OT - birthday party woes

[ima062002]

How would you go about a 6 year old's wishes for her birthday party? My dh thinks that she should not have much say in who comes to her party (i.e. the whole class is invited and then her friends from outside the school), whereas I lean towards letting her call the shots who's to come.

I did ask her a couple of times in the last few weeks who she'd like to invite and she consistently does NOT want to invite one of her best friends. So I have a dilemma now. Her tiffs with her friend are common, so they are either best friends or enemies, but I also noticed lately that she is complaining about N more often. This could be a fluke though, i.e. not be meaningfull in terms of their friendship.

I told her that not inviting N would be very hurtful for N and reminded her that they often play very nicely together (they have a playdate every week at least once and often meet on the playground after school, after having been to school together all morning). Right now mentioning inviting N is getting me "you can't make me, it's my party, you're kaka" and other niceties if I try to make a point for including her.

Should I just wait for them to have a good time and then ask my dd again (I am pretty sure she'd say yes) and then just not discuss the list anymore? Or should I just drop the issue and invite everybody like my dh thinks is right?

Is 6 way too young to be the one chosing who comes to your party? I do remember when I was little, my mother invited all kinds of kids from the neighborhood and kids from her friends and it put a dent in my enjoyment of my party.

I'd like for her to invite whoever she wants (i.e. some class mates but not all) but I am also sad about the fact that she will not consider inviting her best friend...

ARGH...

[Daisy]

Have you asked her how she would feel if N had a cool party at a cool place (insert cool place) and did not invite her?

In kindergarten we invited the whole class, by first grade she was picking and choosing herself.

Love the Kaka btw, josephine, who will be 4 in July, likes to tell me that either I'm evil or the thing I just said is evil. :)

[Jacksmommy]

I think 6 is too young to have the final say in something like that. I think you should just invite who you think you should invite and tell her to be nice to ALL of her guests. If she excluded her friend or was not nice to her, she'd feel bad about it later.

[kbearmytai]

When my daughters were that age we let them have some say but we also put limitations on the party. We would say "you can invite x amount of friends to the party". And then let her decide which friends to invite. My girls would have on/off again spats with their friends at that age (still do).
Have you asked why she is having problems with her best friend? I've done this with my girls and then when we break down what is going on they see how ridiculous the spat was and all is worked out.
That's all I have for you, wish I could be more help. Good luck

[Brianna]

I think 6 is too young to have the final say in something like that. I think you should just invite who you think you should invite and tell her to be nice to ALL of her guests. If she excluded her friend or was not nice to her, she'd feel bad about it later.


This.

[RedheadbyChoice]

I'd be inviting N, absolutely. And at 6, honestly, no, I wouldn't give the option of the guest list being her responsibility.

[kbearmytai]

I let my daughters have input as to which friends to invite because there are kids that my daughters don't want to be around for example, the snotty ones, trouble makers, or some that I have seen at the juvenile correctional facility.

[Stephanie]

I'd be inviting N, absolutely. And at 6, honestly, no, I wouldn't give the option of the guest list being her responsibility.


Agreed.