so frustrated

[bfmomworries]

Hi everyone.

I am very frustrated this evening, moreso than any other feeding since her birth, although this isn't the first night this has happened.

She starts feeding, and after 5 minutes, she comes off, and immediately wants to get back on. I put her back on, and she again comes right off and wants to get back on. She's crying, and I'm crying because she is hungry but for whatever reason she won't eat, but she wants to.

i switch sides, and the exact same thing happens again. Tears and all:(

The whole rest of the day was fine, and she doesn't do this every night, but it does happen a couple times a week. I am just at a loss as to what to do. I am very frustrated and don't know what to do to get her to eat when she's like this and hungry!

suggestions???

[Cathy]

Hey, there. I'm sorry she's being so fussy.

I remember you saying in another thread that you think it might be oversupply. If that's still your best theory, and her weight and diapers still look good, then maybe she's fussy because she's already full? If so, maybe your pinkie finger or a pacifier would help? If this is happening mainly at night, then that would be a particular time when it might make sense that she's wanting to nurse for sleep/comfort and not for food.

Whatever you do, try to stay calm, as that will help her to settle. (Also, you don't want to get into a battle with her which could result in a nursing strike. My baby went on strike at 10 weeks, and it was very upsetting.)

[ima062002]

You could position her so that her bum rests on your belly, right below your chest (legs scrunched up and feet resting on your chest) and support her back/tush with one hand, the neck/head with the other and talk to your baby. Look her in the eyes, try to get her to look at you. Call her, whistle stofty or making other noises you find helpful. This is a good position to sing/talk to your infant so that you both can calm down a little. You can walk and bounce her like that too. You could tell her that you are sad because you want to be able to always make things good and fun for her but that she is upset and you can't figure out what is happening... your voice and the emotion with it might help her to relax a bit; and you too :). And then you can put her back on. This is also a good position for dads to try to calm their infants.

[Amy_G_]

She may be full but still want to suck.
or she may be fighting sleep--she knows if she nurses she'll go to sleep, but for some reason she doesn't want to sleep, so she's fighting it.
everything isn't always about the milk supply as they get older, even just a few weeks older

[TayNRobbiesMom]

my ds does this often. its normally a tough burp / fighting sleep.

lots of xs ill nurse him then bounce him in the bouncer to sleep b/c thats the only way...

[mommyofmonkeys]

I agree with Amy - I have a 2 week old, and she does that exact same thing when she gets tired. She wants to suck, but isn't hungry and when the milk comes, she pulls off. I usually swaddle her and rock her and she goes to sleep. Good luck.

[bfmomworries]

I remember you saying in another thread that you think it might be oversupply. If that's still your best theory, and her weight and diapers still look good, then maybe she's fussy because she's already full? If so, maybe your pinkie finger or a pacifier would help? If this is happening mainly at night, then that would be a particular time when it might make sense that she's wanting to nurse for sleep/comfort and not for food.

Good point, will try the pinkie/pacifier thing. I try to just get my husband to take her because she seems to fall asleep better for him, maybe because she doesn't associate him with food?

You could position her so that her bum rests on your belly, right below your chest (legs scrunched up and feet resting on your chest) and support her back/tush with one hand, the neck/head with the other and talk to your baby. Look her in the eyes, try to get her to look at you. Call her, whistle softly or making other noises you find helpful. This is a good position to sing/talk to your infant so that you both can calm down a little. You can walk and bounce her like that too. You could tell her that you are sad because you want to be able to always make things good and fun for her but that she is upset and you can't figure out what is happening... your voice and the emotion with it might help her to relax a bit; and you too :). And then you can put her back on. This is also a good position for dads to try to calm their infants.
This is exactly what i did (coupled with tears), so thanks for the suggestion, I will try it again sans tears to try to get a bit more relaxed. the tears probably didn't help, LOL


She may be full but still want to suck.
or she may be fighting sleep--she knows if she nurses she'll go to sleep, but for some reason she doesn't want to sleep, so she's fighting it.
everything isn't always about the milk supply as they get older, even just a few weeks older
My mom said I never liked to sleep for fear I'd miss something:) maybe she follows my footsteps.

my ds does this often. its normally a tough burp / fighting sleep.

lots of xs ill nurse him then bounce him in the bouncer to sleep b/c thats the only way...
I cannot get her to burp, I am just a bad burper:(

I agree with Amy - I have a 2 week old, and she does that exact same thing when she gets tired. She wants to suck, but isn't hungry and when the milk comes, she pulls off. I usually swaddle her and rock her and she goes to sleep. Good luck.
And another good suggestion. I think I just think that nursing means sitting there and nursing, and I forget about possibly changing it up on her or moving her off of me to see if she really is full and just wants to comfort-suck.

Thanks again as always for all the suggestions. I really was upset by it last night, and I am hoping tonight isn't a repeater:) Will try some of the suggestions you all had mentioned!

[Nipple_nectar]

This too shall pass {{{hugs}}} My DD still does this and she is 16 months old! It is when she is really tired but just wants that nipple in her mouth. Oy!

Try reading Happiest baby on the block by Dr. Harvey Karp and it will explain infant communication.