How do you handle relentless begging for stuff?

[Wildflower]

My 9-year-old has been really relentless lately with begging and asking over and over and OVER for the same thing when I've already told him no. It's been happening so much that it's really bumming me out because I feel like all we do is argue. I don't always say no, but I'm also not his personal entertainment liason and sometimes I just need to get things done and being told to 'go and play' doesn't work and he will follow me around, right in my shadow. Can anyone please give me some ideas on how to handle this?

[Amy_G_]

If it's buying stuff for him, give him an allowance for chores and tell him he has to buy his own stuff.
If it's nagging to go somewhere, have a friend over, eat ice cream, play video games kind of nagging--if you nag, the answer is no. If you ask politely, the answer may still be no. If you nag, the answer will be no for the whole week though. If you ask politely, I will try to say yes sometime during the week.

telling em to go and play doesn't work, then if you are hanging out with mom, you have to help with the chores mom is doing. they usually get away fast when threatened with that.

[Tweet]

My oldest dd does this a lot as well. If it's something that is a no right then , but a yes later, I have found that it helps to give her a specific time . Usually I only have to remind her once or twice after that, if at all. If it's just a no and that's it, I give an other option. For instance, if she's begging me for say, ice cream , I'll tell her what she CAN have. If she keeps on and on, I ignore her. That's all I can do!

[hotlama]

My kids learned pretty quick that if I said no, it meant no. If they continued asking me it would be no for a longer period of time. For example, if dd1 asked to go swimming and I said no, but she continued to beg me about it, I will say "now it's no for the next two days, wanna make it longer?" Saying something like that usually makes my kids stop. The problem I have now is that they know to accept my answer as no but they will still beg grandparents and other relatives when they aren't with a parent.

[RedheadbyChoice]

You may not, no. But thanks for asking and thank you for playing the Momma Game.

Next contestant please!

That truly is my response, much of the time. And amazingly enough, I can usually do it with a smile (and yes, it's a smile, not a grimace!) on my face.

I'm also known to sign NO to them, with flair. (if you're familiar with the sign for no, I do it with a snap of the wrist, flicking the NO. a lot of attitude is used with this move, beware!) The first no is signed with the flat, serious, 'I mean business' look. The second is with the raised eyebrows, 'Are you on crack? No way will you get that' look. The third is with the 'if I must sign this to you one more time, not only will you be in your room, but you'll be scrubbing my kitchen floor with old socks if you don't quit the whining!' look.


*those responses are for my older girls who clearly know better than to whine and beg but tend to forget that I have an excellent memory, for a momma*

[JustMoi]

After about the second time.... my response was "I've already told you no, you cannot have it now. If you ask me even ONE MORE TIME, not only will the answer be no you cannot have it now, but the no will become permanent and you will not get it AT ALL."

[bocarioja]

After about the second time.... my response was "I've already told you no, you cannot have it now. If you ask me even ONE MORE TIME, not only will the answer be no you cannot have it now, but the no will become permanent and you will not get it AT ALL."

Pretty much this.

[xobehs]

I am also a NO flicker as well, Red. LOL! Even DS at 18 mos knows the NO sign LOL!

[JulieBaby]

I only say 'no' once or twice. After that I develop a sort of funny deafness. My mom says its a gift to be able to tune these things out...lol!

[SingingMom]

I say no. I sign no. I mean no.

I don't give in. I don't listen. I don't negotiate. Occasionally, I will say, "I see this is very important to you. I'll talk to you about it again tomorrow."

And the older kids have learned that it's better to learn to back off than to have a mom who gets grumpier and grumpier. Only the babies whine in this house- and they get picked up.

[tata]

I agree that if it's for an item that costs money, it's prolly time for an allowance. It has REALLY helped with the begging around here. DD gets a dollar for every year of her age (9) per week and it is given out once per month. She must save half of it in her bank account. It is not tied to household chores (no one pays ME to fold laundry!), but rather her "job" as a kid - going to school, doing homework, keeping her room picked up and bed made, turning out lights (on bad habit in particular of hers) and so on.

Otherwise, just be consistent. If you give in after so much begging, the kid will figure out that if he begs long and hard enough, you'll eventually cave.