16 months and still going

[babyblue31181]

My son is 16 months and still going on the breast. I have gotten him slowed down to breakfast,lunch,and bedtime on a good day.He still wakes three to four times at night and i would realy like to get him off real soon. I'm recently a single mother(NOT BY CHOICE) and trying to get cetified as a CNA. So i have very little time to get him weaned. I've tried to get him to go all day without but it's like the devil comes out of him if i deny him his ''nini.'' I've tried cups and bottles and even distracting him with toys or games and singing. I keep hearing how he will wean hisself or that tying up my breast isn't the right thing to do. I've read so many things about getting him on the breast but nothng about how to get him off. So my question is, What do i do??? I think 16 months is long enough.

[Jacksmommy]

Advice is generally to reduce one feeding at a time - slowly and gently until the child no longer misses that one nursing session and then reduce the next one. This makes weaning gradual and less painful for you both. Yes, children will wean themselves, but that can happen anywhere from 18 months to 6 years of age.

[babyblue31181]

Thank you for your advice and i realy appreciate the time you took out to answer my plea for help.I just have a few more questions. Some say that he feeds because he's bored or for comfort,etc. What do you suggest i do for a 16 month old baby boy who gets bored easily? What do you suggest i do for him when it's time for that feeding and he refuses to give in to playing games or taking a walk, etc.? I also have two other children ages 8(downsyndrome) and 6. It's kind of hard for me not to just give in to him (when he's throwing fits) so i can think straight to deal with the the other two.

[Jacksmommy]

Honestly, if he's throwing a fit because he wants to nurse, then I'd figure he's not ready to give up that session, and I'd nurse him. You want to get rid of the least important session first. Also, remember he's teething at 16 months and nursing is very comforting. Do you give him Hyland's teething tablets? That's what we used to help with teething discomfort.

Remember also that even though nursing is something that babies do for many reasons, it's also very filling to little tummies. Sometimes when you want to stop or shorten a nursing session, it helps to offer a snack before you nurse your baby. Sometimes a snack and some water will be enough that baby won't want to nurse at all at that time. Sometimes he'll still want to nurse but for just a short time.

How well does your son eat solid food? This is another factor in weaning. Some babies really don't eat enough to get by without the calories and nutrients in breastmilk.

[babyblue31181]

He eats solid food very well.There is no problem there. He is teething,come to think about it. It's like everytime he sees me he thinks he needs to come and feed. I give in to him and he feeds for a few minutes and then thats it he's done he's happy.Sometimes he just screams long enough for me to give it to him.It's like he's doing it just to see if i will give it to him. Is it a possibility that he is doing that? Thank you again for all of your advice. It's very helpful.

[Jacksmommy]

What is likely is that he wants to nurse, and certain things make him think of it more. You sitting down may make you seem available. You sitting in a place he likes to sit to nurse may make him think that it might be a nursing time. I think babies have a limited way of telling us what they need. They can cry, scream, gesture, say the few words they know - all to try to communicate what they need and how strongly they feel about it. I think if he's screaming to be nursed it's because he wants to nurse. I doubt very much that he's testing you. It's more likely he's becoming uncertain how to ask to nurse because what he once did doesn't always work anymore.

If you have a particular nursing session you want to wean away, then I'd try to make sure it's one that's not very important to your baby. If he's already down to breakfast, lunch, bedtime and nighttime then it may be that it's going to be somewhat difficult to end the next session. Is he okay with the current nursing schedule of just twice a day and bedtime and nighttime? Or is he still trying to nurse more frequently? If he's still adjusting to this, I wouldn't try to get rid of any more sessions yet. I would try to keep busy when he asks at extra times, offer a snack and some cuddles - maybe read him a book or dance with him - something where he gets to be close to you and still gets special attention from you. If he still feels strongly about being nursed at that time, I'd nurse him. You don't want weaning to be a big deal. You don't want him to think about nursing all the time or feel like he's suddenly having something taken away. You want this to be gradual so he's okay with it all.

[babyblue31181]

Well when we first started trying to wean him he was doing great with the three times a day and then the night time feedings. Then recently he started wanting to nurse more then that. So it's like we went from weaning back to feeding constantly again. It backfired on me somehow. Maybe I'm just not doing it right. I have two older children but never breastfed them and so this is new to me. Everyone keeps telling me I'm being to passive so he wont cry. That I'm giving in to his crying. Maybe I am but I just dont like it when my "littleman" cries. It makes me feel like i'm not being a good mother. I know it's just gonna take time and patience as does everything else. I'm just trying to get him ready for that seperatin when i have to leave him with granny to go to work.

[Jacksmommy]

When you have to leave him, it will definitely be an adjustment - no matter if he's weaned or not. It doesn't mean though that he has to do the same things with you as he does with your grandmother. Will you still nurse him in the evenings? Will you still nurse on the weekends? He'll develop a different routine with your grandmother. He doesn't see her as someone who will nurse him. He may even take bm in a sippy for her. Do you pump? I forgot if you mentioned.
How soon does your job start? Will you be able to nurse him in the morning and in the evening after work as well as nights? If so then you're really only talking about the lunch/naptime nursing that will need to be different.

[babyblue31181]

Those are some realy great things to start working on. As for pumping, never liked doing it. Maybe its just me but pumping hurts

[Jacksmommy]

I never liked pumping either - found it to be very painful. I've heard that it's because I don't have a very good pump. You don't have to do it. Your baby is old enough to not have to be nursed at that feeding you'd have to miss. It's just an option if you want it. Will you still nurse in the morning, evening, and nights? Or will your new work schedule mean baby needs to be completely weaned in the day time? When do you start working?