I really miss my dad.

[3girls2luv]

His death anniverssary is on the 3rd but he died on a friday morning at 4:20am. It seems like yesterday I was holding his hand at this very hour and singing the Ave Maria to him (his favorite song). I miss him so very much.

We are having an anniversary mass for him on Sunday and my brother has turned it into a party.

The family is going to mass and after wards he is making a meal at his house and inviting people I dont even know. I just want to go to mass and then go home, I do not feel like celebrating. Would it be rude of me not to go to his house?

[Funmommy]

I can't answer that for you ... you have to think about yourself and not worry about what anyone else thinks. Do what you need to do for yourself. :hug:

Funmommy

[pattyk]

I don't think it would be rude but I'm sure your brother would miss your company. However, I can totally understand not wanting to be around people you don't know on such an emotional day.

My father is terminally ill cancer and I miss him already. He is expected to live for another month according to his hospice nurse but only God truly knows. His cancer has been the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. I didn't realize how much I love him. I am so sorry for your loss.

[3girls2luv]

I just hate to seem rude. My mom does not even want to go either we will probably just go to the cemetary and leave flowers and go home. I just can't help but think my bro is being selfish, I know its his house but this was *our* dad and my mom does not need to be around people she does not know especially if they will be drinking and haveing a good time like it was a party. Any other time would be just fine but if it were up to me I would just lock my self up in a room and cry all day but I need to be there for my dds and my mom.

[3girls2luv]

Stay close by to him patty and let him know you love him. I hope you are by his side when he dies because that is what helped me get through my dad's death. I kept my hand on his chest while he took his last breaths and was able to say good bye as he let go of life. He was there when I took my first breath and I got to be there when he took his last.

[camille97]

:( Your last post made me tear up, 3girls2luv. :(


I don't think it is selfish at all to not want to drink and be merry on your dad's death anniversary.

[3girls2luv]

I woke up at 4:19 this morning and I just sat on my dad's chair in the living room and cried but then I felt very peacful after that, it was like a cleansing feeling. He died on a Friday Aug. 3 at 4:20am.

[Laurens_Mom]

:hug:

[still_me]

I don't think it is rude if you don't go. I'd let him know that you just want to be alone on that day and that shouldn't hurt his feelings.

:hug:

[Olianna]

I'm so sorry. I don't think you should have to go and I would hope your brother will understand. Did the people he invited know your Dad?

I don't know what we will do on the anniversary of my Mom's death (she died in Feb.) but I imagine it will just be our very closest family sharing a meal and some memories. My Mom was cremated so there isn't a gravesite to visit.

I'm sorry pattyk. I know how very difficult it is. It still seems very surreal to me.

[bigstuffs3]

I'm so sorry you lost your dad. I don't think it would be rude not to go. I would totally understand if I was your brother.

[CatEyes]

:hug:

[3girls2luv]

I'm so sorry. I don't think you should have to go and I would hope your brother will understand. Did the people he invited know your Dad?

I don't know what we will do on the anniversary of my Mom's death (she died in Feb.) but I imagine it will just be our very closest family sharing a meal and some memories. My Mom was cremated so there isn't a gravesite to visit.

I'm sorry pattyk. I know how very difficult it is. It still seems very surreal to me.


No they did not know my dad and I do not know them either. She is my SIL co worker and she is bringing her BF and his friend.

[FrznPolarAngel]

My heart goes out to you. Death anniversaries are tough. **hugs**

I did pretty good last Christmas over at my hubbys grandparents until grandpa started talking about the precious last moments he was able to spend with his sister before she passed away. The floodgate of emotions opened. (My mother passed away on Christmas evening in 2006) I, too, was able to be with her to her last breath. I was expecting a dramatic death, but it wasn't, she was pain free and went very peacefully.

I don't think it is wrong of you not to want to go. Especially celebrating among those that your father or you didn't know. Everyone has their own way of celebrating deaths/memories, this may be your brothers way, you are not required to share it with him.