Tantrums

[HummingBird]

I really like this forum! DD will be two soon and I think we've hit the trantrum stage.

She'll be enjoying an activity. Example, today we were coloring w/markers, paints and crayons (I should have taken a pic of her all covered in colors, next time). I gave her a count down, 10 minutes, 5 minutes - wash up for dinner. At every update she would freak out and say NO, NO, NO. As predicted when it was time to clean up for dinner she freaked out. She gets all stiff goes into fetal position on the floor - eventually I was able to clean her up and get her to dinner. Same thing during bath, warnings about time, freak out when I start the drain and get her out.

How long does this stage last?!?? It happens everywhere, out to dinner, church - I love toddlers :) But this passes right? Is there anything else I can do but give her the time status then deal with the screaming?

[SingingMom]

Some kids really don't handle transitions well. It sounds like that's a problem for your kiddo.

It does pass, no matter what you do or don't do. But you can try some things.

You can try a "Work on it later" place. You make a special place- an envelope, or a drawer, or a bin, for things for working on some more later. Some kids are able to transition out of an activity more easily if they feel like they can come back to it later.

You can try walking away from her while she freaks out on the floor. Just walk away and find something interesting to do. You don't get angry, you don't even look interested (this takes some practice). You just send the message "I don't find that interesting." This is called planned ignoring. It works for some kids, and not for others.

Some kids do better with a pretty rigid routine. They transition better if you do it the same way, the same time, every day.

Your baby is still pretty young. You may have to just take the colors away and listen to the screaming.

You can also try redirection. Take the colors away and give her a toy she likes. You may have to have several toys- one you use especially for getting to dinner, one you use just for the car, and so on. You can have toys you only use for each time of day or activity.

Good luck. My fifteen month old is like this also. Nothing I've found works really well with her, but she stops screaming pretty quickly.

[Jmom1010]

My son is 2.5 and transitions are still hard and I predict that they will be for a while now. I too give warnings and sometimes use a timmer since DS understand when the microwave goes "ding" something happens. I also try to give him a line up. For instance I wanted to take him for a walk and he wanted to play outside and he needed a new diaper. So I said to him "this is what mommy and you are doing, first mommy is going to change your diaper, then we are going bye bye for a walk to the waterfall, then when we get home we are going to play outside until daddy comes home." Sometimes that helps. You may want to remind what is coming up say after dinner and make it something fun or at least something you can do in a fun or silly way. Do you offer choices for your activities? Are you concise and concrete about what they are? And limited in number? I try to keep it to one or two things. Do you want to play outside or play with playdough? For example.

[jodyvo]

I like the idea of the later folder. A schedule will work well at this stage. A child will be more lokiley to move on from a preferred task to a non preffered task if they know a preffered task will be coming later.
Try first dinner, then play.
Good luck
Jody

[Jacksmommy]

Jack does this still with new things sometimes. I see the panic he goes through when he thinks I'm going to make him stop a new game. When it's that important, I just give him an extra 15 minutes. It's only 15 minutes, but it means so much to him, and there's nothing in my life that can't wait another 15 minutes.

[Stephanie]

Of course it passes. They become 3 and learn how to negotiate. :)

We are big are reflecting feelings back. "You are upset because you had to stop coloring." What she is feeling, is valid. Sometimes it helps if you just tell her you understand. As for tantrums, we usually just let our kids get it out. If we are in public, I try to move them someplace out of the way. In my opinion, those emotions need to come out and at this point, that is the only way. As they get bigger we work on appropriate ways to handle their anger. Angry dances, telling feelings, alone time, a big hug with mommy or daddy, a special corner with books and blanket are all ways to help kids cope with anger.