I got shortchanged by a daycare mom.

[Teresa64]

I Love being a WAHM. Really I do. I love kids and all my daycare kids are so much fun . Not perfect mind you and defintely challenging but fun. What I absolutely hate is there parents. One of my moms came in yesterday and only payed me part of what she was supposed to and basically told me I had to deal with it because she was broke and took part of what her husband gave her for me and used it to put gas in her car. Maybe its just the way she did it but it pissed me off. She already is so far behind on her payments and I am so frustrated with her. This is what I want to do. Give me ur opinions. I have the opportunity to take some drop in kids tomorrow but I can't take them unless I don't take 2 of my regular kids. I really need the cash so I was thinking about giving my daycare mom a choice. Pay me or don't bring ur kids tomorrow. I don't want to be a total bitch but....I need to support my family too.

[_MrsC_]

I'm sorry she put you in that position. I don't have the back bone to be a daycare provider. I've always made paying my DCP the top priority because I want to keep the person that spends so much time with child as happy as possible.

How far behind is she? Is she constantly behind or does she catch up farily quickly? If she is behind a large amount or never catches up I would go ahead and tell her that you need to go with the person who helps you provide for your family. (I say that, but know that I wouldn't really have the guts to do it).

[Teresa64]

Thats the problem. I don't have full-time replacements for them yet. She is consistantly 1 month behind. I'm a wimp too. I don't like being a bitch...but I have had enough. Maybe if I leave her high and dry once or twice she will catch on.

[NickNAK]

Absolutely tell her that you can no longer watch the children if she can't be bothered to pay you. It's a job for you, not a hobby. She is taking advantage of you. Don't be a doormat.

[jessiehannan]

When you first starting watching her kid/s, what was the agreement you made as far as payments and them being late?
Tell her that you can't watch them until she has paid you in full, and then tell her that if she doesn't pay x amount by x day and if she doesn't pay then you don't watch them until it is. Daycare centers are much harsher believe me.
Maybe call around some of the centers in your town and ask them what their policies are to get a good feel for how you should handle her.

[QuiltyConscience]

I think it's fair to tell her she has to pay you or she can't bring her kids. It is unreasonable for her to not pay you in a timely matter.

Every daycare I know of in this area has such a policy in place about paying on time, or they will not accept the kids.

[QuiltyConscience]

Thats the problem. I don't have full-time replacements for them yet. She is consistently 1 month behind. I'm a wimp too. I don't like being a bitch...but I have had enough. Maybe if I leave her high and dry once or twice she will catch on.

It is not being a bitch to expect to be paid for a job. The parent who is not paying you is the one in the wrong, not you.

If you go to the store to get groceries, you have to pay for them; You can't just tell the cashier, well, I don't have enough money, I'll pay you next week.

If she thinks she can not pay you on time and nothing bad happens, she will continue to do just that.

[SueDid]

I think you need to do that or she will continue to take advantage of you.

I had many similar situations when I did home daycare full time 20 years ago. I got stiffed the last week's pay one time, the mom stating that I did a crappy job, her husband hated me and I was an awful provider because I didn't potty train her 18 month old (who couldn't yet even finger feed himself) and didn't teach him anything (I guess sharing, getting along with other kids, and self feeding weren't enough.) Her husband chatted with me for 1/2 hour or more every time it was his turn to pick him up. She complained to me about how much I charged her (I gave her a cut rate to begin with because I felt sorry for her...big mistake.)

I did learn some lessons from it all, though. I have a 9 month old I watch part time right now (when grandparents aren't available) and am hoping to get one or two kids full time (or a few more part timers) and am going by word of mouth to get them, figuring if someone knows them I might have fewer problems with this sort of thing. While I might take late payment occasionally for an otherwise good client, "just dealing" with less than I'm owed will not happen more than once. Frankly I think you should drop her now if she already owes you money and is now shortchanging you as well.

It's one thing if they are really struggling and she makes previous arrangements to run a tab and pay a lesser amount for a short time (with a promise to catch up) but to just short change you and say you have to deal with it is unacceptable.

[chinapiggy]

You are providing her a service and she needs to pay for it. Plain and simple. If she would have been nicer about it saying please work with me or let us do a task for your house or some other kind of bargaining it would be different. She was just like who cares deal! I would have said right then and there that she can find someone else and just deal.

You will just keep getting walked on if you do not stand up for yourself. Make sure you have a written agreement next time though. That way you have something to take to court if you have to. I feel for you.

[samiam]

Honestly, I would do as you have said. I would tell her she needs to get back on track. Considering she is consistantly one month behind I would also tell her that you would like her to prepay a week ahead. It is not like she is out crusing the bars while the kids are with you, she is working and making money. It is not fair that that money is going toward whatever other bills or whatnot and not to you! There is NO reason for you not to be paid or for her to be one month behind. I would most definately put my foot down.

If you feel bad going that route I would state that she needs to pay up for the last week plus 1/4 of what she owes you from the previous month. She would need to do this for the next four weeks to be paid in full. I would not hesitate once she is paid up asking her to pay at the beginning of the week for the week of daycare.

People did this all to often with my mom when she did daycare. Some were great and paid ontime every week, others would just fall behind way too easily.

I too would feel differently if she were in dire straights or there was more to it. Even then though you are providing a service to her to make money and she should be paying it.

She might leave you high and dry but I would consider that almost cutting my losses at that point.

[TuetonicWillow]

There is nothing bitchy about demading payment for services rendered.

She doesn't pay, you don't work. These aren't your friends, they are your clients. You're not doing them a favor, you're working.

Tell her she has to catch up, pay in full and pay on time or she has to find another place for her child.

This is business, dear. Get used to it. Be firm. You deserve to paid for your work. That is not being a bitch that is being an adult looking out for her own best interests.

[Iconoclast]

I didn't read the whole thread. I would tell her she has until Friday (tomorrow)to get current, or she may not bring her kid(s) the following week. If she isn't completely up to date by Friday next, tell her she is not to return, ever. You ought to consider requiring payment in advance.

[mtmomma]

Absolutely tell her that you can no longer watch the children if she can't be bothered to pay you. It's a job for you, not a hobby. She is taking advantage of you. Don't be a doormat.

Well said!!
I had to do that a couple times. I also picked up a few drop in that came often & payed a little more for me taking them on short notice. So it kinda evened out They also became regulars. :-)

[HammBugga]

That is terrible. I would give her a week to pay up in full and start requiring advance payment. I paid my DCP upfront for the week to follow. I can't imagine stiffing the person who takes care of your child.

[NazirsMom]

I think it's fair to tell her she has to pay you or she can't bring her kids. It is unreasonable for her to not pay you in a timely matter.

Every daycare I know of in this area has such a policy in place about paying on time, or they will not accept the kids.

at ds's daycare...Money is due Monday at the latest...if you haven't paid by the time you pick your child up on Monday, don't even bring them on Tuesday unless you got some money in your hand.

[still_me]

There is nothing bitchy about demading payment for services rendered.

She doesn't pay, you don't work. These aren't your friends, they are your clients. You're not doing them a favor, you're working.

Tell her she has to catch up, pay in full and pay on time or she has to find another place for her child.

This is business, dear. Get used to it. Be firm. You deserve to paid for your work. That is not being a bitch that is being an adult looking out for her own best interests.


Willow is wise.


She only has a couple of options and bringing them to another daycare isn't solid. She might find another one, but she won't be there long if she doesn't pay.

I would tell her that you expect the rest of your payment for this month and that starting next month you will be getting a payment and a half to make up for the month she is behind. Have her sign an agreement. If she refuses tell her that she has until the end of the week to find another daycare.

[Iconoclast]

No kidding. OP, If I were you I'd change my payment scheme. I'd give everyone at least a months notice that effective 10/1!, they will need to pay in advance. They pay in advance for cable, their cell phone, their rent or mortagage, insurance, etc etc. You are really taing a chance letting them pay in arrears.

[VegasLactivist]

When I did daycare, you paid a week in advance, always. If you didn't show, you still had to pay to hold your place.

You need a serious backbone implant. Do not allow her to walk all over you. Obviously she doesn't respect you, or the INCREDIBLY important service you provide. You offer safe and loving care for her children, and she spits all over it. That's bullshit. DO NOT allow that another minute.

[KerryS]

Thats the problem. I don't have full-time replacements for them yet. She is consistantly 1 month behind. I'm a wimp too. I don't like being a bitch...but I have had enough. Maybe if I leave her high and dry once or twice she will catch on.

Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.

[Teresa64]

Thanks! I always feel horrible demanding payment so its nice to hear from other moms that you expect there to be consiquences for not paying daycare so maybe now I won't feel so bad. I am going to talk to her. I am also going to redo my contracts for all my daycare parents with rules on payment arrangements.

[MiMi_of_4]

Having a contract in place for prospective clients is a must, and you should require payment for the week on Mondays.

As far as this one, tell her she has until next Friday to pay all she owes you, or she will have to find another provider. It's not mean, and you may lose her child, in which case, you'll just have to cut your losses, but if you ask that all future clients sign a contract (money before service, late fees, etc.), you shouldn't run into this problem again.

[oomaumau04]

I agree that you absolutely should have a contract in place that clearly states your payment policies. Contracts should cover all financial questions, and both you and the parents/caregivers should sign them. And don't feel bad about making her pay you or not offering services....that is good business and you are in the right.

[Crabbie]

100% change your contract. My last DCP had us sign that if the payment was later than 5:30p on Monday we'd get fees. My current DCP has it even tighter. They MUST get paid by 9 am on Monday.

I'd re-do the contract this weekend and have it ready for all the parents to review and sign on Monday. Tell her that you'll no longer take her child since she can't make her childcare a priority. You'll continue to get used if you don't stand up to it now.

[FrznPolarAngel]

Having a contract in place for prospective clients is a must, and you should require payment for the week on Mondays.

As far as this one, tell her she has until next Friday to pay all she owes you, or she will have to find another provider. It's not mean, and you may lose her child, in which case, you'll just have to cut your losses, but if you ask that all future clients sign a contract (money before service, late fees, etc.), you shouldn't run into this problem again.

I agree with this and Crabbie. Write new contracts asap and have all parents read and sign them. If they don't agree, then you lose that child but I wouldn't think it would be tough to find new children to replace them. Around here, finding OPEN childcare is difficult at times.

Good luck. Terrible position to have to be in.

[JenniferH]

My kids were in three different daycares. I had to pay first and last week's payment up front and then paid every Monday at all three. I usually paid for two weeks at a time because I got paid every two weeks.

With preschool I pay first and last month's tuition now and then for each month on the first of that month.

Having parents pay at the start of the week is definitely not unusual.

[HIJKMommy]

I would include a late fee as well.

[xobehs]

When I did daycare, you paid a week in advance, always. If you didn't show, you still had to pay to hold your place.

You need a serious backbone implant. Do not allow her to walk all over you. Obviously she doesn't respect you, or the INCREDIBLY important service you provide. You offer safe and loving care for her children, and she spits all over it. That's bullshit. DO NOT allow that another minute.


This, and she doesn't give a shit about her kids if she won't pay. I could not fathom not ensuring my children's safe care by paying for it- if I couldn't damned skippy I wouldn't be dropping them off. She's a crack, drop her ass and charge her 10 a week she is late as well.

[samiam]

I would include a late fee as well.
Most daycares that I know of as well as my dd's preschool did this. It sucked when I was 8-9 months pregnant and I had to pick up my dsd from daycare at the time though. I was afraid to stop to pee on the hour trek home. If I caught a train I would have been late. Just 5 minutes late was like $15.00! Dh was out of town a lot so I was stuck. I would grab her and we would BOLT to the restroom:)

As a policy overall though I think it is a great idea. While being an in-home provider I would try to be more flexible, especially in an emergency or if it was a once in awhile thing I don't think it is a bad idea to have it in place.

[Justicedog]

No kidding. OP, If I were you I'd change my payment scheme. I'd give everyone at least a months notice that effective 10/1!, they will need to pay in advance. They pay in advance for cable, their cell phone, their rent or mortagage, insurance, etc etc. You are really taing a chance letting them pay in arrears.


Technically, you don't pay in advance for mortgage, nor utilities. However, it's perfectly reasonable to pay in advance for daycare.

I'd suggest a security deposit and/or pay on Monday for care. I'd also recommend putting it in writing, spelling out what the consequences are for not paying. I wonder if one can charge a late (payment) fee as well.

[Tufftitty]

Wow! You're being really nice. Too nice. You are not responsible for this woman, or her inability to pay for the childcare services you offer.

I have to pay for an entire month at a time, in advance. I have to pay for the entire month whether DS is there or not. The only exception is when I inform them two weeks in advance that he will be out for an entire week on vacation. I get 3 vacation weeks per year and they must be taken in whole week increments. I imagine there is a late fee if I don't pay on time. I know there is a late fee if I don't pick my child up on time $10.00 per minute. Speaking of which, I've got to go ...