... my 11 month 3 week daughter refuses to stop bf..i am so over it too. Goodluuck i wishh i can know how to wean her off too. Yes it is really hard and it gets me so frustrated too.