Not sleeping well

[fanini]

My son is 3 1/2 months old. He is still not sleeping thru the night....not even coming close. He wakes every 2-3 hrs and usually I nurse him to go back to sleep. Many times he wakes a lot during that 2-3 hrs in between nursings because his startle reflex still wakes him up. So basically, he is sleeping very little, and thus so am I. I am really at my wits end because its now been 3 1/2 months since I got a decent nights sleep. Last nite I spoke with the pediatrician about it. He recommended giving him a small amount (2 oz) of formula right after I finish the last nursing of the evening (like when I am going to bed). He said that many times your milk production starts to take a dip as the day progresses, so the baby may not be getting enough milk to keep him full enough to stay asleep. I did that last nite because I am desparate to sleep, and I feel like 2 ozs of formula each nite is like spitting in the ocean as far as the pros and cons of breastfeeding vs formula feeding. Unfortunately, he still woke up after three hours and I nursed him again. Then he threw it all up. I am now thinking that when he woke up, he really just needed to be burped instead of fed again. So I will try the same regime tonite, but maybe with less formula, and I will try to be more aware of whether he needs to burp if he wakes again.

Does anyone have any experience with any of this? Does the pediatrician's theory sound as reasonable as I think it does? Being so short on sleep, I am not trusting my instincts or judgement at this point. Thanks!

[intokermit]

Well, I have some ideas. Have you tried co-sleeping? That's the only way that my 2 month old will sleep. As for the startle complex, do you swaddle him to keep his hands down? Him waking every 2-3 hours to eat is normal for a BF baby, as the milk digests faster. I would also suggest napping when ever your ds does, to catch up on sleep. I know that formula only takes longer to digest as it's harder on the stomach, so if you can avoid it then I would. If you co-sleep, you could feed him in bed while you sleep. Just a thought.

[fanini]

Thanks for the response. I have tried co sleeping and it does work. The only problem is that I do not want him to sleep with us for the long term. So I thought it best to stop doing it now that he is over 3 months old since its not yet a real habit. I want him to be able to sleep well alone in his crib because that is our longer term plan for him. But I will definately keep the co sleeping in mind for nights when its really tough to keep getting up. Thanks!

[kbearmytai]

His sleep pattern will change, trust me. My ds is now going through being up for 12 hours during the day with no nap and still up every 2 hours through the night to eat. The same baby that went 2 months giving me a 4 hour stretch of sleep.

He could be approaching a growth spurt too.

[RedheadbyChoice]

Sugar, a 3 month old baby wakes at night to eat. Plain and simple. And giving him formula, when he only needs breastmilk, isn't going to help matters. I don't think your ped's idea holds water at all. Yes, milk production does dip later in the day; that's your signal to nurse more, not offer a bottle of anything; this is how our breasts work, and it works well. Just nurse that babe when he squeaks. So no, his theory isn't correct and isn't reasonable, IMO. I honestly know of very few peds who even properly understand lactation, so I don't ask them for advice on it; they are given so very little information on it in med school, it's really quite sad.

Did you know that 'sleeping through the night' is considered a 5 hour stretch? And that not even all babes are doing that at a year? I don't expect a 3 month old baby to sleep longer than 3-4 hours a night.

Are you able to nap with babe at all during the day? That's another lovely way to get some rest. As for cosleeping, it was and is a lifesaver for us when babe is growth spurting or ill or teething. Letting a babe sleep with you as a babe doesn't mean that babe will sleep with your forever. All 4 of our kids have slept with us, off and on, when needed, and all sleep in their own space now.

But, you have to do what works for you and your family. Not what your ped thinks, or your mom thinks, or what we think.

I guess what I'm saying is that a 3 month old baby, waking every 2-3 hours at night, is perfectly normal and isn't a sign that babe needs supplementing.

[ima062002]

I totally agree with PP and Red said it all. I just wanted to say that even if you chose to cosleep say for a year (gasp! :)), you could STILL then move him to a crib. Humans are very adaptable, that is how we got to be 7+ billion people on this earth. There is nothing you cannot change at some point. It might be a bit difficult to do this later, but you might find that you'll change your mind at that point, or not and then it will be something you'll need to give a bit of time, but bottom line, you can move your baby out of your bed/room at *any* given time. Right now, IMO, since he's so small and sleeping for longer stretches is not something he'll likely do soon, sleeping together will bring you maximum rest, baby what he needs and everything else will fall into place with a bit of nudging later on :).

[SingingMom]

We chose to cosleep. We tried out the crib thing, and I just can't not feed a baby who cries in the night. Little babies get hungry every three or four hours, that's just the way it works.

Overfeeding with formula doesn't really keep a baby this young from getting hungry. Their bellies are small and they are growing fast.

Cosleeping gave me my sleep time back. It's much, much easier to feed a baby lying down in the dark and fall back asleep than it is to get up and nurse a baby.

Also, I nap with the baby during the day. (I still do this, and the baby is fourteen months old now.)

It would probably be easier for you to cosleep now and use the crib later than it would be to go on short sleep for the next several months, with the intention of teaching your baby to sleep in the crib.