Sleep Deprivation Advice!!!!!

[Wilcox03]

Naturally, having a newborn, you will experience a certain extent of sleep deprivation...I know this already having a 2.5 yr old dd. I do co-sleep with my 5 week old, but its getting to the point where I'm only getting 4.5 hours of sleep total. I get no naps becuase I have a very active 2.5 yrd old and they never seem to sleep at the same time. Ones crying while the other is screaming, ones awake while ones asleep, yada, yada. My 5 week old cries/fusses from 8p to 1am, so I'm up until then. I know..fun. Then I wake usually at 4a to bf her. But its from 4a to 7a that kills me. She lays there next to me and grunts/makes noises/squirms (eyes still closed) and keeps me up and my oldest gets up at 8am so I HAVE to get up. I burp her at her 4a feeding, but alot of times I nod off, only to wake up to her grunting not too long after. Note: I'm so sleep deprived that I cannot keeps my eyes open sometimes to fully burp her. I'm just SO drained and zombie like that I can almost NOT function. I don't have family close enough to help me out and DH is helping out alot but he too is getting very drained and I feel bad cuz he works (just a 'me' thing). What do I do?!! I am really desperate in any kind of advice at this point. I need SOME sleep to be a better mommy to my kids and those around me!!! Oh..she won't sleep in her bassinett which is next to me..if she does its only for an hour at most.

[Bellaelle]

too bad about dh. you are also working. he can get up and help you. co sleeping did nothing for me., it tends to keep me awake. put baby in her bed while she is still somewhat awake.

[Funmommy]

Have you tried swaddlling her? It's the only way I can get my DD to sleep at night.

Funmommy

[irisheyes81]

Why don't you ask DH to keep the kids occupied on the weekends while you get some much needed sleep. My DH is usually constantly asking me to go get a nap on weekends...especially when our kids are newborns. Do you have any friends in the area, or maybe a trusted babysitter, that could maybe come over during the week just to keep an eye on the toddler for an hour or so while you get some sleep when the baby sleeps?

[hotlama]

sorry, I have no advice since I'm sleep deprived too. Just bumping for you.

[xobehs]

The Happiest Baby on the Block was so helpful for DH and I with DD when she was a little one. The late evening hours would have been disasterous without the tools we learned from the book.

[Wilcox03]

I will check out that book. Thanks! Ya, we swaddled her in the beginning days and it worked wonders, but now as she's getting older it seems, it doesn't work that well. I'm kinda wondering if she doesn't have acid reflux...but its just from what I've read...could just be normal newborn stuff. Right now we have her in bed with me after her fussy period, then after her 4a feeding, she gets put into her swing, otherwise her grunting/squirming keeps me up until older dd gets up at 7:30a. I just would really like dd in her bassinett, I'm afraid she'll get too used to the swing (forever long we do it) to get to sleep and we'll have more issues down the road when I want her to sleep in her own crib,etc.

[Amy_G_]

the no cry sleep solution has some ideas that may help you out.

I would work to get up in the morning and take baby outside to get sunlight on baby's retina first thing when your older daughter wakes up. helps to reset baby's internal clock that daytime is awake time. After a few days of getting extra sunlight on baby's retina, it may help the staying up so late at night crying.

At least once a day that baby is likely to be sleeping, for your older daughter to have quiet snuggle time with mom. Safe room--like your bedroom, baby's room or toddler's room. When baby goes down to sleep,you go into the same room or the safe room with a baby monitor, and you put on a little movie, set up some quiet play things, snack for toddler and close the door, set a timer for an hour and lay down yourself for a nap. You may want to pick up a few new toys at the dollar store or similar, to give your daughter to bribe her to let you close your eyes for a half hour or hour. Your toddler doesn't have to sleep, but let her know that mommy is exhausted and you need to close your eyes for a little while.

In the evenings, I would try to get everything as set as possible before the evening witching hours start with baby. dinner in the crockpot early in the evening, so when it's time to eat, it won't take much time. baby in a sling or carrier so you can still function a bit while baby cries.


Try to get to the bottom of why baby is crying, whether it's colic or what? Put dad in charge of baby and toddler for at least a good hour once he gets home-- and go lay down. He can feed them dinner, he can take em both for a walk, he can read to the two of them together, whatever he can think of.

when it hits early bedtime, go to bed with baby to continue nursing or whatever. Dad will be on duty to keep the two of you safe, and give your older child some reading, bathtime, whatever. Dad can also come in and burp baby a time or two--but often my babes never much burped when night nursing. Nursing in a quiet, dark room may help baby to settle down. The extra noise, tv on, dad has just come home from work, mom is tired, sister is hungry and fussy, all the hustle and bustle of the evening just winds up baby. sometimes retreating to the quiet dark will help better than trying to work thru it out in the rest of the house with the rest of the family.



on weekends, get dad to let you sleep in a bit. during the week, see if a neighbor could watch your 2.5 yr old, or if there is a teenaged girl that could keep an eye on her in your house, while you lay down with baby for an hour or two during the afternoon.

hope something makes sense, it's getting kinda late.

[cream_city]

Have you tried putting her to bed before the 8 pm fussing starts? Like at 7 pm? Maybe she's overtired and can't settle again for some reason?

That's a long time to fuss -- I feel so badly for you!

If she's only sleeping from 1-7 a.m., does she sleep a lot during the day? Maybe shorten her daytime sleep so she'll cluster her sleep at night?

Good luck!

[jessiehannan]

Sam was grunting and squirming at night, and wanted to suck but wasn't hungry. I ended up giving her a soothie and it works wonders. (She is a funny little thing. If she wants to suck but isn't hungry, she gets angry if there is milk coming out.) Sometimes all it takes is just me laying my hand on top of her tummy to calm her down. Do you drink anything with caffiene in it after 2 pm? if so, that could be a culprit. Snuggling her closer when she first starts to squirm may help. All of my kids had to be plastered against me with their head in my armpit to sleep. Definitely get DH to let you sleep in on the weekends, and institute 'family naps' on weekends. Everyone goes to their rooms and is quiet/sleeps, including Mommy and Daddy. Hope you get some sleep soon.