CPS came to my house yesterday

[3girls2luv]

Apparently my neighbors are having marital problems and she took off with the kids and her MIL called CPS and told them that the children were in danger.

She left Sunday and has not been seen of heard from. They asked me if I thought the children were in danger and I told them no. She would not hurt these girls, though she may not be the best mom in the world, I know that she would keep them safe. Her MIL was yelling at me saying "tell them about the lice and the worms and the flea bites!" I told them that her MIL has many dogs in the house that have fleas and that she got the girls treated for lice and parasites.

What a mess! I called my neighbor and her phone is off, she is not at work cuz I passed by on my way to work and I don't know where her mom lives. I have a feeling she will be contacting me since I am basically her only "friend". Did I do the right thing? I honestly don't think she would put her girls in danger except for maybe not buckling them in thier car seats/seat belt correctly but I don't see how CPS would take them away for that or the lice, fleas, or parasites. Our CPS system is so weird here.

[jessiehannan]

Those poor babies are probably so scared and don't know what the hell is going on.
If you honestly don't think the girls are in danger, then yes I would say you did the right thing.
I'm assuming that they lived with the MIL, hence the fleas, and parasites, and it sounds like
your neighbor removed her girls from an unhealthy situation, and that her MIL is a PITA.

[Tiffearni]

ITA with JessieHannan

[Hollywith2Akidz]

I ditto above comments!

[still_me]

From what you have written in the past, it seems like she IS an unfit mother. Didn't you mention before that she doesn't take care of them and does have the urge to?

AND didn't you help her with the lice and worms? Wasn't she letting them live like that. I could be wrong, but that is how I remember those posts going.

ETA: SingingMom's post made me realize that I shouldn't have said she was an unfit mother. I should have said she is a mother who's children were living in an unfit situation.

[SingingMom]

It's not your job to judge whether she's a fit mother. It's just your job to tell the truth.

You should tell CPS the truth. All of it. No, you don't think the girls are in danger. Yes, there were worms and lice and fleas. There might be an issue with neglect. There is an issue with not buckling the kids into carseats.

It's up to CPS to figure out the rest. The worker will decide if there's a pattern of neglect or indications of other problems. The worker may find out things you don't know. And the worker is the one responsible for making the hard calls. But he or she cannot possibly do the job if they don't get the whole story.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

But he or she cannot possibly do the job if they don't get the whole story.
I agree. From what you've written about this mother, the kids are better off living away from their parents IMO.

[3girls2luv]

I agree that she neglectful as far as their hygeine but she did do something about with my help and guidance. The parasite thing would have to come from her pedi bc only he could know for sure if they were treated. I did not think at the time that these children were in danger so I answered that question honestly.

The MIL was yelling over the workers shoulder but yet the worker did not ask me if that was true but I did tell her that she treated the lice and that the dogs belonged to the MIL.

My mom called and said that they were knocking on the door again but she did not answer because she did not want to get involved and she is watching my baby and another baby right now. I am sure they will come back later.

[CatEyes]

What a mess.

[Nipple_nectar]

What a mess.

Agreed.

[3girls2luv]

She just called me and she is at her SIL which is inland from here since the hurricane is upon us so they are safe.

I told her that CPS is looking for her and she hit the roof! I told her to contact her MIL or her SO ASAP and tell them she is taking shelter bc of the storm and she will return when the weather clears. Her girls are fine and I spoke to the older one and she said she was eating stawberries with "angel cake and whit cream" and the baby is napping. Her SIL lives in a nice apartment and my dds have been there before so I think they are better off there at this time.

[QuiltyConscience]

She left to take the shelter from the storm and didn't tell her MIL or her SO?

If CPS is looking for her and you know where she is, I think you should call cps and let them know.

[3girls2luv]

I guess you are right QC I did not think of that. I will give them a call since they did give me their card.

She did not leave to take shelter but that is the reason she will not be coming back today.

[samiam]

Ugh. I don't think it is the worst thing in the world for CPS to be checking out mom regardless.

[steelady]

I don't understand.

Isn't this the woman about whom you were concerned? How is CPS not the people to tell what you shared with us?

This is the woman who wanted you to lie about her DD's adhd, correct?

If it is, I'm rather astounded that you just didn't tell them what you do know. And, it seems like a mother with mental health issues (that I recall, I may be mixing her up with someone) who disappears with her kids *is* a danger.

I admit, though, I may be missing some info.

[3girls2luv]

She is slow as far as her intelect but I would not say she was mentally ill. CPS only asked if I thought the children were in danger and I answered as honest as I could. I do not believe she would physically harm the girls. I did talk to them today and they asked about the lice, fleas, and parasites and they will be looking into that. They could not tell me wether they were going to contact her but that they have an open case at this time. I did tell them that she contacted me and I told them where she was but I did not know the physical address but I knew the kids were ok.

[steelady]

She is slow as far as her intelect but I would not say she was mentally ill. CPS only asked if I thought the children were in danger and I answered as honest as I could. I do not believe she would physically harm the girls. I did talk to them today and they asked about the lice, fleas, and parasites and they will be looking into that. They could not tell me wether they were going to contact her but that they have an open case at this time. I did tell them that she contacted me and I told them where she was but I did not know the physical address but I knew the kids were ok.


I had to go back and double check, I *was* confusing her with someone else.

However, it seems to me that your attitude today (that sounds MUCH snarkier than I intend, this is just an observation) doesn't jive with you writing:

There are two reasons why I have not said this to her. Her dd1 and dd2, I am concerned about them and if I stop talking to her she will not have any guidance at all. It scares me to think what could happen if I don't answer her phone calls when her dds are sick or injured..

Which doesn't mean much of anything, really. Just something that stuck out to me and wanted to point it out to you.

[3girls2luv]

She just does not seem to know what to do at times but she would not diliberately put them in danger. I know she needs help with her parenting skills but I could not tell the worker that I thought her dds were in *danger* because I did not believe they were. Had they asked me if I thought she needed parenting classes then I would have said yes.

Her SO told my Dh that she left because he spanked her older dd with a belt for pulling things out of the fridge because he would not feed her right then and there. The child is 6 and has ADHD and she does things like this from time to time from her mom tells me but this time her SO reacted physically and she left. This is such a mess I am afraid that CPS will take the kids away from both of them.

[QuiltyConscience]

From what you have posted before, I am a bit confused about something..

The MIL was screaming about the fleas and lice and parasites, yet don't they live at the MIL' s house? And did the MIL do anything to help get rid of the lice? Did the Father of these kids do anything about it either?

It does sound like a mess, and I hope these kids will get some help.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

Honestly, and I'll say this as gently as possible, but I think that you are grossly overstepping your boundaries. It's not your place to decide whether or not the children are in danger. It's not your call to make.

The idea that you would withhold information from CPS because you fear the children being removed from the home makes me feel a little ill, TBH. If I've read your posts wrong and you don't mean that, I apologize in advance.

[QuiltyConscience]

FWIW, CPS doesn't always just take children away.

[3girls2luv]

CPS asked me a question and I answered it. They are not going to make a judgement based on what I say, they just wanted a witness and apparently her MIL told them they could talk to me.

The MIL has done very little about the dogs and the fleas and she knew about the lice and parasites too. If CPS interviews me further then I will tell them what they need to know but at the time they only seemed interested in wether the kids were in danger or not. My guess is that they did not want to rush and remove the kids without getting all the details. They did not even flinch when the MIL mentioned the fleas they just asked again "ma'm do you feel that these children are in danger in their mother's care at this time?"

There may be more happening today now that the weather is improving and she will have to come back.

[3girls2luv]

My neighbor called and she said "CPS is taking my kids away!!!!" I asked her why and she said she did not know but her SO called and left her a message to get her "ass" home because CPS wants to take the kids. I am going to call me mom to see if she sees anything happening at their house. I don't know what to tell her, I gave her the number to the worker I talked to and I told her to call them bc I am at work and I have no idea what is going on.

[Indigo]

From your other posts about this she is neglectful at best. Now CPS is taking notice advocate that they get involved with these kids. If MIL has the animals that have feces and bugs everywhere advocate that she is not fit either.

[3girls2luv]

Dh is home right now and he said there is a lot going on at their house. She came home and apparently there was some kind of argument and the cops arrived. He does not see the kids though. DH said that no one has come by our house yet and I told him not to get involved unless they come knocking. I am not sure what will happen next at this point but I know I will be getting a call from either her of CPS or both.

[samiam]

I DO know with one of the foster families we dealth with over the years they took the newborn at a few months old (2?). The boys were born drug addicted. They took the next child though there was no drugs, I actually forget the 'reason'. It was kind of bogus. The reasoning behind it though was so that CPS could then open a case and follow that kid and mom to ensure her wellbeing. She stayed with my sister for a week before she was returned home and they pretty much told us that when they placed her with my sister.

I don't know if that helps but it seems like sometimes they DO take the kids away in order to get the most help they can to the parents and keep the kids safe.

Given the way it sounds her MIL is coming off, her reluctance to show her face and prove the kids are fine, the fact that obviously her and her so are fighting, mixed with all the issues MIL pulled out, it does not surprise me.

[3girls2luv]

Well if they do take the kids away I hope that it is to get them and her more help and I hope the girls are ok.