More MIL complaining

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

Seriously, I know how boring it is. But I can't blog about it because dh reads my blog and I don't want it to sound as if I hate everything his mother does.

Even though I do. Heh.

I wrote the other day about how she was calling many times a day to see if I'd gone into labor (I need to gently remind dh that we have an agreement that only birthing party people are to know before the baby comes). Apparently that's not good enough for her since we ignore a lot of those phone calls.

So last night she wanted to know if we wanted some vegetables. She is tending to a friend's garden while the friend is on vacation. The friend told her that whatever was ripe MIL could have so MIL asked if we wanted it.

She gave us 6 grocery bags full of tomatoes, 5 of sweet corn, and a big bag of okra. I'm super excited about this bounty. We'll simply freeze the ears of corn (we have a vacuum sealer) and I'll turn the tomatoes into pasta sauce, ketchup, barbeque sauce, and so on. With my food processor it's really a snap and most of the 'work' is in waiting for the sauce to boil down.

But what does MIL say? "I'll be over tomorrow to help you can the tomatoes."

"rant" So I can expect her to be here all day. It's the day before my second, later due date. I *know* she's hoping to just 'happen' to be here when I go into labor since her phone call scheme isn't working.

I told her that I wouldn't need any help, that I'd be making sauce and it's easy, but then later dh mentioned that she'd bring a bag of onions so I guess she's still planning on coming. That annoys me too, that she never takes a hint and that she decides when to come over instead of being invited or it being a mutual thing.

If this is the last day that I'm pregnant (and it likely won't be but you never know) why would she think that I'd want to spend it with her?

((And I realize the hypocrisy because I was bitching several weeks ago that she came over to my house and took some of the food I'd made. Now she's at least wanting to help. Chalk it up to me knowing her so long that anything she does grates on my nerves. That and I'm 40 weeks pregnant--or almost 41 depending on which due date you want to play with))

[babymakes4]

sorry sweetie! You have two choices I guess, put up with her for the day, or don't answer the door. LOL. I feel for you, I really do. take it easy mamma and enjoy your last days pregnant (as much as you can) :hug:

[still_me]

Today would be a great day to have a baby. :D Selfish reasons of course.

[haleysmom]

((And I realize the hypocrisy because I was bitching several weeks ago that she came over to my house and took some of the food I'd made. Now she's at least wanting to help.


I don't think that is hypocritical. She took the food when she wanted to... now she wants to "help" on her terms. When and how SHE wants to. In my book, that's not help. Help is asking what you need and when you need it. Especially when you are so pregnant.

Lock the door and hide :peeking"

[jessiehannan]

You could always take the knobs off the stove and when she gets there tell her that you don't know what happened to them, maybe the kids got ahold of them.

[cream_city]

No advice, but sympathy! Your MIL sounds like a nightmare, honestly. I hope the day isn't horrible.

[Jacksmommy]

I'd be annoyed by someone who forced her presence on me, too. Is there no way to tell her that today just isn't a good day for company?

[leosmommy]

Just go off on her when she arrives, throw tomatoes, scream obsentities, and run into the yard naked. Then later blame it on being sooo pregnant you went momentarily insane. If this plan seems unworkable just tell her that while you appreciate her offer you are really tired and plan to spend the day resting in peace and quiet with your family.

[Joyto5]

Just go off on her when she arrives, throw tomatoes, scream obsentities, and run into the yard naked. Then later blame it on being sooo pregnant you went momentarily insane. If this plan seems unworkable just tell her that while you appreciate her offer you are really tired and plan to spend the day resting in peace and quiet with your family.
*SNORT*

I would tell her you don't feel up to any company and need some quiet time. Ponder and think about upcoming events, uninterrupted.

Not to rag on ya Sweety, I wish my MIL were around to complaine about. After living in the same house with her for 7 years I kind of miss her. She passed away May of last year. I don't know, Perhaps think about how things may be without her around. May help keep you sane while she's there.

[JustMoi]

Honestly, I think it's time for a serious discussion with DH. He should be running interference for you, and he's not. I'd tell him that I do NOT want his mother around unless I specifically invite her and he needs to tell her so in so many words if necessary. That she is stressing me out more with her constant badgering and his ineffectual behavior isn't helping.

[Sameach]

Honestly, I think it's time for a serious discussion with DH. He should be running interference for you, and he's not. I'd tell him that I do NOT want his mother around unless I specifically invite her and he needs to tell her so in so many words if necessary. That she is stressing me out more with her constant badgering and his ineffectual behavior isn't helping.

ITA. Your extreme negativity toward your MIL seems pretty unhealthy. Is there a counselor you could go to who might be able to give you some personal coping techniques? This much anger can't be good for you.

[Teresa64]

I would be just as frustrated. Dealing with these situations always cause unwanted tenstion in my household. I would grin and bear it. And hope that baby stays put at least till she goes home.

[xobehs]

Today would be a great day to have a baby. :D Selfish reasons of course.
Ha, we think alike yet again!

[Babyhellfire]

Honestly, I think it's time for a serious discussion with DH. He should be running interference for you, and he's not. I'd tell him that I do NOT want his mother around unless I specifically invite her and he needs to tell her so in so many words if necessary. That she is stressing me out more with her constant badgering and his ineffectual behavior isn't helping.


This!! this! exactly this!
Dh MIL is very similar and dh learned long ago he would need to sometimes be the go between for such things... especially since she took a bit more offense when such things would come from me,no matter HOW polite.
And- honestly, if she is anything like MY MIL, you think it is bad NOW(her coming over uninvited) wait till you have a newborn.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

That horrid woman, being excited about the arrival of her new grandbaby.

Well, she has three Sasha grandchildren that live here that she ignores...

She's upset that she's not in control of this situation. Luckily, while she was here all day yesterday, she spent the time with dh.

[SingingMom]

I think you should invent something that you will be doing all day. Something ridiculous. Tell her you will be spending the day doing Tibetan meditation or something. And tell her clearly that you need to be alone- say "I do not want you to come over. Thanks."

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

*snort* I should tell her that my midwife suggests, as I am post-dates, to have sex multiple times a day and that she should really call/knock before she comes over.

[Funmommy]

*snort* I should tell her that my midwife suggests, as I am post-dates, to have sex multiple times a day and that she should really call/knock before she comes over.

I absolutely LOVE this one :roflol

Funmommy

[KalyMom]

::Snort:: Seriously do the sex thing and then if she comes over unannounced take all you clothes off and answer the door naked. If you could have messed hair and be sweaty that would be a plus. That will teach her.

[Nursh]

She sounds intrusive and annoying. I imagine being a thousand years pregnant and dealing with that would send me over the freakin' edge. Tell you DH to step and and put her in her place. Ugh. Good luck to you, Momma!!

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

She is really intrusive. My pregnancy hormones make it worse, of course, but we've never been friends.

Did anyone watch the sitcom "Roseanne"? She is totally Roseanne's mom, Beverly Harris, only more controlling. She thinks that dh and I don't have enough brains to come in out of the rain. I think she fancies herself this Italian Catholic matriarch (even though she's not Italian, dh's dad's side is and apparently she gave up her heritage when she got married) and doesn't understand why we don't see her in this role.

For example, I have a Sheltie. It's hot here. Shelties are originally from the Shetland Islands, which are cold. I had dh use his sheep shears to shave Roman so that he would be more comfortable. Since he no longer has a double coat of long hair to protect him he's gotten some scratches from the other dog, briars, and so on. When MIL came in yesterday and saw him she said, "Look at all of his scratches! I guess you can't shave very well, huh?" to dh. She was dead serious. Um, this is a man who is a shepard.

Another great comment--we have a few barn cats. They were lazing around on the porch when she came in. She looks at dh as if he's an imbecile and says, "Don't you think those cats out there might want some, I don't know, water?"

Dh doesn't skip a beat. "There is plenty of water for them. In the barn."

[Nursh]

She's sounds like a real peach. I couldn't stand Beverly Harris. I feel for you!

[babymakes4]

lol, sasha, I feel for you! Ever watch Everybody Loves Raymond? Marie is my MIL. seriously.

[Justicedog]

Ok, not to change the subject, but, can I have your pasta sauce recipe?

[Suzette]

*snort* I should tell her that my midwife suggests, as I am post-dates, to have sex multiple times a day and that she should really call/knock before she comes over.

Good heavens no! She'll even find a way to tell you you're doing THAT wrong!

[CatSoup]

I'm so glad I have the MIL I do.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

Ok, not to change the subject, but, can I have your pasta sauce recipe?

It's not fancy. I start by throwing a nice-sized onion, diced, into a pot heated with some olive oil. I add a diced sweet pepper (red or green, depending on what I have on hand), a stalk of celery, and a couple of cloves of garlic (don't let them get too brown or they get bitter).

When those get tender I add tomatoes (whatever paste tomatoes my garden has at any given time, or you could use a couple of cans of crushed tomatoes. If you go that route I would use fire-roasted since they have a nice flavor to them). Since I grow paste tomatoes I don't seed and peel, which saves me a lot of time, although I do run them through the food processor before adding them to the pot.

I let that simmer for awhile--30 to 45 minutes or so. I'm very imprecise. I add salt, fresh basil leaves, and any other Italian seasonings that might taste good. If the sauce seems watery I add some tomato paste or you can just let it boil down longer.

Since tomatoes are borderline on the acidic scale I don't can my sauce, I freeze it.

[Justicedog]

So, paste tomatos are different than other tomatos I take it. I would just skin the regular tomatos and deseed them and I'd get paste?

The only thing that did well in my garden this year are the tomatos and basil. The only think I make with tomatos is salsa (very boring - diced onion, diced tomatos, salt, maybe garlic powder) but I wanted to try pasta sauce this year. I may be getting a pepper plant to produce later on. If you freeze pasta sauce, do you think freezing salsa would be ok?

I'm such a non-cook, but I want to start growing my own stuff. You're an inspiration to me on that Sasha.

Thanks.

[Babyhellfire]

Did anyone watch the sitcom "Roseanne"? She is totally Roseanne's mom, Beverly Harris, only more controlling.

OMG,no way,are we related?! DH himself has said that about his own mother!
She has even said some of the exact things Bev did.
"rant"

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

Yes, just skin and deseed. Paste tomatoes just have more 'body' and less seeds--romas are paste tomatoes. We freeze salsa too. Do you like pesto? That's a great way to use up a lot of basil leaves and, oh, it tastes so good!

[Justicedog]

I haven't tried pesto, I was thinking of it after reading your posts about your MIL taking some. I don't have a food processer, I imagine a blender would work. The recipes I see call for nuts of some sort and dh doesn't like nuts, so that may be an issue.