Advice for"high needs/fussy" baby

[pierrejill]

Please help!! I am looking for more sleep and less crying...any suggestions

My son is 4 weeks old. He was born 10 lbs and is gaining 1lb a week. He is peeing at least 6-10 times a day and pooping 3-6 times a day. He is nursing every 2 hours- he wants to nurse every 1 1/2 hr but was very fussy and spitting up after so the nurse suggested feeding less frequently. the spinting up has lessened but not the fussing. He wants to be held, shh'd, off/on swaddled while being rocked, bounced and patted at the same time if awake. At night he will sleep max 2hr twice in a row then is awake crying for an hour and will then only sleep 30-45 min 0r will just only sleep 30-45 min before waking up crying. During the day he will take cat naps on me or in his swing for 20-30 min then wake crying. Usually the crying can be consoled but only with nonstop being held, shh'd, off/on swaddled while being rocked, bounced and patted at the same time. Then about every 2-3 days he will cry uncontrollably for 1-1 1/2 hours (car ride will stop crying only if moving on a dirt road) then sleep exhausted but still only if in my arms.

The doctor states he is fine. If that is the case no one would have children!! He is exhausting and I am concerned there is a medical problem (again two doctors at 2 different times say no) or there is a problem with my milk/breast feeding. I am tempted to try formula but concerned that would only exacerbate his digestive woes.

Please help!! I am looking for more sleep and less crying...any suggestions

[Jessie81]

I would feed on demand- not less often. Does it seem like baby is in pain?

[pierrejill]

he only seems painful about 20% of thetime and resolves w/ burp/gas/bm

[Jacksmommy]

This was what my baby was like. He was perfectly content at the breast and being held so I just never put him down. He hated car rides - screamed/cried and then threw up, so we avoided going anywhere in a car. It was only the first year. Once he could crawl and face forward in his carseat, he needed to be held less and did much better in the car.
My advice is to nurse on demand. Maybe you want to block nurse if you think too much milk is a problem. My baby nursed every hour so I don't think there's any such thing as too often. My advice is to hold your baby as much as he wants to be held. He won't be a baby very long.

[pierrejill]

I totally understand holding him and not over spoiling him, but how am I suppose to be dancing with him almost 24/7...I need my sleep too!! Also I am very nervous about how I am going to survive returning to work...unfortunately staying home until he can "live" without me is not an option.

So what I am understanding is this is "normal" so maybe I need to find a 3rd shift nanny??:hugegrin: Then maybe I can sleep...cause without sleep I won't even be able to produce milk!!

[Jacksmommy]

Do you have a sling? Sometimes just putting baby in a sling and walking around doing normal daily activities is soothing.
And I totally understand needing sleep, but it just isn't something I know how to tell a mother of a newborn how to get - not "normal" sleep anyway. I co-slept with my baby. I napped with him when he napped/nursed. I slept with him beside me at night. That was the only way for me to sleep.

[RedheadbyChoice]

Indeed, I would be feeding on demand as well. And a sling, oh yes, absolutely. As for sleeping, how about co-sleeping?

:hug:

Hang in there, momma!

Oh, and there's a Dr. Sears book, The Fussy Baby. 'Tis a very good read.

[klynnw]

My lo is 2 1/2 months and still won't sleep during the day without being held. I have a sling, that helps alot! He also fussed TONS during the first 6 weeks or so. It was very difficult for me. He has gotten better now, although he still has his moments and he is very particular about a lot of things. But, b/c he sleeps very lightly during the day, he does give us good stretches at night. The days can be exhausting though.

[Jmom1010]

How much longer do you have? My son was alot like yours and some of the stuff resolved before I went back to work at 12 weeks.

[karen24]

Hi
I would get a sling because at the end of the day you need to make a drin,but the washing to dry etc and at least in a sling for a while he's content and you are free to move. My second son who is know 4 wks old has the same problem with wind and colic grip water is the best he's old enough now to have it and avoid bottle feeding as with my first son this made it worse, unfortunatly with him it stopped at 3mths to the day. He's 2 and still doesn't sleep right through, but it did get better. If your sleeping on your feet express some and leave him with your parter or mum and go to bed for afew hours through the day you can't be super women all the time, Breastfeeding alone is hardwork. With my son I bought a baby roll for his crib, it means he can lay on his side with out rolling on to his front and makes him feel secure, sometimes he needs carefully laying down so he thinks I'm still there too. Does he have a dummy to suck on that was a life saver with my first, Hope this is some help.

[dodoe80]

I feel for you. Mine was/is very cranky too, though sounds like you have it wors. I agree with the sugestion about finding someone els to take care of your child while you sleep or just take a few minutes for yourself. My son will sleep longer/better if I co sleep (but we don't, I bring him into bed with me in the mornings when I want to sleep a little longer.) Maybe this would help you.

[pumpkinhead7]

RIght off the bat, this sounds like a milk supply/reflux/letdown issue. My babies were similar.

The hallmarks of oversupply and overactive letdown are a baby who gains a lot of weight very rapidly (1 lb a week is what my babies gained and when the expected weight gain is 1lb a month, this fits the criteria :)), a baby who wants to nurse frequently, spits up after feeding and who has a lot of diaper output. Other signs are painful sensations upon letdown. Does your other breast leak while your ds is nursing? Does he gulp at the breast? Does he ever come off the breast coughing during a feed? If he does come off, does your milk spray?

Oversupply and forceful letdown issues can give a baby situational reflux. His belly is getting overfull and acid is therefore coming up into his esophagus. Swallowing helps keep this acid down so nursing is soothing to them and they want to nurse frequently. So, it's a cycle. They want to nurse because they're uncomfortable and they're uncomfortable because they're getting too much milk.

Have you tried block nursing? This is where you offer only one breast per feeding and you offer this same breast for at least 2-3 feedings or more. Your unused breast may become uncomfortable, and if it does you should express just enough milk to make yourself comfortable and express a little before nursing with this breast so that your baby isn't getting a firehose.

This link explains it better:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html

Best of luck to you!

[Jacksmommy]

I'm also going to add in here that my baby was very sensitive to my diet pretty early on. I found that drinking chamomile tea was soothing for him. I'd drink it before bed. I also found that caffeine kept him awake so I couldn't have any.

[pierrejill]

Thank you all for your help! Since my posting we got an hour nap!! So I am feeling more human!

I have made a call to the LC for a sling...definitely worth a try. Maybe if my arms aren't as tired at night, I will be able to juggle him longer.

As for co-sleeping...we tried that in the beginning. It seemed to interrupt my husbands sleep and I didn't seem to sleep more. Here is why- I still had to change him and burp him. Plus if he didn't burp or fall right back to sleep he would fuss for a little while and I would have to get up anyway. Any suggestions there, because I am willing to try again...plus I can always sleep in the guest room with him. He does seem to co-sleeplonger if he is between my body and my arm, but that concerns me at night because I am sleeping more soundly and he might get too warm...always wakes from a nap in this position soaking wet with sweat.

What is the dummy that was mentioned?? That sounds interesting.

Thank you again for your help/suggestions!!

[RedheadbyChoice]

A dummy is just another name for a pacifier.

[USAFeyez06]

My daughter was like this... she ended up having multiple food allergies and the true symptoms reared their ugly heads around 2 months.

I would feed as often as your little one wants, even if it's just to comfort nurse at times, right now. Comforting nursing is hard on mom, but that will ease up with age as well. Babies have a natural instinct to suck... so it's comforting... and what better place than mamma!

The baby carriers worked awesome for us (I used the Jeep one). Within a few minutes of being in there and walking around, she would fall asleep. I also found that musical, light up crib toys worked well for when you needed a couple minutes to yourself. They would keep her entertained for longer than a minute. We use the fisher price ocean one. We also bought a Tiny Tots mobile that plays music and lights up for 20 minutes. That works wonders, too.

My dd is still a pretty high needs baby even with all food allergy problems fixed, although the older and more mobile she gets (she's almost 6 and half months) the better she is getting. She is very stubborn and hot tempered to this day. I still use the carrier on shopping trips because she still gets mad while in the car seat/stroller some days. She will rarely fall asleep in the stroller on walks, like most babies. She is also still being swaddled for nap times and bed, and is showing no signs of giving that up any time soon.

Don't expect the high needs attitude to go away, it will just change over time... but it will ease up, I promise. Keep your head up and hang in there mamma!

[Brianna]

:hug: IMHO, those first few months are the most difficult. You are adjusting to being a mom, and baby is adjusting to life on the outside. Hang in there. Do you have anyone who can help you with house chores, cooking, ect.