Advice please regarding fostering and a friend

[chinapiggy]

My heart is aching. I just met my neighbor this month but I feel so close to her. She is so sweet and such a great mom. She is about to lose her foster child whom she has had since newborn. The mom got her back once and lost her. There were several other close calls but the mother always slipped back. I do not know all the details just that the mom won.

What can I do for my neighbor? I feel for her. My heart just aches for her. I know she knew what she was getting into. I know it is good for the mom to finally get it together and keep the family together. I just want to do something for this mom without overstepping boundaries. What would make you feel better?

[ima062002]

Offer your shoulder. Say that you couldn't imagine losing a child like this (it *is* her child isn't it?) and tell her that she is welcome to cry on your shoulder any time. Inquire about her in the weeks and months coming. Most people will feel awkward or they move on and never think about the girl anymore. Do you know when she got her? The date or month? You could do a yearly flower arrangement or something to commemorate this. To celebrate that this foster momma took in a child and took care of her, loved her, cherished her. It's what I would do if a friend lost a child to illness.

[Nipple_nectar]

I have been a foster parent to over 22 children in the last eleven years:) From a BTDT perspective, the most awesome gift I ever got was a gift certificate to Picture people and I was able to go get professional portraits of the child with us.

I make it a point to always take my new kids for portraits with my own kids all grouped together, it has cemented us all together.

Now, in hindsight, I am so glad to see those kids and my own at different points of our lives, commemorated by photos.

[chinapiggy]

I think the picture idea sounds great. I will look into that. I understand the process and know she knew what she was getting into. However, this is really hard for everyone involved. I just want to be there for her and lend a shoulder. I was thinking of making a dinner for her so she has at least one extra night to spend with the little girl. They also have 5 daughters to explain this to and help them through it. Thanks for your input. I never thought of the pic idea before.