help -- kindergarten schedule?

[cream_city]

I've been posting about what a hard time my 5 y.o. is having right now.

He is scheduled to start full-day Kindergarten at a new school (public school) in two weeks.

I don't feel like he is going to be handle the full day program, given where he's at right now. They offer a half-day program (the kids are mixed in with the regular full-day classrooms -- they just leave early), and my husband and I agree that he will be much more successful going for half days.

Here's the problem: my job is full-time but with flexible hours. I could pick him up at 11:30 a.m. on MWF, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays I teach and cannot.

Do you think it would be better to have him go full time, or to have him do mornings 3x/week and a full day 2x/week. He did have a schedule like this a couple years ago in preschool, and he seemed good at understanding the two schedules. He knew there were "long days" and "short days."

We don't think we'll be able to get a babysitter for T and Th afternoons.

Thoughts, opinions?

[jessiehannan]

I would give it a try at full days, and then if he is having a hard time with full days switch over to the long days/short days routine.

[Amy_G_]

Does the school even offer the option of full/half days?
And I honestly wouldn't start him in school until some of the other issues are at least partially resolved. Have you contacted the school district about the situation?

[haleysmom]

When are you due to see the doctor/psychologist. (I don't remember which you said) Maybe they can help you since they have experience with these type of situations?

[cream_city]

Does the school even offer the option of full/half days?
And I honestly wouldn't start him in school until some of the other issues are at least partially resolved. Have you contacted the school district about the situation?

Can you tell I'm still in shock with no clue what to do? Sigh.

We can't not send him. Since we both work full-time -- even with my flexible schedule -- I can't not have him in school/care at all. He'll be out of daycare the next two weeks, which is okay, since I'm on summer break still.

Anyway, we're checking with the school to see if we can do this. I tend to think yes. What we're saying is that he'd be technically enrolled full time, but since he has issues going on right now, we want to make a slow transition. Thus, he'd start with half-days 3x/week and move up to full-time at some point during the year.

They did say that most kids who start half-days move up to full-time before the end of the year, so I'm thinking it's not completely unprecedented.

I'm trying to find a babysitter that I can trust, but it's hard to find someone who's free from 11:30 - 3:30 on T, Th. Most students are in school then, and I just can't trust someone I don't know. I'm asking an old babysitter who I trust, and a student I had last semester...

Honestly, this is a nightmare.

[cream_city]

When are you due to see the doctor/psychologist. (I don't remember which you said) Maybe they can help you since they have experience with these type of situations?

I talked with the therapist who has met him only once yesterday. She's the one who suggested half-days.

I'll be seeing a "behavioral pediatrician" with him today. I am going to ask him what he thinks of the mixed schedule.

It's hard, because nobody really has had a chance to get to know him yet. I *think* he could handle the changing schedule, but I'm worried.

I'm worried about everything right now. I just want to make the best decision for him.

[Amy_G_]

Until you get the abuse/acting out situation at least started to be figured out--it's going to be very hard to put him into a regular kindergarten classroom, and I'd still be wary of any babysitters as well. Talk to the school about his issues, he may need to be evaluated for a 504 or IEP. Our school has a special needs self contained classroom that is for kids with high emotional needs that act out and they are not safe with the other kids at this time. most of the kids with counseling, therapy, etc are able to transition out of that classroom. They actually have about 5 kids in k-3 in one classroom, and about the same in a 4-6 and 7-8 classroom for emotional needs children. If your school doesn't have such services, consider asking about alternative placement until he can be safe around other kids--regardless of the reason for his actions.

yes, that does mean that not only will he be starting kindergarten, but you'll need to face this whole thing head on and at full speed. You can't hide from the problem, and placing him in full or half day kindergarten that he's going to get kicked out of because of his actions may make this much much harder on him and on the resolution of this issue.

[Amy_G_]

Is kindergarten optional in your state? If it's mandatory in your state for kids to start school at say age 5, then the school has to find an appropriate placement for your child to provide him an education. the problem will be that if his needs are beyond the school's abilities, and kindergarten is optional, they may refuse to accept him. I'm not positive on the legalities regarding all of this, you should start to educate yourself on the law in regard to a free and appropriate education for an emotional needs child, if you think that is his issue and the counselors agree. they should be able to help you out if he needs accomodation in the classroom of some kind, but you need to educate yourself.

I know I'm pushing the idea that he may be an emotional needs child. but most of our kids go thru a time when they are more needy, emotional and even unstable than others. usually we can deal with it at home and it doesn't necessarily ever effect their school life. your child has had an issue that effected his school life already (even though only preschool) and it may happen again in kindergarten. Getting everything for him resolved before school starts may be impossible, but starting the ball rolling now for not only evaluation, but accomodation in the classroom is imperative.

[cream_city]

Amy -- Thank you for your responses. It's all good stuff to think about.

We are meeting with a behavioral pediatrician today -- he's the one recommended by both our ped and the school (I guess he has a very good reputation). They seemed to think he'd be best as opposed to a pediatric psychologist, though he works in practice with one. So we should be getting an evaluation of sorts in the coming weeks.

School isn't required here until age 6.

I do want him to start kinder this fall, in a normal class. Given that what happened at school Wed. was an isolated incident and that he has said there was no one who touched him, talked to him, showed him, etc things of a sexual nature -- our ped actually thinks it is most likely that this is an inappropriate stress response.

Both the school and the ped told us -- when I asked -- that we didn't need to mention this to his school.

So while I don't want to underreact, I also don't want to overreact.

[kohlby]

Without being the parent of your child, I really can't say what I'd do in your position for him definately. However, if it was my son's personality, I'd do the half days and get a sitter. There are several who do in-home daycare. Or even placing an ad for a babysitter and checking it carefully. (It took me four weeks to find a sitter I was comfortable with but my kids finally had their first sitter a few weeks ago. I found her through Craigslist, which I was leary of but it worked - and everything else I had tried wasn't working). Maybe you could even find a SAHM who wants to earn a little extra money. If I had a friend who wanted to pay me for afternoon childcare just twice a week, I'd definately say yes.

*We're homeschooling. And though NCLB was definately a huge reason for my decision, whole day kindy was another reason. There's no way I feel my son is ready for all day kindergarten.

[cream_city]

Kohlby -- We're having a former student of mine over this evening for an interview. Hopefully she'll be able to watch him those two afternoons/week.

Fingers crossed!

[Amy_G_]

while I understand not telling the public school about the issue that arose at the preschool--from the little you've said online, if I were to put myself in the place of the public school, it might really help to have a heads up. yeah, you don't want to give people preconceived notions, but sometimes you have to in order to make school a better/safer/less stressful place for your child. Please discuss this with the new person you are meeting with and think of your options. you don't want the elementary school to be completely unprepared and blind side them if an avoidable situation does occur. I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes.

[cream_city]

Amy, I talked to the behavioral ped today and he said the same -- he wasn't sure what he would do in my shoes. He had the same point of view as you. He did say he would speak with them if I wanted him to. He also seemed to think the regular classroom would be appropriate in this case, though he'll be meeting with my son again to continue evaluating him for the special needs issues that this whole long saga began with (sensory disorder, social issues, etc).

Since it won't affect the classroom assignment, I have 2 weeks to decide what/how much to tell the school. I have to decide on the half day kindergarten thing asap, but I'm going to at least wait on deciding to notify the school or not of what happened Wed. for a week or so.

The meeting with my former student went really well this evening. I think that all half days will work out, which is as close to keeping him home until things settle down as I can come right now.

Also, it'll be good to have a few extra afternoons/week to make it to therapy, OT, etc. appointments -- I had no idea how we were going to fit those in after 3:30!