DH has me freaked out

[DiscoPanda]

He just told me that he thinks the house across the street from us is a grow op.

Now that he said it, I can totally picture it. We've lived here for 2 years, and I can honestly say during that entire time, every single window has been covered. It doesn't really seem that anyone lives there - we've only ever seen a single guy come and go infrequently. There are rarely cars in the driveway.

Last year, it looked like the roof was in very poor repair. The man repaired it and reshingled it himself (my DH suspects that he was afraid to hire a roofing company because they would notice mold damage or the like). The house is generally very poorly maintained. The lawn is a mess, the backyard fence is falling over.

I'm thinking about calling the police or Crimestoppers and making an anonymous report. I don't want to cause trouble for this guy if there really is nothing going on, but I also don't want my kids growing up with a druggie for a neighbour.

WWYD?

[cc1003]

Not to sound naive or anything but what is a grow op? A place that grows marijuana?

If so, is your neighborhood safe otherwise? Like would it be a normal thing to go knock on the door to "meet the neighbor"? I would either do that or definitely report it anonymously. I'm not sure if the police would follow up though without any proof.

[SunnySouth]

I would call anonymously. For sure. If it's nothing, no hard feelings. Here the police welcome calls of this nature. We have big meth lab problems. They run on the news frequently what to look for.

Hope it's all for nothing.

[DiscoPanda]

Yes, our neighbourhood is safe (at least, I think so!). Safe enough that I feel OK about leaving my stroller parked on the driveway without worrying that someone is going to steal it.

It would seem weird to just knock on the door to introduce ourselves, especially since we've been neighbours for 2 years already. I would think it unusual if someone on the street showed up at my door, out of the blue, just to say hi. It's not that sort of neighbourhood.

I just checked the police website, and it said that they take every tip seriously and follow up. I wouldn't expect them to just raid the place and bust the door down, but it sounds like they'd at least investigate a bit. I wonder if they would even have to alert the homeowner that they were looking into things?

(And yes, a grow op is a house that grows marijuana!)

[MrsKitty]

If it is a grow op, what about that in particular is freaking you out?

[DiscoPanda]

If it is a grow op, what about that in particular is freaking you out?

I don't want my kids growing up with drug dealers living across the street.

It's freaking me out because I always thought of our neighbourhood as being very friendly and safe, and now he has me wondering.

[cc1003]

If it is a grow op, what about that in particular is freaking you out?


:confused:

[Crabbie]

I'd be freaking out too!

[hotlama]

If it is a grow op, what about that in particular is freaking you out?

Yeah, at least it's not a meth lab. :confused:

I would be freaked out if a drug house was across the street from me too.

[TuetonicWillow]

What would I do if I were you? Surprisingly, probably nothing.

2 yrs have gone by and you've had no incidents. You haven't seen or heard anything to worry about. Nobody has bothered you or any of the nieghbors on your street. You have no proof whatsoever of any crime going on across the street. You have no eye witnesses to anything. You haven't seen any unsual characters lurking aroudn the house or any unsavory people coming in and out. You have a theory and two years of peaceful experience on this street.

But....if you're worried and truly suspect something illegal, it's totally your right to call your local police and report your suspicions.

I suggest first making sure you can stay anonymous via a Crime Line or Crime Stoppers. I'd only make a report like this under anonymity.

[Elffriend]

I think if they were doing anything illegal over there, they would make more of an effort to have the outside of the house looking well maintained.

Maybe he keeps all the windows covered because he's a nudist and likes his privacy?

[BeachMama]

I agree w/ TW. He's obviously not selling drugs out of his home or else you'd see lots of people coming and going. I'm not saying he's not dealing, but it doesn't seem to be a problem as of now.

Maybe he just suffers from depression.

[BeachMama]

I also would not report anything. I'd just be nosey and spy on him a lot. You don't really have anything to report.

[RedheadbyChoice]

I also would not report anything. I'd just be nosey and spy on him a lot. You don't really have anything to report.


Yes to this. :)

[_MrsC_]

I agree w/ TW. He's obviously not selling drugs out of his home or else you'd see lots of people coming and going. I'm not saying he's not dealing, but it doesn't seem to be a problem as of now.

Maybe he just suffers from depression.

I also agree with TW. It wouldn't worry me.

[bebeisa]

Growing up I used to live in a very nice, upper middle class, well established neighborhood. A group of kids started using drugs and later on started selling it. 2 of those kids were my next door neighbors which I grew up with. It showed me that drugs can really mess up your life. It also showed how much it can hurt your parents emotionally and financially because they ended up selling their house to cover some bond and legal fees for one of the kids. One of them also ended up with brain damage because of some drug he smoked.

My point is that yes, you can call the police. Yes, there might be something going on th although I agree that he is not selling from the house. Yes, they might get him out of there. But whether or not your kids will use drugs or not is based on what you teach them at home because chances are they will be exposed to it sometime during their lifetime.

If I do something it would be because it could affect the value of your house and the people it moves into your neighborhood later on.

[Tweet]

I likely wouldn't do a thing because a) growing pot doesn't freak me out(people do around here legally a lot if times) and b) nothing has happened in the last two years that suggest to me anything sinister is going on.

[Milkyway]

Maybe the guy works out of town alot? I would mind my own business and honestly it freaks me out to think that I may have a neighbor who watches my every move (like you guys are watching your neighbor). Knows when Im home and when Im not who does my home repairs etc. Thats ott imo.

[DiscoPanda]

Maybe the guy works out of town alot? I would mind my own business and honestly it freaks me out to think that I may have a neighbor who watches my every move (like you guys are watching your neighbor). Knows when Im home and when Im not who does my home repairs etc. Thats ott imo.

We don't watch his every move. It's not like I sit at my window, waiting to see when he comes and goes. We've lived here for 2 years and have never had any contact with him at all, because we never see him. To me, that's unusual. Everyone else on the street is friendly.

The only reason we know who did his home repairs is because he had scaffolding up the side of his house for 10 months. It was pretty hard to miss. Just like it's hard to miss the fact that every other house on the street is tidy and well maintained, and that house is a mess. When the lawn is knee-high, that's eye catching IMO.

[Babyhellfire]

I also would not report anything. I'd just be nosey and spy on him a lot. You don't really have anything to report.
pretty much.

[Missymoo]

I likely wouldn't do a thing because a) growing pot doesn't freak me out(people do around here legally a lot if times) and b) nothing has happened in the last two years that suggest to me anything sinister is going on.

ITA with this. Even if he is growing it how do you know it isn't legal for medicinal purposes. I'd just mind my own business if it were me.

[xobehs]

check the electric meter. If it is spinning REAL fast, he has a lot of lights in there. I lived cadi corner to a grow house in college, never realized until it was busted. It was just a grow house, they didn't "live" there. nice!

[nikkicola]

I'd try and cultivate a friendship with the fellow!

[Sleepygirl]

check the electric meter. If it is spinning REAL fast, he has a lot of lights in there. I lived cadi corner to a grow house in college, never realized until it was busted. It was just a grow house, they didn't "live" there. nice!


Are you serious? your asking her to sneak into someone else's property to check their electric meter? that's a little crazy, and a lot stalker.

[EvilAmy]

Maybe the guy works out of town alot? I would mind my own business and honestly it freaks me out to think that I may have a neighbor who watches my every move (like you guys are watching your neighbor). Knows when Im home and when Im not who does my home repairs etc. Thats ott imo.
Oh come on you lived in Utah one time. ;)

[RedheadbyChoice]

Are you serious? your asking her to sneak into someone else's property to check their electric meter? that's a little crazy, and a lot stalker.

No shit, exactly!

[Milkyway]

Oh come on you lived in Utah one time. ;)

Lol..This websight alone has made me a special kind of crazy~ It wasnt until this site that I actually thought other people paid so much attention to strangers!! Seriously I dont pay that much attention to my neighbors unless of course they smog my condo out with crack and yell "im going to kill you up through the air vents" or hang themselves from the rafters..

[Milkyway]

No shit, exactly!


Yes.. Strangely I would call the cops if someone was in my yard checking my meter..But I would not call the cops on someone because they didnt take care of their lawn, did their own home repairs or left their windows covered.

[steelady]

I don't want my kids growing up with drug dealers living across the street.

It's freaking me out because I always thought of our neighbourhood as being very friendly and safe, and now he has me wondering.

Weird, I would be freaking more out about a potential fire getting started than a drug dealer living there.

In CA (where, to the state, pot is legal with an rx), there were many reports about how growers (not state liscenced ones) would buy houses in suburban neighborhoods to decrease the chances of getting caught.

[Tweet]

Me, either,Milky. But, I also wouldn't call if I knew for a fact my neighbors WERE growing marijuana. Now, if people were buying constantly and there were sketchy people doing bad things, *that* would bug me. But just growing ? Nope, can't raise an eyebrow over it.

I have to say, I think it's very weird that so many people would report an unkempt yard and unrepaired windows. What a waste of time for everyone. There isn't a thing going and people would report that? Weird and paranoid,imo.

[RedheadbyChoice]

Yes.. Strangely I would call the cops if someone was in my yard checking my meter..But I would not call the cops on someone because they didnt take care of their lawn, did their own home repairs or left their windows covered.

Me too, Milky.

I avoid mowing, and Farmer Red isn't home often; my yard is frequently overgrown. I really don't give a shit. Seriously. As in KISS MY FAT ASS, NOT A BIG CONCERN TO ME! :D I've got enough on my plate, TYVM, making sure everyone has clean underwear and food that day, the lawn just doesn't ping my radar.

And I'm not dealing or growing. With the farm economy the way it is, though, I wish I were! ;) *TIC*

[Aeonkat]

Mind your own beeswax imo. Your ideas are totally based upon assumptions. I'm surprised you think it is ok to report to the police a bunch of made up hooey. Luckily the constitution protects people from bullshit like this.

[Babyhellfire]

the thread makes me want to mow the yard.(dh is doing it tomorrow-weather permitting)..between our schedules and the crappy electrical storm threats of rain, it hasn't been cut- it was so dry last month we didn't need to.

Our fence is kinda falling-its an old fence,I'd take the whole thing down if my dog would stay in the yard(she won't).
Dh has friends that helped him fixed the small section of the roof yrs back when it got damaged in the hurricanes...
.and I am not one to chat with my neighbors.
:paranoidly peers out the window, to see if people are sneaking around looking at her meter:

[Milkyway]

FYI I wsnt kidding about my special kind of crazy. BF.com is solely responsible for me paranoia..All the CALL CPS and CALL the COPS!! threads over the course of 6 years on this site has made me a paranoid mess.

[xobehs]

Are you serious? your asking her to sneak into someone else's property to check their electric meter? that's a little crazy, and a lot stalker.


um. no. it was a joke.

[catkrazy99]

I've never heard of the term "grow op."

[SingingMom]

If I really suspected that a neighbor was running a marijuana growing operation, I'd report it.

I don't have strong opinions about somebody growing a plant or two for his own use (although he had better keep that stuff away from MY kids.)

But a serious operations is bad news, IMO. That's somebody growing to deal, even if this hypothetical person isn't dealing in your neighborhood. A grow op means drug dealers, and guns, and dangerous people. Not something I want in my neighborhood. And unfortunately, we've had a lot of that in my city. Large, well-financed operations. It's not innocent and it's not safe.

However, you're not describing something that would necessarily hit my radar. The growers here are more careful to maintain unexceptional yards and houses. They don't want people wondering what they're doing.

[QuiltyConscience]

FYI I wsnt kidding about my special kind of crazy. BF.com is solely responsible for me paranoia..All the CALL CPS and CALL the COPS!! threads over the course of 6 years on this site has made me a paranoid mess.

Yeah. I never worried about anybody calling the cops or cps on me until I started reading here. I really had no idea people would call the cops over so many things.

Maybe the neighbor is a truck driver, and is gone a lot. Lots of people do repairs themselves, it save a whole lot of money. And the windows? maybe he's just a typical guy who doesn't care about window treatments and just tacked whatever up over the windows so he can sleep during the day. His lawn may look crappy because he isn't home a lot.

I'm not sure what the police would even do. If I were a cop I would want to get the guy's number and see if he could fix my roof too.

[SingingMom]

Mmm. I could be guilty of this, I guess.

But I live in an area that is slowly recovering from almost slum-hood. So the folks around here used to do stuff that I wouldn't expect folks to tolerate in other neighborhoods. Like there were hookers sauntering down the sidewalks, with their pimps following after them, sometimes in a car, drinking some nasty excuse for a malt beverage.

There were dice games in the street, and people dealing drugs on the corners.

People used to dump stolen cars here.

So a bunch of us started calling the cops about things. The police ran a hooker line, where you could call and complain, and they would come (if they had time) and harass the hookers out of the neighborhood. And neighbor complaints busted several gang houses that are no longer dealing crack.

Nosy people with cameras caught the license plates of those who picked up the car-dumpers.

This is now a much more pleasant neighborhood. The people who live here are maybe a little more inclined to call the cops than is normal, but it has really changed this place. Now there are kids playing basketball in the street, instead of old guys smoking dubious substances and betting.

[QuiltyConscience]

Guilty of what?
I think calling the police on obvious criminal activity is a good idea. Calling because you don't see your neighbor often and don't know what he may be up to, not so much, IMO.

[xobehs]

Mmm. I could be guilty of this, I guess.

But I live in an area that is slowly recovering from almost slum-hood. So the folks around here used to do stuff that I wouldn't expect folks to tolerate in other neighborhoods. Like there were hookers sauntering down the sidewalks, with their pimps following after them, sometimes in a car, drinking some nasty excuse for a malt beverage.

There were dice games in the street, and people dealing drugs on the corners.

People used to dump stolen cars here.

So a bunch of us started calling the cops about things. The police ran a hooker line, where you could call and complain, and they would come (if they had time) and harass the hookers out of the neighborhood. And neighbor complaints busted several gang houses that are no longer dealing crack.

Nosy people with cameras caught the license plates of those who picked up the car-dumpers.

This is now a much more pleasant neighborhood. The people who live here are maybe a little more inclined to call the cops than is normal, but it has really changed this place. Now there are kids playing basketball in the street, instead of old guys smoking dubious substances and betting.
Police presence helps big time.

[Aqua_Diamond]

I don't think a call is warranted based on the observations you provided in your OP. There are many explanations that could prove the situation is different.

One guy comes and goes infrequently - maybe he works two jobs and doesn't have many local family or friends.

He repaird the roof himself - maybe he doesn't have the cash to hire a company to fix it and can do it cheaper himself.

The house is poorly maintained - again, maybe he can't afford to pay for the things it needs for maintenance.

He could have an ex that he has several kids with that he pays child support to, which could be why he works two jobs and can't pay for repairs on his house.
There are a million explanations.
A grow-op is only one.
In addition, I do not think a call is warranted based on what you think could be going on there. If there were more signs, then maybe, but based on the details in the OP, I just do not think so.

[camille97]

check the electric meter. If it is spinning REAL fast, he has a lot of lights in there. I lived cadi corner to a grow house in college, never realized until it was busted. It was just a grow house, they didn't "live" there. nice!

That's a little stalkerish, don'tcha think?


My gawd. I hope some of you are never my neighbors. :p I'd be happy as a pig in the mud to just have neighbors who minded their own fucking business.

I'm so glad I'm moving this week.

[DiscoPanda]

Mind your own beeswax imo. Your ideas are totally based upon assumptions. I'm surprised you think it is ok to report to the police a bunch of made up hooey. Luckily the constitution protects people from bullshit like this.

Maybe it is "made up hooey", but maybe it's not. Sure, the guy might seem like a perfect neighbour because he's quiet and doesn't bother anyone, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Apparently Paul Bernardo seemed like a nice neighbour too.

It's not like I'm going around making things up to cause trouble for people. I've lived here for 2 years and never gave this house a second thought until DH gave me his theory, and it got me wondering. The bottom line is that I just want my neighbourhood to be a safe place for my children to grow up in. That isn't a crime. I don't want my property value to go down the toilet because there's drug activity across the street. That isn't a crime either.

If I did choose to report it, the police certainly aren't going to bust down his door with guns a-blazin'. They'd likely look into it discreetly, and the neighbour would never even know anything was up. The police are there for a reason. That's why we pay taxes. We shouldn't be afraid to call them if we think someone may potentially be breaking the law. If it turns out everything is legit, no harm no foul. If not, the neighbourhood is a better place because of it.

Crimestoppers has a lot of success stories, a lot of them due to "crazies" like me who report this so-called "bullshit".

[Tweet]

Disco, seriously, calling the police because you don't see your neighbor very much and his yard is long and your imagination thinks that he may be growing tons of pot is a really stupid thing to do. It just is. You could very well be right,but there are probably a million other more likely reasons that you do not see him often. Please don't waste people's time and resources over this. Wait for something TO report. This is nuts.

[Tweet]

Wait a minute...you haven't given this a thought for the whole TWO years until your DH had a "theory"? Unfuckingbelievable. Hey, I don't see my neighbor much,either. Maybe he sacrifices small animals . I should report him because after all, it*might* be true.

[DiscoPanda]

Tweet, I know that chances are nothing is going on. I'm not a crazy, irrational person. When DH told me his theory, I got a bit freaked out, and yes, I admit I thought about calling the police and having it looked into. I posted on here because I wasn't sure if that would be an appropriate thing to do, and I wanted other's opinions. I'm not a person who calls the police on a regular basis. :)

I just got a bit defensive when people starting making comments about me stalking my neighbours, being nosy, crazy, and calling the whole idea "bullshit". If you don't think it's appropriate to call the police for this situation, fine, but it's not necessary to make me sound like some kind of lunatic for being concerned about my neighbourhood, that's all.

[Aeonkat]

Tweet, I know that chances are nothing is going on. I'm not a crazy, irrational person. When DH told me his theory, I got a bit freaked out, and yes, I admit I thought about calling the police and having it looked into. I posted on here because I wasn't sure if that would be an appropriate thing to do, and I wanted other's opinions. I'm not a person who calls the police on a regular basis. :)

I just got a bit defensive when people starting making comments about me stalking my neighbours, being nosy, crazy, and calling the whole idea "bullshit". If you don't think it's appropriate to call the police for this situation, fine, but it's not necessary to make me sound like some kind of lunatic for being concerned about my neighbourhood, that's all.

No one is making you sound like a lunatic or nosy, you are doing that all on you own.

NO CRIME IS BEING COMMITTED! Let it go, your kids aren't in danger. Talk about being dramatic.

[BeachMama]

Our old neighbor (who had a nice house) had really tall marijuana plants in the back yard. So tall that the neighbors could see them over the 6 foot high fence! We didn't care, but one of the other neighbors called the police, only to learn that he was growing it legally.

[BeachMama]

No one is making you sound like a lunatic or nosy, you are doing that all on you own.

NO CRIME IS BEING COMMITTED! Let it go, your kids aren't in danger. Talk about being dramatic.

I don't think she sounds like a lunatic. We don't know for sure that no crime is being committed, there is just no reason to suspect that there is.

My question is...what do you tell the police when you call? You think your neighbor is growing marijuana because he is a recluse who doesn't take care of the exterior of his house?

[lolcat]

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/128296828420313750itzokbutmidge.jpg

[Tweet]

Tweet, I know that chances are nothing is going on. I'm not a crazy, irrational person. When DH told me his theory, I got a bit freaked out, and yes, I admit I thought about calling the police and having it looked into. I posted on here because I wasn't sure if that would be an appropriate thing to do, and I wanted other's opinions. I'm not a person who calls the police on a regular basis. :)

I just got a bit defensive when people starting making comments about me stalking my neighbours, being nosy, crazy, and calling the whole idea "bullshit". If you don't think it's appropriate to call the police for this situation, fine, but it's not necessary to make me sound like some kind of lunatic for being concerned about my neighbourhood, that's all.

I don't think you are a lunatic. I *do* think you got freaked out and started letting your imagination getting carried away.Really, there is just no grounds to call. There just isn't.

[tata]

Wait a minute...you haven't given this a thought for the whole TWO years until your DH had a "theory"? Unfuckingbelievable. Hey, I don't see my neighbor much,either. Maybe he sacrifices small animals . I should report him because after all, it*might* be true.
"lol9" I just about peed myself!!!

I'm with the PP who said "Mind your own buisness." Seriously, if he hasn't bothered you, why bother him?

[BeanBabies]

He just told me that he thinks the house across the street from us is a grow op.

Now that he said it, I can totally picture it. We've lived here for 2 years, and I can honestly say during that entire time, every single window has been covered. It doesn't really seem that anyone lives there - we've only ever seen a single guy come and go infrequently. There are rarely cars in the driveway.

Last year, it looked like the roof was in very poor repair. The man repaired it and reshingled it himself (my DH suspects that he was afraid to hire a roofing company because they would notice mold damage or the like). The house is generally very poorly maintained. The lawn is a mess, the backyard fence is falling over.

I'm thinking about calling the police or Crimestoppers and making an anonymous report. I don't want to cause trouble for this guy if there really is nothing going on, but I also don't want my kids growing up with a druggie for a neighbour.

WWYD?

Seriously? I haven't read the thread yet (and I can't wait to see how far off I am) but Holy Overreaction, Batman.

Is your DH a police detective or something?

[BeanBabies]

I'd try and cultivate a friendship with the fellow!
Ba-dum-tsh!

[Tiffers]

I'd take your neighbor over any of mine any day.

[TuetonicWillow]

I really had no idea people would call the cops over so many things.

I know of one police officer locally, a blonde female one as a matter of fact, that was an hour late getting home tonight because a certain citizen well known to local police for her frequent 911 calls made yet another crazy call. Her emergency this time was that her neighbors put out their trash two days early and put it too close to her property line. This warranted a home visit becuase she's been known to get violent with the nieghbors in as far as throwing objects at their home and what not. True to her usual self, she ended up being difficult, spit on a uniformed officer, knocked over the trash can and kicked trash around while yelling about burning down the neighbor's house.

You can't make this stuff up. You would not believe what people call the cops for.....off the top of my head:

store won't accept my return so I need help
aliens are spying on me (as in space aliens)
two unknown teens walked down my street
I lost my car keys ...so I called 911 for help
hooker carrying illegal firearms and meth calls 911 to report a john that won't pay

like I said....you can't make up wierder stuff.

[CatSoup]

I would sneak in and steal weed.



I'm Kidding!! I wouldn't want drug dealers hanging around my neighborhood either. Shady,creepy people. BUT I wouldn't do anything unless I had some real reason to believe that's what was going on.

[tata]

I know of one police officer locally, a blonde female one as a matter of fact, that was an hour late getting home tonight because a certain citizen well known to local police for her frequent 911 calls made yet another crazy call. Her emergency this time was that her neighbors put out their trash two days early and put it too close to her property line. This warranted a home visit becuase she's been known to get violent with the nieghbors in as far as throwing objects at their home and what not. True to her usual self, she ended up being difficult, spit on a uniformed officer, knocked over the trash can and kicked trash around while yelling about burning down the neighbor's house.

You can't make this stuff up. You would not believe what people call the cops for.....off the top of my head:

store won't accept my return so I need help
aliens are spying on me (as in space aliens)
two unknown teens walked down my street
I lost my car keys ...so I called 911 for help
hooker carrying illegal firearms and meth calls 911 to report a john that won't pay

like I said....you can't make up wierder stuff.
BIL is a cop. He's got some good stories.

[Aeonkat]

I don't think she sounds like a lunatic. We don't know for sure that no crime is being committed, there is just no reason to suspect that there is.

My question is...what do you tell the police when you call? You think your neighbor is growing marijuana because he is a recluse who doesn't take care of the exterior of his house?


I didn't say she did, she called herself one, not anyone here so that is all on her.

[BeachMama]

is growing marijuana because he is a recluse who doesn't take care of the exterior of his house?


I didn't say she did, she called herself one, not anyone here so that is all on her.



I think I misread the tone of this post:
No one is making you sound like a lunatic or nosy, you are doing that all on you own.


.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'm going to post without reading the other replies. I think you're being paranoid. Perhaps the man is just a loner. It seems to me that if he were a drug dealer, there would be traffic in and out--not hardly ever a car in the driveway as you said.

Basically, I wouldn't mess with the man. IMO, the stories you and your dh have thought up about this man aren't enough evidence to cause problems for him.

Now I'll read the other replies.

[JudyJudyJudy]

It also irritates me that your husband assumes that he repaired his own roof because he was afraid the workers would see mold. Perhaps he couldn't afford to pay anyone else, or perhaps he simply didn't want to spend money on something he could do himself.

[JudyJudyJudy]

Yeah. I never worried about anybody calling the cops or cps on me until I started reading here. I really had no idea people would call the cops over so many things.
ITA. We're nightowls here; there's no telling what the neighbors think of us. I know when we first moved in, the neighbor across the street jokingly told her kids that we were vampires. I'm glad she didn't come up with something else and call the cops on us instead.

[JudyJudyJudy]

That's a little stalkerish, don'tcha think?


My gawd. I hope some of you are never my neighbors. :p I'd be happy as a pig in the mud to just have neighbors who minded their own fucking business.

I'm so glad I'm moving this week.
Move near me! We'd love each other! :D

[JudyJudyJudy]

Maybe it is "made up hooey", but maybe it's not. Sure, the guy might seem like a perfect neighbour because he's quiet and doesn't bother anyone, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Apparently Paul Bernardo seemed like a nice neighbour too.

It's not like I'm going around making things up to cause trouble for people. I've lived here for 2 years and never gave this house a second thought until DH gave me his theory, and it got me wondering. The bottom line is that I just want my neighbourhood to be a safe place for my children to grow up in. That isn't a crime. I don't want my property value to go down the toilet because there's drug activity across the street. That isn't a crime either.

If I did choose to report it, the police certainly aren't going to bust down his door with guns a-blazin'. They'd likely look into it discreetly, and the neighbour would never even know anything was up. The police are there for a reason. That's why we pay taxes. We shouldn't be afraid to call them if we think someone may potentially be breaking the law. If it turns out everything is legit, no harm no foul. If not, the neighbourhood is a better place because of it.

Crimestoppers has a lot of success stories, a lot of them due to "crazies" like me who report this so-called "bullshit".
Chances are that real criminals would be very careful, and you'd never suspect them.

[Sunnie]

It also irritates me that your husband assumes that he repaired his own roof because he was afraid the workers would see mold. Perhaps he couldn't afford to pay anyone else, or perhaps he simply didn't want to spend money on something he could do himself.

or perhaps he likes to do the work himself. Or he could even be a roofer.

Jeez.

[Mary_Mary]

Personally I would just call the cops, voice your concerns (perhaps there's some ordinance that says you have to keep your lawn mowed) and let it go. You'll have alerted someone to your suspicions and the cops will either be interested or not.

You will be able to STOP wondering what the deal is and get on with your life.

My concern would be that if there IS any drug activity going on, just because nothing has happened in 2 years doesn't mean that things couldn't change. Just because he's the only guy who ever shows up doesn't mean that someone couldn't follow him there next time he makes an appearance.

[Tweet]

It also irritates me that your husband assumes that he repaired his own roof because he was afraid the workers would see mold. Perhaps he couldn't afford to pay anyone else, or perhaps he simply didn't want to spend money on something he could do himself.

And perhaps he knows how to do it and figures why waste money when he can do it? Like my husband.

[Tweet]

Personally I would just call the cops, voice your concerns (perhaps there's some ordinance that says you have to keep your lawn mowed) and let it go. You'll have alerted someone to your suspicions and the cops will either be interested or not.

You will be able to STOP wondering what the deal is and get on with your life.

My concern would be that if there IS any drug activity going on, just because nothing has happened in 2 years doesn't mean that things couldn't change. Just because he's the only guy who ever shows up doesn't mean that someone couldn't follow him there next time he makes an appearance.


What?! Call the cops because someone has an overactive imagination and thinks *maybe* he might grow pot? Man, I feel sorry for that man. He hasn't done a damn thing wrong and you paranoid people want to call the police on him! This infuriates me. Wtf is wrong with you??
Idiotic.

I hope to hell I never have neighbors like some of you. This is beyond ridiciclous.

[chickabiddy]

Tweet tweets the truth.

[TuetonicWillow]

"Hello, police? I'd like to report a crime. My neighbor of two years is rarely home, we never even see him and he repaired his own roof. And he keeps his windows covered. I think it's a major drug thing going on because the other day my husband told me he thought it was a grow op and I have nothign better to do with my time than worry about nieghbors that never bother me and to occupy myself I thought I'd get a man I don't know into a world of shit by accusing him of being a drug dealer or supplier. So are you going to raid him now? I'd like to know so I can set out the lawn chairs and watch it unfold....since I obviously have nothing better to do."

[steelady]

You know, these situations always make me uncomfortable.

Do we, as a society, want to be those who look after each other or keep our heads down and hope nothing bad will happen?

I don't know the answer. Sometimes I think we take privacy too far sometimes. Maybe not in this situation, but I wonder at what point it is "ok" (socially acceptable) to report something suspicious? How would everyone feel, here, if we then read a story about a house that burned down because of poor wiring (my concern with a grow house, more so than dealing or shady characters) and someone is quoted as saying "well, I was suspicious because he was never home and had black out curtains closed all the time"? Would our outrage change if a child was killed in the house next door? Truly, I don't know the answer.

Which also makes me wonder if law enforcement (local, state, federal) are as annoyed as some of us when the "threat" level changes (that hasn't happened in a while, has it?) or everyone is told to report suspicious behaviors.

[RedheadbyChoice]

Which also makes me wonder if law enforcement (local, state, federal) are as annoyed as some of us when the "threat" level changes (that hasn't happened in a while, has it?) or everyone is told to report suspicious behaviors.

I feel where you're coming from, Steel. Living in an uber small town, folks do keep tabs on one another. And for the most part, that's comforting. I think the law enforcement here is fairly tolerant of the 'regular Joe/Jane' observations. I've spoken with the sheriff (when we had issues with kids vandalizing in the park, which is essentially my front yard) and he did make me feel comfortable to call him with anything I found that was out of the ordinary.

There's nothing in the OP that I'd qualify as suspicious behavior.

[Bohemian]

Wow some of you have been really cruel and mean to the op. I see a wwyd in the op and what do you think about all this and not a "I'm going to go call the cops this minute because my neighbor is a druggie!!!" (which some of you are acting like the op has said)

I personally don't see anything suspicious enough to call the cops in the op but I don't think it's weird/lunatic/stalker/busybody/don't have a life to be observant and pay attention to what's going on in your neighborhood either. We live in a nice neighborhood that is well kept both house and landscaping and it would be impossible not to notice a house that wasn't being kept up with overgrown grass, and had all the windows blacked out. While I wouldn't think much of it beyond thinking it's an eyesore for the neighborhood or possibly uninhabited, I definitely notice it.

[TuetonicWillow]

I do think it's stalkerish to go on his property to keep tabs on his electric meter.

[TuetonicWillow]

FTR- anyone in my yard reading my meters better have proof of employment with the city/state power agencies. If not, I issue my own warning. Second time, I call for a marked car and I file a trespassing charge.

[camille97]

Wow some of you have been really cruel and mean to the op. I see a wwyd in the op and what do you think about all this and not a "I'm going to go call the cops this minute because my neighbor is a druggie!!!" (which some of you are acting like the op has said)

I personally don't see anything suspicious enough to call the cops in the op but I don't think it's weird/lunatic/stalker/busybody/don't have a life to be observant and pay attention to what's going on in your neighborhood either. We live in a nice neighborhood that is well kept both house and landscaping and it would be impossible not to notice a house that wasn't being kept up with overgrown grass, and had all the windows blacked out. While I wouldn't think much of it beyond thinking it's an eyesore for the neighborhood or possibly uninhabited, I definitely notice it.

She ISN'T being observant. "lol9" Her dh planted a seed and now she's running with it. The thread is titled, "Dh has me freaked out". She admits to it never crossing her mind until her dh mentioned his "theory". Sounds to me like she's letting her overactive imagination get the best of her. The guy is probably a hermit and doesn't like nosy neighbors.

Additionally, if the guy was a dealer, there would be traffic coming and going (even if it's only him leaving to transport).

[TuetonicWillow]

The man has occupied or at least owned that home for at least two years that we know of based on the OP. In that time, nothing has come up to cause concern or alarm. he is quiet, seldom home, he has his windows covered which is odd but not a crime, he doesn't interact with anyone, nothing unusual as far as foot traffic or visitors. And eh fixed his own roof. lol

How can you now see the insanity of jumping to "call the police to report a major drug thing"?

There is ZERO evidence to suggest the liklihood of this home being a grow op. Zero.

[Tulip]

I don't want my kids growing up with drug dealers living across the street.

It's freaking me out because I always thought of our neighbourhood as being very friendly and safe, and now he has me wondering.

I'm not advocating that you don't call the cops. However, if drug deals were going done at this house there would be *a lot* of traffic at all hours of the day and night. People would actually live in the house.

That's very different from a grow op - it sounds almost deserted from what you described above.

By all means call the cops and have them investigate it. Growing drugs is illegal in all states except California - limited to 6 marijuana plants for each registered grower - but even that can vary by city.

[Bohemian]

I do think it's stalkerish to go on his property to keep tabs on his electric meter.


I agree but I don't see where the op suggested that is what she intends to do. It was suggested to her by Shebox and she clarified that it was a joke/tic, right? I see the op getting slammed and I think it's undeserved and cruel.

[nikkicola]

That isn't correct info, Tulip.

[Tulip]

We don't watch his every move. It's not like I sit at my window, waiting to see when he comes and goes. We've lived here for 2 years and have never had any contact with him at all, because we never see him. To me, that's unusual. Everyone else on the street is friendly.

The only reason we know who did his home repairs is because he had scaffolding up the side of his house for 10 months. It was pretty hard to miss. Just like it's hard to miss the fact that every other house on the street is tidy and well maintained, and that house is a mess. When the lawn is knee-high, that's eye catching IMO.

Sounds like he's guilty of covering his windows and not being social with his neighbors. Is that really a reason to call the police?

I have all my windows covered and 'm not social with my neighbors either. Maybe I should be worried one of them is going to call the cops on me.

Seriously, if it's the house maintenance that is annoying you then look into your HOA by laws or even your city ordinances to see if he's violating them. If so, then go through the proper channels to get him to comply with a nice tidy yard and upkeep on the house.

[Tulip]

That isn't correct info, Tulip.

Which part? That a drug dealing operation wouldn't have a lot of traffic or that a grow house would have less traffic?

[nikkicola]

That growing pot is illegal everywhere except for CA. Thank goodness!

[Bohemian]

I don't think a major drug dealing operation has to have a lot of traffic. Yes, that's an obvious tell tale sign but some are more careful. Their drugs go out in large quantities to a "few" people and those people in turn sell them on the street or to their friends. It can be branched out enough to avoid traffic and suspicion.

Also don't forget how some have set up meth labs in their apartments and are well known by their neighbors but still the neighbors haven't a clue that was what they were up to until the place blew up. There is no guarantee that you're going to be able to spot a drug dealer/drug house/grow house by a few common signs. Some people are really careful to avoid the stereotypes.

[Bohemian]

And no, I'm not a clever drug dealer, nor do I know any personally but I do have 3 family members in the So Ca law enforcement scene. I'm not at liberty to reveal specific job descriptions.

[Mary_Mary]

What?! Call the cops because someone has an overactive imagination and thinks *maybe* he might grow pot? Man, I feel sorry for that man. He hasn't done a damn thing wrong and you paranoid people want to call the police on him! This infuriates me. Wtf is wrong with you??
Idiotic.

I hope to hell I never have neighbors like some of you. This is beyond ridiciclous.

So 15 years ago you think it was 'ridiculous' for the cops to come to my house and question me about whether or not I thought my (soon to be) ex-husband was a drug dealer based on the fact that he has his pilots license, has been known to break the law, and was friends with someone that was rumored to be a drug dealer?

And, for the record, I DIDN'T think that he was a drug dealer, but I DO think that the cops were right to follow up on something that they had obviously already invested a lot of time in...considering that they actually sought me out and asked me the questions...it wasn't just a random thing.

Who can say if the cops might not ALREADY have their eye on this guy in some way but just can't justify watching his house. I think that if I were the cops and could get information from someone who was in a position to NOTICE things that were potentially useful I'd be glad of a chance to get that information.

[Sunnie]

Mary, I actually do think that was ridiculous that your ex was questioned if that was all the "evidence" they had.

[Mary_Mary]

Mary, I actually do think that was ridiculous that your ex was questioned if that was all the "evidence" they had.

I don't know if they ever questioned HIM...it was ME that they questioned to see if I had any useful information for them.

Thing is, I actually DON'T KNOW what other information they had that led them to think that I might have information ABOUT him that might be useful to them.

[Tweet]

I'm not advocating that you don't call the cops. However, if drug deals were going done at this house there would be *a lot* of traffic at all hours of the day and night. People would actually live in the house.

That's very different from a grow op - it sounds almost deserted from what you described above.

By all means call the cops and have them investigate it. Growing drugs is illegal in all states except California - limited to 6 marijuana plants for each registered grower - but even that can vary by city.

Sorry but that isn't true. It is legal to grow in Oregon if you have permission to do so for medical purposes.

And where is there *any* evidence that this poor man is doing any such fucking thing? Here is ALL the OP knows.

1. She rarely sees him
2. He fixed his own roof
3. His grass is long
4. He has windows that need repairing.

That's it, people.With the exception of broken windows, that describes quite a few people in my own neighborhood.

[Tweet]

"Hello, police? I'd like to report a crime. My neighbor of two years is rarely home, we never even see him and he repaired his own roof. And he keeps his windows covered. I think it's a major drug thing going on because the other day my husband told me he thought it was a grow op and I have nothign better to do with my time than worry about nieghbors that never bother me and to occupy myself I thought I'd get a man I don't know into a world of shit by accusing him of being a drug dealer or supplier. So are you going to raid him now? I'd like to know so I can set out the lawn chairs and watch it unfold....since I obviously have nothing better to do."


lol
I'm just imagining the look on their faces when they receive such a phone call.

[JudyJudyJudy]

You know, these situations always make me uncomfortable.

Do we, as a society, want to be those who look after each other or keep our heads down and hope nothing bad will happen?

I don't know the answer. Sometimes I think we take privacy too far sometimes. Maybe not in this situation, but I wonder at what point it is "ok" (socially acceptable) to report something suspicious?
Truly suspicious is one thing, but I fail to see where this person has done anything to warrant suspicion. To answer your other question, I do think we should err on the side of privacy rather than fucking with someone when there is no evidence that something wrong has been done.

[Tweet]

You know, these situations always make me uncomfortable.

Do we, as a society, want to be those who look after each other or keep our heads down and hope nothing bad will happen?

I don't know the answer. Sometimes I think we take privacy too far sometimes. Maybe not in this situation, but I wonder at what point it is "ok" (socially acceptable) to report something suspicious? How would everyone feel, here, if we then read a story about a house that burned down because of poor wiring (my concern with a grow house, more so than dealing or shady characters) and someone is quoted as saying "well, I was suspicious because he was never home and had black out curtains closed all the time"? Would our outrage change if a child was killed in the house next door? Truly, I don't know the answer.

Which also makes me wonder if law enforcement (local, state, federal) are as annoyed as some of us when the "threat" level changes (that hasn't happened in a while, has it?) or everyone is told to report suspicious behaviors.


I think it's important to be aware. And to me, I think there is a HUGE difference in being aware and keeping your eyes open and calling the police with NOTHING to report. I don't think we as a society should stick our heads in the sand and pretend nothing bad could happen. But I also think that living in a state of constant fear and imagining all sorts of illegal things is not healthy.

Boho, I'm not trying to be raving bitch to the OP or anyone who is encouraging her. It does,however, piss me off royally when people waste resources, which I absolutely think she would be doing. They(the police) are there for a reason..there is no good reason to waste their time because the OP's husband wondered out loud if the man was growing weed.

By all means, keep your eyes and ears open. It doesn't need to go any further than that UNLESS something else is going on. Which there isn't.

[Tweet]

So 15 years ago you think it was 'ridiculous' for the cops to come to my house and question me about whether or not I thought my (soon to be) ex-husband was a drug dealer based on the fact that he has his pilots license, has been known to break the law, and was friends with someone that was rumored to be a drug dealer?

And, for the record, I DIDN'T think that he was a drug dealer, but I DO think that the cops were right to follow up on something that they had obviously already invested a lot of time in...considering that they actually sought me out and asked me the questions...it wasn't just a random thing.

Who can say if the cops might not ALREADY have their eye on this guy in some way but just can't justify watching his house. I think that if I were the cops and could get information from someone who was in a position to NOTICE things that were potentially useful I'd be glad of a chance to get that information.


I wasn't talking about what happened with you 15 yearsago. I was commenting and you encouraging the OP to call the police on her neighbor. Your situation is nothing at all like what the OP is talking about. Not even close..she doesn't know a thing about him ,let alone if he's got a criminal record or who he's friend's with.

[topamicha]

Boho, I'm not trying to be raving bitch to the OP or anyone who is encouraging her. It does,however, piss me off royally when people waste resources, which I absolutely think she would be doing. They(the police) are there for a reason..there is no good reason to waste their time because the OP's husband wondered out loud if the man was growing weed.

Yep.

And people wonder why the police don't respond on time.

[JudyJudyJudy]

Yep.

And people wonder why the police don't respond on time.
Exactly. While some are worried that there might be some guy out there who is growing a little pot, I'm much more concerned about the woman who is about to be killed by her boyfriend. I'd hate like hell to know that I drew valuable resources to situation #1 and away from situation #2.

[Tweet]

Exactly. While some are worried that there might be some guy out there who is growing a little pot, I'm much more concerned about the woman who is about to be killed by her boyfriend. I'd hate like hell to know that I drew valuable resources to situation #1 and away from situation #2.


Exactly. That could be taking away precious time from someone in a crisis.

[Bohemian]

Boho, I'm not trying to be raving bitch to the OP or anyone who is encouraging her. It does,however, piss me off royally when people waste resources, which I absolutely think she would be doing. They(the police) are there for a reason..there is no good reason to waste their time because the OP's husband wondered out loud if the man was growing weed.



I didn't think you were being a raving bitch Tweet and I don't have issues with others that got upset or irritated with the op over something they feel is OTT. I took issue with the name calling and the posts that were making fun of the op just to be mean. I think your posts have been sensible and I agree with them.

[Bohemian]

Exactly. While some are worried that there might be some guy out there who is growing a little pot, I'm much more concerned about the woman who is about to be killed by her boyfriend. I'd hate like hell to know that I drew valuable resources to situation #1 and away from situation #2.


Except those two situations aren't going to draw the same response.

An anonymous report made for suspected drug dealing isn't going to bring the police, sirens blaring to this guy's door to bust it down. A woman about to be killed by her boyfriend is going to bring exactly that.

If the police felt the need to check out this guy they are going to do it when they aren't busy attending someone that needs help immediately. Cops do have down time. If they go knock on this guy's door to check him out and something that takes priority comes over the line, they are going to drop that and go take care of the priority situation. Much the same as if they were having lunch and a priority call came in.

Now if the argument was that this anon report was taking time away from a legitimate drug investigation, it might hold water.

It should also be noted that a call to the cops about a girl about to me murdered is going to be handled by the cops on patrol, currently on duty. Someone checking out this anon report may be a detective that isn't out on patrol.

[JudyJudyJudy]

It depends on the town. In small towns especially, it might very well pull the resources away. If they go to check this out "when they're not busy," it sucks if they're then really needed on the other side of the county.

As for detectives, in some areas detectives handle drug situations as well as trying to get enough evidence for child molestation charges. I'd rather the time be spent on the latter instead of wasted on someone's husband's theory.

[Tweet]

Maybe the dude has agoraphobia. That actually could be very likely. I just think it's crappy to be calling the cops and having them go over to check this guy on it based solely on someone's imagination getting carried away. Can you imagine how it would make that man feel to have the police show up at his door? Good grief.

[Ilovemonkeys]

I miss having neighbors to spy on. That was a fun hobby. Esp. at 3 a.m. when I couldn't sleep. Just me, a good infomercial and dog lady, dog guy, bmw people, crazy dog lady, walking lady, tall indian guy, Mr. Miagi, Colombian fireworks guy, drunk cheater guy, skater guy. Good times.

[Bohemian]

I suppose if you lined up all the circumstances just so there are indeed scenarios where this anon report could take away from something more serious. That isn't going to be some hard fast rule or represent what is actually going to happen as a regular occurrence.

Also if a detective is on a serious case and investigating, he will interview all the people he needs to see first and then, when and if he has time, he will investigate the anon report. Just because someone reports something doesn't mean a detective jumps to do it. He can put it on the back burner until time and resources deem it possible to check into.

In any caseload there will be priority that are taken care of first. Much like a hospital ER.

[JudyJudyJudy]

Once again, though, the biggest point is what in the hell has this man done to deserve to be fucked with by the cops or anyone else?

[Bohemian]

Nothing. I never said otherwise. In fact I've said from my first post in this thread that I don't think anything in the op warrants a call or an anon report to the police.

I do think it's wrong to assume though that just because an anon report is given that it will automatically be given priority over molestation cases or over people in dire immediate need because it wouldn't. (Unless it's a small town and all the circumstances are just so and things happen at exactly the same time...)

[JudyJudyJudy]

It's not a matter of giving priority. In most areas, resources are already limited. Why not save them for important things, not bullshit like this?

[Bohemian]

I agree. I don't think the op should call. The best thing to do is make sure that people are educated in crime prevention and learn about what is actually suspicious behavior.

I do think there are too many unjustified police and cps reports. Even if a particular report doesn't impact another more serious report, it's still wasted time. Time that could be used to teach another or working on prevention programs and the like.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I think we're in agreement.

[SingingMom]

You know what I would do? Go mow the guy's lawn for him. Okay, I'd probably introduce myself first.

[DiscoPanda]

It's not a matter of giving priority. In most areas, resources are already limited. Why not save them for important things, not bullshit like this?

This response upsets me.

All I did was ask a question. After my DH mentioned to me his theory, I googled "grow op", and found this house meets about 75% of the criteria for one, so I started to get concerned. I don't think that is an unreasonable reaction. If there were something illegal going on, I certainly feel it is my responsibility as a member of my community to report it, but like I said in my original post, I don't want to cause a stir for nothing. I've never been in a situation like this, and I don't know when a suspicion would warrant a call to the authorities, and when it would inappropriate so I asked for your opinions on what you would do.

Why do we have posters calling my question bullshit? I haven't done anything but ask a question, and instead of getting simple "Yes, that would be OTT" replies, I'm getting profanity. Nice. After reading the whole thread, it seems that I'm a nutcase, calling the police because my neighbour doesn't mow his lawn, and that isn't the case AT ALL.

And let's be honest: If I did call the police, I can guarantee they aren't going to come busting down this guy's door, while I sit on my porch with a bowl of popcorn watching all the action, while at the same time some poor child on the other side of the city is being murdered/raped/tortured because the cop is responding to my "bullshit". If I did report it, a) it's not going to be a high priority, and b) more than likely the cops would investigate discreetly and this man would never even know that someone had called the police on him.

[DiscoPanda]

You know what I would do? Go mow the guy's lawn for him. Okay, I'd probably introduce myself first.

:roflol:

[JudyJudyJudy]

I didn't say your question was bullshit. I said that calling on something like this is bullshit.

[steelady]

Come on, Panda, are you really surprised at how this thread went? You are truly shocked that someone responded with profanity?

[DiscoPanda]

Come on, Panda, are you really surprised at how this thread went? You are truly shocked that someone responded with profanity?

To tell the truth, yeah, I am a bit surprised.

I know some posters will reply with profanity when people ask ridiculous questions, but to me, this wasn't ridiculous. To me, it was a potentially serious situation that I was truly worried about. It's not like I just thought "Hey, this guy didn't mow his lawn. Let's report him for growing weed in his house".

[RedheadbyChoice]

To tell the truth, yeah, I am a bit surprised.

I know some posters will reply with profanity when people ask ridiculous questions, but to me, this wasn't ridiculous. To me, it was a potentially serious situation that I was truly worried about. It's not like I just thought "Hey, this guy didn't mow his lawn. Let's report him for growing weed in his house".

I'm surprised that you're surprised.

Hell, eating is a potentially serious situation. "thcatfight" I think many (including myself) are simply saying that what you described in the OP would not be cause for concern for them. Not to mention the shitstorm it could cause for the neighbor.

I'm known, on occasion, to yell at my kids. Yep, I said it. And I'm not even wearing a flame-suit, so have at me. And yes, yelling at your kids can be a sign of abuse. Should a neighbor, based on that and that he's seen me exasperated with my kids, then call CPS?

I'm going with no, because the occasional loud word and exasperated momma does not equal a child abuser and doesn't warrant CPS sticking their nose up my ass. Just as the neighbor you mentioned doesn't automatically mean that there is anything shady going on over there.

[tata]

*gasp*

Red yells at her kids?!?!?!??!!???!!! I figured you'd just flounce away ;)

[JudyJudyJudy]

DiscoPanda, FWIW, I never addressed you with "profanity." I answered your question and then got involved with the rest of the conversation that ensued.

[DiscoPanda]

I'm surprised that you're surprised.

Hell, eating is a potentially serious situation. "thcatfight" I think many (including myself) are simply saying that what you described in the OP would not be cause for concern for them. Not to mention the shitstorm it could cause for the neighbor.

I'm known, on occasion, to yell at my kids. Yep, I said it. And I'm not even wearing a flame-suit, so have at me. And yes, yelling at your kids can be a sign of abuse. Should a neighbor, based on that and that he's seen me exasperated with my kids, then call CPS?

I'm going with no, because the occasional loud word and exasperated momma does not equal a child abuser and doesn't warrant CPS sticking their nose up my ass. Just as the neighbor you mentioned doesn't automatically mean that there is anything shady going on over there.

I get that what I described in the OP wouldn't be a cause for concern for the majority of people. I truly do. I'm less worried about it after reading all these posts, but I'm still a bit concerned that *maybe* something is going on. You just never know.

To use your example, yes, yelling at your kids could be a sign of abuse. Most cases are like you described - an exasperated, tired, overworked mother having a bad day, and not a real instance of child abuse. But I'm sure that some mothers who yell at their children in public DO abuse their kids. Just because the vast majority are nothing more than a tired mother shouting doesn't mean it's OK to automatically write off every instance of a child being yelled at as "bullshit". Sometimes it *is* serious. Like I said, you just never know.

I guess that was the point I was trying to make in my OP. Where do you draw the line? When does something go from being a mere concern to being something that the authorities should be involved with? You'd hate to turn a blind eye to a potentially hazardous situation just because you might be wrong, but on the other hand, you don't want to cause unnecessary trouble either.

[topamicha]

I get that what I described in the OP wouldn't be a cause for concern for the majority of people. I truly do. I'm less worried about it after reading all these posts, but I'm still a bit concerned that *maybe* something is going on. You just never know.

To use your example, yes, yelling at your kids could be a sign of abuse. Most cases are like you described - an exasperated, tired, overworked mother having a bad day, and not a real instance of child abuse. But I'm sure that some mothers who yell at their children in public DO abuse their kids. Just because the vast majority are nothing more than a tired mother shouting doesn't mean it's OK to automatically write off every instance of a child being yelled at as "bullshit". Sometimes it *is* serious. Like I said, you just never know.

Something is *maybe* going on with every single person on my block. Every single person I meet even. There always *might* be criminal activity going on. You can never rule it out, and if you try hard enough, you can always construe someone's behavior as suspicious (gee, that guy is charming and handsome and intelligent, I bet he's a serial killer! I don't know for sure that he isn't, so I'm going to call the police).

When there are multiple, consistent warning signs, I think it's appropriate to get the authorities involved. When the mom yells, and the kid is covered in bruises, and I've heard her threaten the kid, then I think it merits a call. Same thing with suspected drug activity. People listed a whole bunch of signs that could indicate a "grow op."

[still_me]

I can tell you that if the roof had mold that wouldn't be an ideal place to grow pot. You don't want mold on your plants....Just a heads up. That should help eliminate that idea for you.

If you feel that this is serious enough to report just please make sure that you have concrete evidence. What if his job finds out that the cops are investigating him? He could loose his job over something that isn't even true or his crazy ex wife (hypothetical) could use this as "proof" he isn't safe for their children to be around. A lot could come out of this that would/could change this guy's life just because of a "theory".

[chickabiddy]

I guess that was the point I was trying to make in my OP. Where do you draw the line? When does something go from being a mere concern to being something that the authorities should be involved with? You'd hate to turn a blind eye to a potentially hazardous situation just because you might be wrong, but on the other hand, you don't want to cause unnecessary trouble either.

You'd need more than a guy living alone and fixing his own roof but not caring all that much about landscaping.

[RedheadbyChoice]

I get that what I described in the OP wouldn't be a cause for concern for the majority of people. I truly do. I'm less worried about it after reading all these posts, but I'm still a bit concerned that *maybe* something is going on. You just never know.

To use your example, yes, yelling at your kids could be a sign of abuse. Most cases are like you described - an exasperated, tired, overworked mother having a bad day, and not a real instance of child abuse. But I'm sure that some mothers who yell at their children in public DO abuse their kids. Just because the vast majority are nothing more than a tired mother shouting doesn't mean it's OK to automatically write off every instance of a child being yelled at as "bullshit". Sometimes it *is* serious. Like I said, you just never know.

I guess that was the point I was trying to make in my OP. Where do you draw the line? When does something go from being a mere concern to being something that the authorities should be involved with? You'd hate to turn a blind eye to a potentially hazardous situation just because you might be wrong, but on the other hand, you don't want to cause unnecessary trouble either.

So if you don't know, then what do you do? I don't think anyone is saying to write off every instance as nothing. But there certainly needs to be something, IMO, to warrant that kind of phone call.

[SingingMom]

See, this would all be handled by introducing yourself to him and mowing the lawn. You'd get a good feel for what kind of person he is. If he's running a grow op, it'll make him nervous that neighbors are paying attention to him and he might start mowing his own lawn. Net benefit to the neighborhood.

If he's not running a grow op, you might make a new friend.

I mow my neighbors' lawns occasionally. They don't seem to mind. They give me eggs from their chickens. It's all good.

[QuiltyConscience]

See, this would all be handled by introducing yourself to him and mowing the lawn. You'd get a good feel for what kind of person he is. If he's running a grow op, it'll make him nervous that neighbors are paying attention to him and he might start mowing his own lawn. Net benefit to the neighborhood.

If he's not running a grow op, you might make a new friend.

I mow my neighbors' lawns occasionally. They don't seem to mind. They give me eggs from their chickens. It's all good.


I think that's a really good idea.

[Tweet]

To tell the truth, yeah, I am a bit surprised.

I know some posters will reply with profanity when people ask ridiculous questions, but to me, this wasn't ridiculous. To me, it was a potentially serious situation that I was truly worried about. It's not like I just thought "Hey, this guy didn't mow his lawn. Let's report him for growing weed in his house".


I just wanted it to make it clear that I use profanity on a really regular basis. It's a flaw of mine I suppose. So, I swear whether I find something ridiculous or not. And it's nothing at all personal. I'm really sorry because it seems to have bothered you quite a bit.

The thing is, though, to a lot of us, this *does* sound ridiculous. I was hoping that after you'd typed everything out and read everything everyone typed, you'd see that this is most likely imagination getting the best of you.It happens. I've worked myself up before,albeit for totally different reasons. It worries me that you don't seem to see it that way,though.

[Tweet]

I get that what I described in the OP wouldn't be a cause for concern for the majority of people. I truly do. I'm less worried about it after reading all these posts, but I'm still a bit concerned that *maybe* something is going on. You just never know.

To use your example, yes, yelling at your kids could be a sign of abuse. Most cases are like you described - an exasperated, tired, overworked mother having a bad day, and not a real instance of child abuse. But I'm sure that some mothers who yell at their children in public DO abuse their kids. Just because the vast majority are nothing more than a tired mother shouting doesn't mean it's OK to automatically write off every instance of a child being yelled at as "bullshit". Sometimes it *is* serious. Like I said, you just never know.

I guess that was the point I was trying to make in my OP. Where do you draw the line? When does something go from being a mere concern to being something that the authorities should be involved with? You'd hate to turn a blind eye to a potentially hazardous situation just because you might be wrong, but on the other hand, you don't want to cause unnecessary trouble either.


I'm sorry for serial posting and Hugsing the thread. As I said earlier, it's one thing to be aware and keep an eye out. You don't have to stick your hand in the sand and pretend that nothing bad happens ever. It is quite another to get so worked up that you imagine all sorts of things and then consider acting on them. Do you not see how it might be just better to simply be aware? Then, if you truly *do* see something that looks like illegal behavior, call.

Have you read The Gift of Fear? It's a good book and you really might get something out of it.