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View Full Version : I hate the ped's office (long)


Sashahomeschoolmama
08-22-2008, 11:10 PM
Dh and I really struggled over the PKU test while I was pregnant. I was pretty 'meh' about it (not to make light of any metabolic illnesses) and he wasn't much more concerned than I was. We asked the midwife her advice and she brought up the deciding factor for us--if, just if, we had to take Sergei to the doctor or hospital in the weeks after his birth and it became known that he hadn't had the PKU test it would look really bad for us. Homebirthing non-vaxxers who didn't do the PKU. Awful.

So, as a cover-our-ass measure, we begrudgingly decided to do this test.

Our midwife recommended this certain pediatrician, Dr. F. Dr. F is apparently homebirth-friendly, okay with non-vaccinating, and so on. She cautioned us against Dr. M and Dr. L, two other pediatricians who practice with the same group as Dr. F. Now, I know Dr. L, as he is London, Alex, and Holden's pediatrician (whom we never see, as I only take them when they're sick and they're really healthy kids). He was a real jerk when we didn't vaccinate and I've heard tales of his calling CPS on homebirthers for jacked-up reasons. Who needs that?

Anthony called Dr. F's office yesterday to try to schedule a newborn screening. The receptionist told him that she isn't taking new patients right now but Dr. M is. Anthony said no, our midwife really recommended Dr. F. When the receptionist heard the word 'midwife' she asked if we'd had a homebirth. Anthony said that we had so she told him that we could do the newborn screening at 1 o'clock today.

Awesome.

We met with friends for lunch nearby and then I took Sergei across the street to the ped's office. They had me sit in a separate waiting room since he's so young, which was cool. As I filled out the new patient form the lady said, "I'm not seeing that his chart was sent over from the hospital." I replied that he was born at home. I went to sit down and I heard one receptionist say to the next, "Now how do you suppose I say this one? Surjay?"

"Sehr-guy? Serjee? These new names," the other one snarked.

Bitches. I CAN HEAR YOU. The waiting room and receptionists area are OPEN. Man, I was fuming. When she called him back (a halting "Serjee?" to which I replied, "Sergei. It's an old Russian name,") I was lamenting that I was there in the first place.

We go back to an examination room and she had me take his clothes off, weighed him, and whatnot. Then she mentioned that she wanted to check his bili levels since the whites of his eyes were yellowish. Now that she mentioned it, they were kind of yellow. She did the check while he nursed (he didn't like getting weighed) and then said, "Dr. M will be in here shortly. Well, I hope it's shortly. I haven't seen him in awhile. I think he went over to the hospital."

Um, okay. And...I'm here to see Dr. F.

"No, Dr. F isn't taking new patients so you'll be seeing Dr. M."

Lovely.

It wasn't long before he did come in. He said that Sergei's bili levels were elevated and he wanted me to bring him back to have them retaken in two days. I asked what his levels were and what normal levels were and he answered with how many hours old Sergei is. Now, I know they test levels based on age but I asked for the levels. I can figure out how old he is, thanks. Finally he tosses out, offhandly, the info that Sergei's levels were 13.3 (according to Dr. Sears any level below 20 need not be treated).

Then he asked who saw him at the hospital. I replied, again, that he was born at home (I must have said this a half dozen times while I was there. At least). He looked Sergei over and asked me if his eyes had always crossed. "I've only known him for four days," I told him, "But yes. It's getting better, though." It's been a few years since my last newborn but it seems like crossed-eyes were normal for the first few days. Granted, Sergei's seems more noticeable but he's also my only child who wasn't tortured with the stupid eyedrops so his eyes weren't so swollen that I couldn't hardly see into them the first day.

He turned out the light and shone the flashlight in Sergei's eyes. Then he wrote something on the chart. "Is everything okay with his eyes?" I asked. I'd worried, you know. That's what I do.

"Yeah," he said. "But I'm going to give you a referral to an eye doctor. His right eye looks a bit fixed." Which is really off, because, as I've said, I've noticed improvement throughout each day. And is it yes or no? Give me a straight answer, dillweed.

After he finally left the nurse came in to check his bili levels. When I told her that the other nurse had already checked his levels she argued with me until I told her what the numbers were. Then, lo and behold, she found this number written in his chart. She asked if he'd had the PKU at the hospital.

Why bother, you know? I explain--again--that he was born at home and I was HERE to get the PKU done. I didn't drag my hairy-armpitted, patchouli-smelling self to the pediatrician's office for the fun of it.

So she gets ready to do the heel-stick. Should I nurse him while she does it? I asked. It wouldn't be necessary, she said. It's my bad that I didn't insist, because the test upset him so much. Plus they take FIVE circles of blood now. Five. It seems like it was less with the other kids (and it likely was. Ironic that we have so many more new tests/screens/drugs and people seem to be sicker rather than healthier). He was upset, I was upset, it just sucked all the way around.

On my way out they handed me an information sheet. One of those "Your Newborn" developmental papers that they type up and give to parents. I glanced at it...and stopped

They recommend CIO with a newborn.

I read the passage again. It talked about newborns developing a cranky period in the dinnertime hours and it wouldn't hurt them to lay and cry in their crib if they weren't hungry and had a dry diaper.

Now, I think that CIO is just about barbaric. I don't respect it as a parenting practice and I wouldn't spend time with someone who would use it as a technique. I'm 29 years old and if a loved one left me weeping and inconsolable I wouldn't have anything to do with them. Mind, I'm not talking about in-arms crying (sometimes babies cry. But they DESERVE to be held even when they can't be comforted). I'm not talking about walking away and taking a break when your needy infant has you about ready to have a breakdown. I'm talking about making the conscious philosophical choice to put a crying newborn into a crib and walking away and a huge pediatric practice encouraging it. So many people take what doctors--especially peds--say as the gospel truth.

That just leaves a taste in my mouth, thinking about it.

So I'm doctor-less. At dinner (my aunt's birthday was earlier this week so we went out to dinner with some family) everyone agreed with me about his eyes. They're pretty mainstream and even they thought that Dr. M was being nitpicky because of the homebirth. They thought it was unethical because a new mother is just so vulnerable and emotionally fragile, especially about her baby.

I hate that doctor's office. Hate.

chinapiggy
08-22-2008, 11:40 PM
I think they should not be alllowed to hand out advice to let baby CIO! That is crazy. Peds need to rethink things and the AAP needs to send out new standards about it. I am sick of hearing it.

I am sorry it was so horrid. Why do you have to get the PKU? I guess I just have no clue what it is.

Bellaelle
08-22-2008, 11:42 PM
I would have his checked just to be on the safe side. More than likely it is nothing, but it is best to err on the side of caution.

As for the ladies up front, they were being nasty bitches.

Bellaelle
08-22-2008, 11:43 PM
Oh, and the CIO advice for a newborn is crazy. Maybe you can say something about it.
They might not realize what stupid advice it is.

FrznPolarAngel
08-22-2008, 11:45 PM
Sorry the visit didn't go so well. :(

Darcy_
08-23-2008, 12:49 AM
You know the sad thing is a new young mother is going to get that same handout, know in her guts its not the right thing to do, but does it anyways because its what the dr said and you know they must be right they wouldnt lead you down a wrong path for your child......

Sorry it pisses me off....

Sorry to hear of your crummy day :(

Tweet
08-23-2008, 12:50 AM
Yuck.

Personally, I'd maybe wait just a bit before going to they eye doc and mind you i have a son that had severe Strabismus. But, it just seems more likely that it's fine since you've noticed improvement everyday. All of my kids did have crossed eyes for a few days. And even DS's were just watched for a couple of months by his eye doc to see if they would go back to normal.

That CIO advice is shit sucking. I can see the pamphlet saying that if you have an absolutely inconsolable baby and you feel near the breaking point, absolutely take a breather as long as baby's needs have met first.(diaper, feeding, too hot/too cold) . Fussy baby at dinner time? That seems very wrong to me to just leave a screaming newborn just because it's a short fussy time during a certain hour. Shit, just bump dinner up or even eat later..or do what I did and eat with the kid on my lap or in the sling.Fuckwads.

nicurn
08-23-2008, 01:01 AM
Peds need to rethink things and the AAP needs to send out new standards about it. I am sick of hearing it.



The AAP has sent out guidelines: AAP Guidelines for crying babies (http://www.aap.org/sections/scan/practicingsafety/Modules/Crying/copingwithcrying.pdf)

Exerpt:

What to do when a baby cries:
��Try to establish a regular routine
��See if you can recognize a hungry cry from other cries
��Swaddle the baby in a blanket
��Gently rock the infant
��Hold the infant calmly and without tightness and quick changes
��Get help if you are feeling overwhelmed or exhausted
��If alone, place the infant in the crib for five or ten minutes and then try again


Notice that leaving a crying child alone is only recommended if the parent is about to explode. The problem is with Peds who don't bother to follow the guidelines of their professional organization...a common one here.

Sasha, I'm sorry your visit to the Ped sucked so bad. Can you at least get on Dr. F's waiting list?

BTW, how do you pronounce Sergei? I would have mangled it just as badly, but only to your face as I asked how to pronounce it.

Crabbie
08-23-2008, 01:41 AM
What a sucky visit. :hug:

BeanBabies
08-23-2008, 08:12 AM
I'm sorry the visit was so terrible. :(

xobehs
08-23-2008, 08:19 AM
ugh. I laughed about the part where the receptionist said, "new names" THAT is just plain old funny.

Sorry for the stressful visit. It surely didn't give you an reassurance.
Reminded me of this-
The hospital where we had DS and the ped's office are plastered with DO NOT COSLEEP posters. they are pictures drawn by children pleading their parents to leave them in their own beds where they are safe. gives me the willies.

Sashahomeschoolmama
08-23-2008, 08:21 AM
That CIO advice is shit sucking. I can see the pamphlet saying that if you have an absolutely inconsolable baby and you feel near the breaking point, absolutely take a breather as long as baby's needs have met first.(diaper, feeding, too hot/too cold) . Fussy baby at dinner time? That seems very wrong to me to just leave a screaming newborn just because it's a short fussy time during a certain hour. Shit, just bump dinner up or even eat later..or do what I did and eat with the kid on my lap or in the sling.Fuckwads.

That's what bothered me about it. I really hate the idea that we bring children into the world so that we can fit them into our way of doing things. After all, why should we trouble ourselves or be inconvenienced?

Ugh.

Nircurn, his name is pronounced Ser-GAY. I don't mind that they couldn't pronounce it--we're not in Russia--but it annoyed me that they were making fun of it. DH said that, even with the time he's spent in Europe while in the military, he wouldn't have known how to say it if we hadn't met.

Ilovemonkeys
08-23-2008, 09:32 AM
btdt and it really sucks. I've had better luck with GPs being more fmaily friendly, HB and non-vaxx friendly than peds.
We've only ever met one ped that way to go'd me for not vaxxing my then 1 yo and bfing her.

And my babies would cross and uncross their eyes for the first 8 weeks or so.
I know I have pics of dd at 5 weeks and her eyes are all over the place.

She has no eye issues now, i'm not a dr but I would be hesitant to take a newborn in for eye crossing. I'd wait another month or 2 or 4.

Camille
08-23-2008, 09:55 AM
:hug: I'm sorry, Sasha.


My peds clinic sucks, too. All we do is bf, co-sleep, refuse supplements and AP, and they make me feel like a freak. They made me feel like my breast milk was inadequate on several occasions. The first time was at her 3 day check, when she hadn't gained any weight and they made me drag her back for a weight check every couple days (they didn't take into consideration that we had been induced). Then they insisted that she needs a vitamin supplement.


I'm right there with ya on hating the ped's office. I'm ISO a new ped.

Camille
08-23-2008, 09:56 AM
Reminded me of this-
The hospital where we had DS and the ped's office are plastered with DO NOT COSLEEP posters. they are pictures drawn by children pleading their parents to leave them in their own beds where they are safe. gives me the willies.

THAT is beyond fucked up. I don't know how many times I've told my ped to fuck off about our sleeping arrangement. Last time, dh did it for me. "lol9"

mommyof2sons
08-23-2008, 10:07 AM
Sorry that the appt didn't go well. That is SO rude that the ladies at the front desk were acting that way!

pumpkinhead7
08-23-2008, 10:15 AM
Assholes.

Sputterduck
08-23-2008, 10:25 AM
Ugh. I feel your pain.

AlrightyRoo
08-23-2008, 11:02 AM
Assholes.


Yes.

Sorry you had to go through that. That is why we don't go to the doc very often. Unless the kids are sick, which is extremely rare.

RaisingThemLeft
08-23-2008, 11:24 AM
Sorry Sasha, I hope you can find a Dr. you like. I sometimes forget how fortunate we are here to have a large variety of choices since it's a bigger city.

Earthmama
08-23-2008, 11:53 AM
Ugh, I'm sorry it was so terrible.

Teresa64
08-23-2008, 12:12 PM
Wow I am really sorry about your experience. I had to deal with stuped people at our local wic office but luckly for us our pedi is wonderful. He is 100% for bf and has never complained about DS's weight or height. He is in the 10% for weight and 3% for height. Plus he told me NOT to give my son vitamins after the wic office told me I had to. Hopefully you can get in with the other dr next time. Good luck.

Amy_G_
08-23-2008, 01:00 PM
I'm not seeing this as such an absolutely horrible thing.

They told you that the dr you wanted wasn't taking new patients.
just because you assumed you would see him just because your babe needed the PKU test done, doesn't mean that was true.
If he's not accepting new patients, he's not accepting new patients.

The PKU test was 5 circles with both of my boys and they are 8 and 12 years old. different states do different #'s of newborn screenings, and that is why there may be variation in how much blood is taken. yes, you should have breastfed him during it if at all possible.

The dr may have seen something looking at his eyes in the dark that made him question the crossed eyes. or not. It's up to you to decide to take him to the eye dr now or wait a while. I'd give it a couple days/week and call for an appt. I don't see that as a dr against homebirthing at all.

while it may not have sounded so nice to be saying "those new names" I don't believe they had any evil intent, nor any bitchiness intended. they probably are frustrated because every baby that comes in nowadays has a different name that they don't know how to pronounce. there aren't many Mary and William's anymore.

You have a very negative opinion of institutionalized medicine.

xobehs
08-23-2008, 01:17 PM
Amy_G, that was kind of a crappy little ending to toss in there.

How can you downplay someone being snarky about a child's name within earshot of the NEW parent? That's ridiculous. There are a lot of Mary's and Williams around, I ahve one of each in my house.

Lighten up.

RaisingThemLeft
08-23-2008, 01:45 PM
Amy G, maybe she just didn't have a great experience at the Dr.'s office and was looking for some commisseration. She didn't call the Dr. names or anything. What is your problem? There is no excuse for them to be bitching about any child's name in front of the new mother. That is rude any way you cut it. I have a hard time believing they had no ill intent. And there are plenty of Williams around. My son is one of them.

MiMi_of_4
08-23-2008, 01:59 PM
(((((Sasha)))))

SingingMom
08-23-2008, 03:06 PM
Rudeness is UNACCEPTABLE in office staff.

End of story.

Sergei is a fabulous old name. I wish you could see our doctor. I wish you could see a doc who keeps up with current info. The whole bili level thing is so lame...

VegasLactivist
08-23-2008, 03:09 PM
{{{{{{{{{{{Sahsa}}}}}}}}}}}

EvilAmy
08-23-2008, 10:52 PM
I'm sorry Sasha I just got to the five circles of blood thing. THat is pure BS, they only need three. It's been that way with all 5 of my kids (first one being 15 years ago and in three different places of testing). When I took Zoey in I had a newbie and she actually asked the receptionist, they said go ahead and fill all five, at first I though that maybe they changed protocol. When I saw her bring out a diabetic finger stick to poke her heel I pulled Zoey back and asked if she had done this before. She said no, I said get some one experiienced in here please, you're using a too small of lancet.

Zoey's little eyes were crossed for the first two weeks. And my CNM just told me that after having that many kids she trusted me to take Zoey in if she got too yellow since her bili-levels were about the same. I just nursed her outside without clothes at least once a day.

EvilAmy
08-23-2008, 10:58 PM
Oh and you would appreciate my CNM. Below the poster in her office that has a baby nursing with the caption "Every child deserves a well rounded meal" is a sign that says "Screw cookies and milk, give me titties and beer" (She often reccomends having a beer when having supply trouble before resorting to more drastic measures)

nicurn
08-24-2008, 12:08 AM
I'm sorry Sasha I just got to the five circles of blood thing.


In California and North Carolina (places where I've done PKUs), 5 circles must be completely filled in. I do think it's interesting how different states choose to test for different diseases.

Our new test in CA actually tests for cystic fibrosis. I thought that was awesome.

xobehs
08-24-2008, 08:36 AM
Oh and you would appreciate my CNM. Below the poster in her office that has a baby nursing with the caption "Every child deserves a well rounded meal" is a sign that says "Screw cookies and milk, give me titties and beer" (She often reccomends having a beer when having supply trouble before resorting to more drastic measures)
LOL~ Love it~

Joyto5
08-24-2008, 09:11 AM
(Not read anything but the OP)
I'm sorry hun! I'm also sorry to say, Being a mother of 4 almost 5 home birth children, it's all par for the course! PKU is one of those tests I let my midwife take and send in. They aren't introducing anything into my babies system so it's one test I do allow. I do love my Ped but to the point where he listens to me and doesn't give me guff about being a home birth mom and Extended nurser. He dose have some silly opinions i had to set him straight about. Then again.. I've not confronted him about my decision to delay Vax our next and last baby.

I hope in time you can find a Ped your comfortable with that won't make you feel like your some loon! Here is a HUGE hug from one home birthing Mama to another! Hang in there hun!

JenniferH
08-24-2008, 03:11 PM
I guess we can see why Dr. F's practice is full and Dr. M has room for new patients! I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.

We've always had five circles here... even when California hardly tested for anything.

I didn't do a lot of newborn stuff, but just in my circle of friends I know three people whose kids had metabolic issues that were identified on the screening and all would have meant bigger problems if not caught early so I think the test is important.

Becca75
08-24-2008, 07:11 PM
In California and North Carolina (places where I've done PKUs), 5 circles must be completely filled in. I do think it's interesting how different states choose to test for different diseases.

Our new test in CA actually tests for cystic fibrosis. I thought that was awesome.

Even when my 14 year old was born we had to have five circles filled in here in WI. We've also been doing CF for quite awhile now as well. That's how we found out that dd is a carrier. Since we had no idea that anyone in our family carried it, I'm glad we found out. It seemed weird to worry about her having children when she was only a couple of weeks old, but now she has some knowledge that she can keep with her to help her make decisions when the time comes.

bebeisa
08-24-2008, 09:06 PM
Sorry for the experience you had at the doctor's office. That CIO handout is totally uncalled for. I guess my peds are not that bad! I once complained to my male ped about my DD2 crying at night many times and how exhausted I was! His comment was that it was not my DD's fault that she liked me so much and missed me at night! It made me laugh and feel good about following my instinct to not let her CIO like some people suggested!

My female ped just became a mom a few months back and she is amazed at how many people had told her she will spoil her baby by picking him up constantly. She tells them to backoff, it is her baby and she will spoil him if he needs to because he needs his mommy AND she has never seen a baby being spoiled by having a mom that picks them up when they cry! She is also pumping bmilk to give to the baby and was always giving me kudos for nursing my DD! She never once offered me formula even when DD2's bili levels were pretty high and we were doing daily check on it! They do advice on supplementing if it needs to be done but have a LC on duty for those cases to minimize the effects it can have on the bfing relationship and keep it going.

I do agree that PKU is important as things can be detected and worked early on if it needs to. About the eyes, I thought most babies had cross eyes! I would wait and see. I think that your mommy instinct will guide you and he still young. About the name, I would've asked you. I worked at SSA and everytime a name came that I was not sure how to pronnounce it I would ask. Parents were very glad I did and would happily tell me how to say it and the story behind the names!

1cheshirecat
08-26-2008, 11:59 AM
I used to hate taking DS for check ups because if you do any thing slightly off their "normal" radar they are completely lost. When I used to tell them that he was bf they used to look at me as if I had 2 heads! That is obviously what happened to the OP with regard to the homebirth they just didn't "get it"

BeachMama
08-27-2008, 01:10 AM
What a shitty visit, but this did make me laugh.

I didn't drag my hairy-armpitted, patchouli-smelling self to the pediatrician's office for the fun of it.