babysitter blues

[flwrdrmgirl]

Has anyone experienced this? For the first time, we had a 'couple' friend of ours watch BOTH DD and DS while DH and I went out. They are planning to have kids soon, so they were happy to watch our kids.

3 y/o DS did SO well w/them, and my friend 'Ron' got along w/DS so well (vice versa). He even explained things to DS better than I think either of us could have time for.

EX: DS pulled a flower bulb off its stem, and 'Ron' told DS he shouldn't do that. DS replied, "Why?" and 'Ron' said, "Well, lets open the bulb up and I'll show you what's inside. See, there's a flower inside and if you pull them off, they can't grow." DS calmed down.

If it was me, then I would've probably told him to stop, or simply that the flower is alive and wants to grow..pretty much depends on my patience level at the moment.

Now I am just rethinking the way I am w/DS and maybe he needs more, maybe I'm not patient enough, maybe I'm feeling guilty?

I'm guessing it's somewhat normal to be envious of the sitter or nanny and their relationship w/your child? DS acts differently w/me even when I come home to relieve DH for work!

[Stephanie]

It is a lot different to watch kids for a little while, than being with them all the time. Your kids know exactly how to push your buttons, and will do it. With someone new, they don't know what to expect.

Don't beat yourself up. Be glad that you have someone to leave your kids with and your kids have someone else to love them. :)

[jaw1574]

I know exactly what you are saying! I remember feeling that way when I would leave DD ( now 14) with family or a sitter at first. As the pp stated, the kids know how to push your buttons and will do it! You are with your child all of the time and they feel comfortable with you thus they test limits with you. Whne they are with another person, they are with someone who they do not have that type of bond with and so they tend to be on better behavior with them. The patiense thing is something I am also dealing with right now with DS( 15 months) as he just seems to not want to listen and do as he is asked a lot of the time...UGH. What I can offer is that you are doing the best that you can and it is easy to see the strengths of others , but we tend to be harder on ourselves when it comes to seeing our strengths!