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View Full Version : Hypothetical ?/Vent


JulieBaby
06-07-2008, 08:13 PM
I need some opinions on this, someone to either tell me im right in my thinking or to give me a slap in the face and tell me I am so wrong.

Here is the situation:

I know of this woman, not much older than me with 3 kids. Her oldest is 2 1/2, 10-11months the second and a few days old the 3rd. She has had problems carrying her children to term, being born at approximately 35 weeks, 33 weeks and 26 weeks or so this last one.

She could care less about these children, seriously. Her two older children are always with someone else, and her youngest she has only seen a few times. When she was released from the hospital, she opted for going out partying instead of visiting her son in the NICU.

Today, same thing.

She is all about sleeping around (even though she has a boyfriend), drnking and partying. She is not a mom to those kids at all. The only times I have seen her with those children, they are crying and screaming hysterically in the stroller.

Why does a person like this choose to keep on having more kids? Apparently her OB was leaning on her getting her tubes tied, because of her high risk history or whatever but she said no.

Why are people like this? Would 'you' keep bringing unhealthy children into this world? (Her oldest son has slight mental issues, her middle child motor delays, the youngest an unending amount of health issues) If she were a caring mother I may understand, but why keep bringing these kids into the world if all you want todo is partuy?


To give a clearer picture, im talking about the woman DH cheated on me with.

Crabbie
06-07-2008, 08:24 PM
unfortunately, there is no answer as to why there are people out there like this. My stepson's mother has 5 children and lost custody of all of them.

hotlama
06-07-2008, 08:26 PM
Do you spend enough time with this person to actually make an informed opinion?

cbreeding
06-07-2008, 08:28 PM
Honestly it sounds as though she is very selfish. It could be that she doesn't necessarily want children, but "it's her right, and no one is going to tell her she can't/shouldn't." Unfortunately it is the children that suffer the most.

BeachMama
06-07-2008, 08:45 PM
Those poor kids. :(


I used to know someone like this (an old neighbor). Not quite as bad as you describe, but she kept having premature babies and never stopped smoking and didn't reallly watch them at all. I know she lost custody of at least one, but then got her back. I don't know why she lost custody of her. I do know that she was on assistance and mentioned being excited for her fifth to be born because her benefits would go up.

camille97
06-07-2008, 08:47 PM
unfortunately, there is no answer as to why there are people out there like this. My stepson's mother has 5 children and lost custody of all of them.


This. My "sister" (my biodad adopted her) has four girls and lost them all (making long story short: prescription drugs, not her scripts). She refused to have her tubes tied and talks about trying for another one because she wants a son. :mad:

Ilovemonkeys
06-07-2008, 10:16 PM
For my mother it was about mental illness and drugs. It still is.

HammBugga
06-07-2008, 10:19 PM
I think its sad. I agree that it may be mental illness and or drug addiction. Also, if she is using and drinking a lot she probably isn't using protection and she gets pregnant and can't get her shit together enough to have an abortion so she just remains pregnant. but we really can't even speculate because we aren't her and we don't know what goes through her mind. I suspect she loves them though, as most mothers do. She is just doing what she knows how to do.

alejorge
06-07-2008, 10:33 PM
OK my brohter was like that.....I know he isn't a woman but he had like 3 kids got custody of them but lost the custody because of too much partying nad what not. Now he is having another baby. Hopefully this time he will be able to keep the baby. This time he is also married..........Maybe it is looking up for the best now.

xobehs
06-08-2008, 10:00 AM
For my mother it was about mental illness and drugs. It still is.
I was thinking along these lines as well- not to excuse her from any responsibility from her behaviors.