Help! Do you think my son is weaning himself?

[Sammy07]

I am desperate for advice as to whether or not my ds is weaning himself. This is my first baby (11 months old) and I have been crying all day because I think he might be done nursing. About 4 days ago he cut out one of his normal feedings and then the next day another and today he hasn't nursed at all. I offer it to him and he turns his head away. If I try too hard he starts to fuss. He just started drinking breast milk from a cup when he sits down for his solids and seems to love it cold which is a new thing. I suspect he might be getting teeth 9 and 10 but I can't see them quite yet. He always nursed when he was getting teeth 1-8 but maybe just nursed a little less and his sleeping was a little off. He just started sleeping through the night a few weeks ago and then it all kind of fell to pieces about 7 days ago. He's slept through the night for the last 2 nights. What is going on? Should I just get over it and accept the fact that my baby is growing up? Is there anything I can do to prolong nursing? I started out breastfeeding with no expecations and now love it so much that I can't imagine being done. What is the hand, mouth, foot thing I have seen pop up a few times?

I have a feeling that he's so busy with trying to walk that he is just too busy to take the time to nurse now. :(

[Jessie81]

Babies dont wean before one and rarely before 18mos. It might be teeth and he is interested in the world. Take time outs with him in a dark quiet room- maybe lie down with him to nurse around nap time. Is he eating alot of solids? Maybe cut back a little.

[madelsmama]

I agree with Jessie81. Weaning doesn't happen abuptly and rarely before 18 months. Sounds more like a nursing strike. How much solid intake does he have?

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

[Sammy07]

Thank you both so much for your responses. Ds is eating solids, quite a bit actually. He's been eating breakfast and dinner for quite a while now and I recently introduced lunch as well. He is great with his sippy cup and when I noticed a decline in his bf I started offering him some milk in his cup with his meals (in addition to his cup of water). I was hesitant at first thinking that if I did this he would have no reason to start bf again but bottom line is that I want him to have the milk and do not want him to ever feel like I won't give him what he needs. I know his hungry whine and he as been doing it, just doesn't want my breast. I was honestly quite surprised at how willing and excited he was to drink cold breastmilk from his cup. He's very independent and wants to do most of the feeding himself (ie lots of finger foods) and I've encouraged this. He is still getting oatmeal in the am and cereal for dinner. I never introduced jarred baby food and have made all of his food myself so he's mostly still getting a lot of diced up fruits, vegies, cheese, crackers and dry cereal. I only recently offered him homemade mac and cheese. He's never had cows milk but has had cheese and today I introduced him to yogurt.

I've thought about this a lot as I've been crying my eyes out for days. At this point I think I am going to continue pumping as long as my supply will last. My ultimate goal will be until he's 12 months (another month). I am going to continue to offer him my breast frequently and also lots of skin to skin contact. Last night we had a bath together. I am not going to force him. At this point I am much more traumatized then he is. He's is surprisingly fine, which is horriblly painful for me. Whatever is meant to be will be and I will cope with it the best I can. I have some milk in my freezer and plan to use it if I can't get him to nurse again. He will pinch my nipples but that's it. :(

[Joyto5]

Sounds like a nursing strike. He's also very active and busy exploring. 2 of my 5 kids weaned around 11 months. They acted just like yours. My last one I toughed it out and was able to pump (I was also donating to a nephew so pumping was no thing for me) during the rough times. He just weaned recently at 2 years 7 months.

Keep offering it, skin to skin, make it available and all will work out. If you want to continue to BFed I'm sure he will come around again. Even if it's once or twice a day. It's a comfort thing only you can give him. :hug:

[Sammy07]

Thank you so much for your post! You've given me hope, honestly! Yes, he is very very busy. Trying to walk and is curious about everything. Wants to be down on the ground all the time. How long did your babies go on their strikes before nursing again at 11 months?

[threefunboys]

I had two babies "self wean" around 8-9 months. It was a long time ago, so I don't remember all the specifics (maybe it was just a nursing strike?). I have heard of a bunch of people whose babies self weaned before 12 months. I went through the emotions you're going through. But once I got past feeling bad that I couldn't make it to a year, and realized that bottle feeding isn't evil (lol) we were both fine. This is my view--it's better to let a baby wean at nearly a year than try to "force" him to continue to nurse, then have the issue of getting him to stop nursing later on. For me, it was better to wean 3 months early than to struggle with it, feeling stressed and confused, just to have to struggle about weaning in a few more months.

I think, also, that it depends on WHY you want to keep nursing. if it's for your own satisfaction, perhaps it's best to let it go. BFing is supposed to be for the child first, and for the mom second. If a mother is nursing on her baby to fill her own emotional needs, but the baby isn't enjoying it also, that is an unhealthy relationship, IMO. If your DS isn't just striking, but is truly ready to wean, perhaps you should let him. Believe me--I know it is hard! They grow up way too fast. But your baby's needs should be put first. I don't even pretend to know if it's a strike or real weaning. Only you can know that.

But I think it's good to wean around 12 months (18 would be pushing it for me). If you think nursing to age 2 or beyond is what you want to do, disregard my post.

[StinkerTinker]

Hang in there hun! I agree, it's probably a nursing strike.

My little girl is almost 12 months, she has been walking for 2 months now and when she started walking she wanted no part of nursing during the day. She'd start nursing then would get up and act like she was too busy, it passed. Since she won't drink BM from her sippy she just gave in or would try to nurse more in the morning and during that night. Just keep a positive mind about it. I think he will probably come around.