Reducing a childs allowance (sorta)--opinions please

[WalkingTittyBar]

My 13 year old receives $25.00 every two weeks for allowance. I give him this money so that he has money to spend when he goes places with a friend, save up for big things or buy what he wants. I was hoping he would learn how to manage his money, and hopefully learn how to save.

He does occassionally have the opportunity to earn more by mowing the lawn or watching ds2 or something.

He saves absolutely nothing. Not a cent. And his entire allowance is generally gone within two or three days. He is buying junk with it. Sometimes he will make a "wise" purchase (skateboarding stuff which he loves and uses alot) but alot of it is wasted on crap like energy drinks, milkshakes, candy, etc. (He buys the energy drinks when Im not around because I dont let him have them very often.)

Would it be wrong for me to give him $15 every two weeks and then put the other $10 into a savings account? And am I wrong to be very annoyed by him squandering his money away? Should I have a say-so in how he spends his allowance? He knows not to ask me for more money after he spends all of his, but then he complains that he can never save anything.

I know that when he gets a drivers license, he will want a car, of course. I feel that he should be saving now for a downpayment. He gets really mad when we talk about it. This kid seriously thinks we have a money tree growing in our front yard.

I would appreciate some input here.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

If he earns his allowance it should, IMO, be his to spend, even if you feel that he's wasting it. If you are just giving him money that might be different.

However, I don't think you're teaching responsibility by taking money 'from' him and putting it into savings.

I can't imagine, at 13, having the maturity to think about a downpayment for a car in three years.

[TuetonicWillow]

I'm torn.

I have a natural born saver who can hang onto his money for months until he has enough to buy what he wants. He is lucky that way. I've been drilling the importance of managing money into his head since he could count, though.

I don't think withholding his money will teach him true financial skills.

$50 a month at 13 seems pretty generous, though! Holy cow.

Is he actually earning this allowance or is it a given?

[SueDid]

At 12 our kids' allowance goes up to $10 per week and they have to save half. While they can spend all of any money they get as gifts, half of any other money they make (babysitting, etc.) also gets saved. We do allow to keep more than half occasionally for special things.

I guess I have unusual teenagers, all of them were saving money with their sights on cars by 13 or 14 years old.

[fell4myfallbaby]

yeah i agree if he works for it then it's more like his, but if it's just money you give him then it wouldn't seem so unfair to him if you told him what to do with a little bit of it. just at least ask him to buy more milkshakes than energy drinks. :)
by the way i like your screen name! so funny!

[WalkingTittyBar]

I'm torn.


I don't think withholding his money will teach him true financial skills.

$50 a month at 13 seems pretty generous, though! Holy cow.

Is he actually earning this allowance or is it a given?


His allowance isnt tied to chores. He does have set chores that he is expected to do, like clean his room, help with laundry, take out the trash. He does well with his set chores. I dont give him the allowance based on doing these things because they are things I feel that he should be doing regardless of whether he is getting "paid" or not.

I occassionly allow him to do extra chores to earn a little more money here and there.

I started doing the allowance because he was constantly asking me for money to go skating with friends, to buy a ton of crap every time we would go anywhere. My point was to stop him from asking me for money, learn to save up for big purchases (and some little things), and still have money when he wants to go out with friends.

He doesnt ask me or dh for money now, but I feel like $50 a month is getting blown on a whole shitload of nothing. Plus he always complains about not being able to save. Im not really sure what to do here.

[WalkingTittyBar]

At 12 our kids' allowance goes up to $10 per week and they have to save half. While they can spend all of any money they get as gifts, half of any other money they make (babysitting, etc.) also gets saved. We do allow to keep more than half occasionally for special things.

I guess I have unusual teenagers, all of them were saving money with their sights on cars by 13 or 14 years old.



I like your idea on saving half. Do they have an account to put the money in or just a piggy bank or what?

Oh and I had my sights set on cars by the time I was 12 or 13 too.

[TuetonicWillow]

My honest opinion, and I apologize for being harsh, is that it appears your son has been given too much money too easily. There doesn't seem to be any incentive to save when you know you're getting another set and sure $50 in a few weeks.

It seems money does grow on trees for him.

[WalkingTittyBar]

TW, I couldnt agree more. Im not sure what a fair amount is though.


He claims that all of his friends get $50 to $100 a month. I find that hard to believe knowing what a poor area we are from though.

[TuetonicWillow]

Forget all his friends and forget his claims.

In real life, people have to earn thier money. There is no allowance fairy. He's old enough to know that work = money and there are no freebies. If he is handed out free money with no work ethic instilled with it, he will learn that money is easy to come by and he'll have little respect for it.

I'm a very firm believer in making solid attempts in regards to giving kids a solid work ethic, self-reliance and financial decision making abilities. Habits like that stay with a child forever.

I cannot see what benefit there is to an automatic granting of $50 at the age of 13, especially when it comes with no strings and a gauranteed renewal.

[WalkingTittyBar]

Okay, here is my idea. How does giving him $25 a MONTH for allowance, with the opportunity to earn up to $25 more a MONTH sound? That would be mean that he continues to do his regular chores and will receive $12.50 every two weeks. Then he can do extra chores to earn up to $25 more a month, for a total possible of $50 in a month.

Does that sound reasonable?

[WalkingTittyBar]

TW, I swear, I agree so much with what you are saying. I have always been the type of person to work my ass off for what I have and appreciate the things I have earned. My parents never gave us an allowance. We all had chores and were never given any money for doing them. I am terrible for overcompensating with him for what I didnt have when I was a kid. And I know that is what I have done here.

[TuetonicWillow]

You can't make up for your parents' mistakes by pulling a 180. I'm guilty of that, too, in different ways.

He's old enough for an honest heart to heart about money. He sure as shit won't like hearing he has to earn all that money or take a reduction in allowance but oh well, none of us like to hear we've been fired or gotten a paycut or been laid off. Shit happens.

One day, he will be grateful you did your best to help him appreciate a dollar. He might find himself rich, he might find himself struggling but no matter what, he'll be thankful that he wasn't left to his own devices.

So many teens end up in credit card debt before they're 20. They have no idea about money, saving, investing or earning. These are not habits and lessons reserved for the wealthy, if anything the opposite is true. These kids, they get an easy ride throug the teen years and then they go off to college, overspend and underearn and then end up begging mom and dad to pay off thier massive Visa bill from one too many trips to the mall.

You don't want your child to end up financially clueless or you woulnd't be posting this.

Put into motion what you already know is right for him. It'll suck when he protests and sulks but most things about raising teens suck. =P

[WalkingTittyBar]

Thanks, TW. Im sure this is going to be a lovely conversation to have. Im already dreading it.

[TuetonicWillow]

There will be worse. lol

You have to be broken in, anyway. Soon enough comes the, "No, your boyfriend'girlfriend cannot sleep here with you" and the "No, you can't get a tattoo becuase you are 15" and the "No, we can't let you go away camping with your 19 yr old boyfiend" chats.

[TuetonicWillow]

FTR, we just had the blow out, drama filled 'no, we aren't buying you a shiny new car' scene here this week. You're not alone in the "dreaded talk" area.

[WalkingTittyBar]

FTR, we just had the blow out, drama filled 'no, we aren't buying you a shiny new car' scene here this week. You're not alone in the "dreaded talk" area.



I dread the day of that talk too. lol

[SueDid]

I like your idea on saving half. Do they have an account to put the money in or just a piggy bank or what?

Oh and I had my sights set on cars by the time I was 12 or 13 too.

They put half in an envelope or piggy bank of some kind and when there is a hundred dollars or so we open a bank account for them. They save it in their room until they have some saved and then we make a trip to the bank. They are really good about not dipping into that money, though, I think if that was a problem the banks would be kept where I could keep tabs on them.

Our allowances weren't tied to anything, either, and they knew what they had was all they got so they learned to use it wisely pretty quickly.

The only downfall that I see with giving him half and earning half is that it still doesn't really address him saving any.

Our four older kids are 21, 19, 16, and 14 and they rarely spend $25 per week without something to show for it (clothing, etc.) They do go out with friends, but often they all decide to go to a park, or to one of their houses to play cards or watch movies. They do go out to eat, and did so quite a bit for a while, but all decided that they didn't want to be spending that much money on consumables so don't do it nearly as often these days.

We've been struggling financially for a long time, and though it's difficult in some ways, it also has really helped to teach our kids about the value of a dollar. Our older two would rather be really careful with their money and not have to work so much, our 16 year old gladly works (40+ hours per week for the summer between babysitting and her job at a pizza place) because she likes having money to spend/save.

It sounds like this is a good time to decide on some money rules, the older they get, the harder it is to change those kind of habits.

[Jacksmommy]

When we first started earning money my dad mandated that 25% had to go into savings. He said it was just good sense. Maybe you could explain to your son that you are helping him to learn how to be responsible with money.

[hotlama]

I haven't read any replies so I'm just going off of the OP.


My dd1 gets paid $10 a week for helping me with dd2 and chores around the house. Instead of giving her cash, the money is automatically transferred from my checking account to her savings account every Friday. She earns extra cash from time to time that she can spend on whatever she wants but if she wants to use the money from her savings account she has to tell me what she wants to get and ask me to withdrawal the money for her.

[kohlby]

I don't think he should be made to save any. I think one of the purposes of an allowance is for kids to learn how to manage their money - that they learn that once it's gone, they can't get what they want. However, it is possible that your son is being given too much so he doesn't have the incentive to save any or make wiser purchases. I would be hesitant to decrease his allowance, since then it sends the message that it's a punishment for wasting him money - but it is his money once it leaves your hand and goes into his. Instead, I'd keep the amount but not increase it for a long time, until he grasps the concept of saving his money better. Also, teach him about things to save it for - like if you help him buy gifts for people, make his start using his own money. Tell him that you'll spend so much money for back to school clothes, and he'll have to chip in if he wants certain brands. It likely won't be long before he wants more expensive things and realizes that he doesn't have that money.

*My parents had a rule that half of any money we earned went into the bank for college. We didn't save for cars nor were we given cars. (I had my first car at 22). We were free to spend or save 100% of any other money we were given as gifts or allowance. However, I remember my allowance being 2.75 a month at one point! So, allowance didn't go very far!

[Iconoclast]

I only read page 1. I give my kids $1/week for every year they are old. It isn't tied to specific chores per se, but they must do whatever they are asked to do when they are asked to do it without complaint, or I do dock their allowance. They must keep their bedrooms, bathrooms and rec room clean, do some laundry, yard work, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and whatever else I think of along the way. They have the occassional opportunity to earn additional money from time to time if I have a big project. My oldest ds can detail my car as well as the "professional," so if he wants to do it, I'll pay him what I would anyone else. That sort of thing.

The children are not required to sve anything, but we have an incentive program for saving. Every 6 months we match whatever they have saved dollar for dollar (similiat to a 401K, but without a limit, lol) and help them buy a CD or invest it somehow. Dd #2 wanted to buy shares of disney, lol (She got three).

[Tulip]

That's a great idea, Icono! I wouldn't have thought to do a savings match, but that really would be a good incentive to save.

WTB, have you thought about showing him what saving money can do? Surely there are some financial books available that a young teen could understand. Does he know that he will earn interest on the money he saves? That the interest reinvested will in turn earn interest?

I also agree with a PP that instead of reducing his allowance you can increase the items that he is responsible for purchasing himself. If he's going to be responsible for purchasing his first car, then help him understand what that is going to cost him (new and used) and formulate a plan on how to get there. That might include mowing lawns in the summer or other odd jobs for extra money. Discuss what his maintenance costs are going to be for that vehicle - insurance costs and gas each month. Tell him what portion you'll be willing to pay and what portion he'll be responsible for. Same goes for other large purchases.

You can't just hand him money and expect him to know how to handle it responsibly. Teach him. Show him that he can open a savings account, CD, online savings, 529 plan, etc. Let him know what his options are for the money that he does save.

I wish my parents had taken the time to teach me money management skills.

[KerryS]

Would it be wrong for me to give him $15 every two weeks and then put the other $10 into a savings account?

IMO not wrong at all. I feel it's a duty of me as a parent to impress upon my children the importance of saving money. As such, they only get half of their allowance in cash, and the rest is put into savings.

FWIW, my son (11) gets $20 every other week. $10 goes into savings. And it IS tied to chores - he doesn't do his chores, he doesn't get an allowance.

[WalkingTittyBar]

Thanks for all the input here. We had the dreaded talk, but it actually went really well. I think ds was a little relieved that I was going to help him start saving.

Here is our new plan. He will get $13 every two weeks ($26 monthly) to do want he wants with. It isnt tied to his regular chores because he has to do those regardless. He can still earn the remaining $24 by doing extra chores. So Im not exactly cutting his allowance, he just has to earn part of it now.

As for the saving part, I showed him how much he could have if he puts $20 a month into a savings account for a year, then five years, etc. He thought that was awesome. So he wants to start saving the money he earns by doing extra chores.

I also plan to match that money like Icono does every six months. Im just not going to tell ds yet though. I want to surprise him with it.