HELP ... Mommy Preference

[Funmommy]

My DD (3.5 months) has mommy preference. In other words she doesn't want to go to anyone else and will cry when someone even talks to her. She sometimes won't even go to Daddy or her older brothers. She's fine with her 4.5 year old brother though. All my (FF) boys would go to anyone so I don't know how to deal with this. I had my mother watch her so my DH and I could go out for the first time since she was born and I found out later that she cried for most of the time. I felt sooo bad. Is this a BF baby thing, a girl thing or just a her thing? And how can I get her to not be sooo clingy. I love her dearly but I need a little time to myself too.
HELP!!!!

Thank You!
Funmommy/Nadine

[Sunnie]

It's a baby thing. You lucked out with your other kids. My oldest was FF and still wanted nothing to do with anyone else for over a year.

[MadisonsMommy]

My little girl is 10 months and still has her mommy days... She used to be exactly the same way... She seems to be growing out of it... Slowly...

[jbeeker]

My DD (3.5 months) has mommy preference. In other words she doesn't want to go to anyone else and will cry when someone even talks to her. She sometimes won't even go to Daddy or her older brothers. She's fine with her 4.5 year old brother though. All my (FF) boys would go to anyone so I don't know how to deal with this. I had my mother watch her so my DH and I could go out for the first time since she was born and I found out later that she cried for most of the time. I felt sooo bad. Is this a BF baby thing, a girl thing or just a her thing? And how can I get her to not be sooo clingy. I love her dearly but I need a little time to myself too.
HELP!!!!

Thank You!
Funmommy/Nadine



Oh honey...I feel your pain! DS won't go to Granpa or Granma, and Daddy is even iffy. It's just a phase I believe. I figure someday he won't hug me in public, so I'll enjoy it now. They will fuss while they are alone with someone else, but as long as you trust that adult, rest assured your baby will be fine in your absence.

[Jacksmommy]

My baby was the same way. I just stayed with him. I figured I could wait to go out until he was ready to part with me for short periods of time.

[Funmommy]

Thank you ladies I really appreciate the input.
Does anyone know how i can gently ease her into accepting other people?
I want to start painting again and I really don't want her near all those chemicals.
But I really need that sanity time too. It's usually only for about 4-5 hours at a time.
Thanks
Funmommy/Nadine

[Wolverine]

Both my kiddos are breastfed. First dd wouldn't go to anyone except me for 14 months. Little baby dd will go to anyone and smiles and coos the whole time. I think it's just a personality thing. It will pass.

[RedheadbyChoice]

Short of forcing her to cry for hours when you're gone, no, there's not too much to do about it. Sorry, momma. Having someone else hold her when she's happy (just fed, not hungry at all) can help a bit, or at least that can be a happy moment for others to hold her.

'Tis perfectly normal, though, really it is.

[Amy_G_]

Hand her off to other people--starting with dad and siblings and don't rush to her all paniced when she fusses. reassure her, have them reassure her and then when she seems a bit calm(if that happens) take her back. repeat ad nauseum, shortening and lengthening times, with you in the room and out of the room. let dad and siblings put her in the swing, and put her to bed and change diapers and give baths as often as possible. But at this age, it's pretty normal, and healthy for babe to have a stronger attachment for one person over another.

remember, baby's brain doesn't quite work like an adult brain. when you are out of sight, they don't really know that you are coming back even if you tell them so. for some it's like out of sight, out of mind and they don't panic, for others it's out of sight, panic cause I may never see mommy again. they have no concept of time and get really scared at the idea. for others it makes em mad cause can't you hear them calling you and you won't come?

[Funmommy]

Yeah but she crys even if I'm right there and someone else is holding her.
It doesn't seem to be seperation anxiety or if it is it's really bad.
I guess I just want her to ba a really happy baby like the boys were. :crying:
I wanted to start going to the gym again...I guess that'll have to wait a while.
So much for the perfect solution. :nono:
Thanks again ladies :hug:
Funmommy/Nadine

[samiam]

My ds, who is now 12 months old, has been the same way. At 3.5 months he would go to others without too much fuss but after about 5-6 months not so much. Especially if I am in the room and dh is holding him he will have a fit until I take him. Oddly, he is fine in the same room if my dsd is holding him though.

My dh went through about 3 months of my ds screaming (I don't mean crying, I mean whaling as though he had someone pinching him) for at least one hour every Monday night when I worked. I only worked for 3 hours mind you, 4 with commute. There was nothing we could do to stop it and I had to work. Eventually he grew out of it.

Now he is okay if I leave him with my dh but does get cranky at night regardless.

The funniest turn of events is the way he has taken to MY father. You would think the guy was his second mom. He will even shun ME (you know, the one who gives out the boob milk, cuddles, and wakes up all night long still) to go to grandpa!

I feel bad sometimes though because if my dad has him and my dh tries to take him Vinny has a fit just like he would if it were me. Thankfully, dh doesn't take it to heart anymore. After having 4 kids he knows it is just a phase and deep down the little snot loves his daddy.

Maybe the gym has to wait but you could easily enough pick up walking! I always tried to tailor things more around the kids when they were babies, it just seemed to make things easier all around.

[camille97]

Yeah but she crys even if I'm right there and someone else is holding her.
It doesn't seem to be seperation anxiety or if it is it's really bad.
I guess I just want her to ba a really happy baby like the boys were. :crying:
I wanted to start going to the gym again...I guess that'll have to wait a while.
So much for the perfect solution. :nono:
Thanks again ladies :hug:
Funmommy/Nadine

I'm right there with you. DD1 was a happy baby unless she was poopy or hungry. DS was a little more clingy, but still liked other people to hold him. DD2 wants me and only me. Her dad can hold her for 10 - 15 minutes at a time and then she wants me again. So, generally by the time I'm done taking a shower, she's screaming for me to be done. I basically wear her in the sling 24/7. We co-sleep and she keeps her hand on my boob at night so she can tell if I leave. "lol9"

[haleysmom]

Just try to be patient. She's new to the world. She just wants her mommy for comfort.

I went through this with my dd. She is turning 2 in a few weeks and is just now good with other people.

[SingingMom]

Some babies are like this. My DS was. Eventually he grew out of it.

It was a long wait, though. I feel your pain. I don't think it's a BF thing, although my MIL will tell you differently.

For us, it kind of is a separation anxiety thing. It's natural, even it's more pronounced in some babies than in others. If it's any comfort, my DS is now pretty independent. He goes to swimming lessons and doesn't even look back to see if I'm around.

But my DD is still very hard to leave. I've got her to the point where I can leave her with a sitter at home occasionally, if all the other kids are there too and she's not too tired.

Otherwise, she cries, and cries, and cries. She hasn't stopped yet, and I don't plan to find out how long it would go on.