crying

[kamala]

I know everyone always says when your baby cries to check for the normal stuff but sometimes you just need to let them cry. I hate just letting her lay there crying like that. I'll check her diaper, feed her burp her but sometimes she still cries. Thats when I'm "suppose" to just let her cry it out. She gets so upset and it makes me feel really bad. I get really antsy and I'm not sure how to handle it. My baby is 11 days old.

Any advice?

[intokermit]

We never let our ds CIO (cry it out). At that age, if they are crying, then there is something wrong. Maybe it is still gas, you just haven't gotten it out. That's to young to even think about letting her just cry. There's something wrong, she doesn't have the words or the ability to tell you what it is.

[kamala]

thank you, i knew it felt wrong letting her cry. but you know how your parents can be. they think the answer to everything is to let them cry it out.

[Stephanie]

We don't let babies cry it out either. We tried a few times, and it just didn't feel right. So we stopped.

They are little for a short time, and new to this world. Babies still need a lot of love and reassurance when they are crying.

[ima062002]

Please don't. Please, please don't listen to ANYONE who tells you that they need to cry by themselves. It jacks up their heart rate; they can even have mini seizures if they work themselves into a frenzy (they don't have debilitating results but they are not a good thing either). Neuroscience tells us that it wires the brain differently if done often. Such babies might not be able to deal well with stress later in life and some even have high blood pressure as adults.

There is a reason why human adults feel bad to hear human babies cry. It's meant to jolt us into helping them to calm down and make their world a peaceful one.

Babies NEVER cry without reason. Just because we are not able to figure out what it is, doesn't mean anything.

Hold your baby momma, rock it, talk to it and help it feel better :).

Many babies have a strong need to be held. Baby cribs and strollers are a very new invention. Not at all what humans did for the 10s of thousands of years we exist.

[SingingMom]

Argh. My MIL and step MIL are big fans of this as well. My step MIL tells me that "It's good for their lungs."

Well, it's not good for MY blood pressure to listen to a baby cry. I pick mine up, nurse her, rock her, carry her in a sling. Whatever it takes. I'm the momma, and that's what I do.

[Jmom1010]

Have you checked your enviroment too? Too hot, too cold, too noisey, too bright? The other side of the coin, maybe your baby just needs you and needs to held tightly and closely, maybe skin to skin? Swaddled? Maybe partially swaddled with hands and/or arms out?

[pixiedust]

Sometimes you've checked everything and they're still crying, but don't let them cry alone. If you've checked everything, try switching positions every 10 min. ex... offer the breast, get up and swing baby in your arms, sit down offer breast, repeat. Don't forget the vacuum and other loud noises, they can calm baby down. Keep listening to your instincts!

[Amy_G_]

at 11 days old, baby is still trying to figure out where the hell they are in this world. their instant rocking, comforting, temperature control, feeding and bowel emptying for the last 9 months is all over. EVERYTHING is scary, and being alone is terrifying.

I would NEVER let an 11 day old baby Cry unattended. There is no reason. Pick your baby up and comfort her. You'll see that what she wants is to be held and comforted, and that is what your instincts are telling you to do.

[kamala]

thanks everyone. you've been so helpful. its hard but i'm doing it. she like to start crying when i sit down to eat or sleep or play warcraft lol. thank god for the boppy pillow!

[Jmom1010]

Do you have a sling? Sounds like you need a break and yet baby needs you so a sling could be a happy medium for both of you.

[steelady]

Other suggestions:

Put the baby bucket (if you have one) on the washer with it on spin cycle (watch the carrier so it doesn't fall off). We lived for the bouncy seat, the only time he would quiet long enough to eat.

Baby wearing (bjorn, sling) was a god send. Our ds needed a lot of tight pressure-swaddling, pushing on a warm body (mom/dad).

[kamala]

i was actually looking at slings online. they are so expensive though and money is so tight. but i really want one. if anyone knows a cheap site that would be great. it gets hard carrying her around and my arms hurt lol. we also just learned how to adjust our bouncer thing so she can lay in it. so maybe that will help lol.

[steelady]

If you are handy, there are ways to make a sling (I'm not handy). Also, there are ways that use knots, rather than a ring sling thingie, to keep the babe close, but I don't recall what they are called.

[kamala]

yea i don't trust myself to make one lol.

this is the best (cheapest) one i have found

http://www.target.com/Hotslings-Baby-Carrier-Hearts/dp/B000PGOJVU/sr=1-2/qid=1211916707/ref=sr_1_2/602-5255878-2212606?ie=UTF8&index=target&field-browse=1038576&rh=k%3Asling%2Cn%3A1038590%2Cp%5F3%3A%240-%2424&page=1

[Peanut1207]

I use a moby wrap, it's basically just a long piece of fabric. The wrapping instructions are at mobywrap.com and you could just get your own fabric at the store. it's honestly the best $40 i spent on baby stuff...baby calms down, your sanity comes back, and your arms are free. I'm still using it 5 months later.

[Jacksmommy]

Never leave your baby to cry. If she cries because you put her down, then pick her up again. What she may need is simply to be close to you. At 11 days old, many babies will cry if you leave them alone in a crib. Mine was always attached to my breast at that age. It was the only way to keep him happy.

[Jmom1010]

Doesn't someone here make slings? Also look for groups around your area, some have loaner slings. We have a "baby wearing" play group in my area and they have a sling exchange.

[monkeysmom]

I have a 5 week old daughter who a lot of people tell me to let her cry it out. I tried it once, last week at bed time, and lasted 10 minutes. I went to get her and she was sweating and panting, and inconsolable. I will never do it again. The 1st week I was home with her, she would constantly cry, and it turned out she was just REALLY hungry!!! I was told she would eat every 2-3 hours, so if she was crying 15 minutes after a feeding ended, I wouldnt feed her, but it turned out thats what she needed. Now, I've figured out that endless crying means she's over tired, so into the swing she goes. If she's not asleep in 10 minutes, I know she wasnt as tired as I thought. My advice, do what your instincts tell you-crying is NOT the only exercise your baby gets. It's not even exercise. I've been reading a really good book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, and I highly recommend it.

[Babyboy]

My mother thinks that my 5 month old fakes crying because he knows that ill jump up and get him. I dont feel like a five month old can manipulate me in to picking him up. My mom tells me to let him cry and i just cant do that. So i just ignore her

[jodyvo]

GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT!!! If it doesn't feel good don't do it!!!
People tell me all the time I need to let my daughter cry. I tell them I may if I ever feel in my heart it is the best solution
Good luck

[velcromom]

I can't stand the saying that "sometimes they just need to cry", babies give many cues and signals before they resort to crying, it is the most intense level of communication they have and not the first thing they try, they don't do it for no reason.

My dd has been soothed many hours by carrying (babywearing). It might be really helpful for you.

The sling with a knot instead of a ring is a rebozo. You can improvise with a piece of cloth, I've done it successfully. Here's a link on how to make your own, if you can do a bit of sewing, but I think it's simpler to just use a length of cloth. http://www.borntolove.com/frugal-column9.html

There are some great instructions on the rebozo at this page (http://www.wrapyourbaby.com/hip%20or%20cradle%20carry.htm)

[Jessie81]

They have a clearance on a sling at target! its 10$ I think- its more like a baby purse... DS loved it when he was little. I dont remember the name and its not on the web but it was black with a toile (sp?) lining.

[leeannie8]

I don't think that babies really need to cry it out ever. Have you checked into the Happiest Baby on the Block program? I did it with my first and it worked miracles.

Some people refer to the first three months of baby's life as the fourth trimester because they are really learning how to adapt to this world, what a big change from where they've been.

I recommend getting a sling or carrier and wearing your baby. Your little one is still so young that it shouldn't be too difficult for you and they tend to really like being held close to mom when they are fussy. I have a Mei Tai, a Baby Bjown, a Moby Wrap and a Peanut Shell sling that I use, my favorite for this age is a sling by far. Good luck!