Not permitted to nurse at Target store

[Judy10]

I used to love shopping at Target because whenever my children would try on clothes in the fitting room I'd always take that opportunity to nurse my baby.

Today, my 19 yod and 17 yod took my 11 yod to the fitting room to try on clothes. I came shortly after them with my baby in the cart (his carseat was in it). I was going to the family dressing room because it is the largest one and easy to bring the cart in.

Here's what happened at the fitting rooms:

Target employee(older lady): How many items do you have?
Me: Oh I just need to feed my baby, but I do have two pairs of shoes in the cart.
Target employee: You can't do that.
Me: excuse me?
Target employee:There's a family restroom at the front of the store for that.
Me: I am not going to feed my baby in a dirty restroom. I refrained from asking her if she'd like to eat her dinner there.

The employee made no response and I decided to just wait and feed the baby when we got to Kohls. I was livid, but I waited for my daughter quietly. The employee finally said in a not so nice tone "Oh well I guess you can". I told her "no thanks" because it wasn't her pace to tell me I couldn't feed my child and I began talking to my teenagers about the rest of our shopping plans.

On the way out of the store I decided to peek in at the family restroom to see what it looked like. Dirty floor and certainly not a clean place to feed a baby in.

The only customers trying on clothes were my 11 yo and one other woman, so it's not like I would have inconvenienced a line of customers waiting to try on clothes. There was plenty of empty fitting rooms.

In the past, I have taken in clothes to try on and off handedly said I needed to feed the baby also and the female employee said "Oh take your time dear". I've never had a problem before.

I'd like to contact a Target corporate office so they can make sure all their employees know they shouldn't be telling customers they can't feed their babies in the store. I know there is a regular customer service email address at the Target website, but I'd rather try contacting someone higher up who can actually do something. Anyone know how I can get a corporate email address? Also, if you would take the time to let Target know you don't appreciate nursing mom being told to go feed their babies on the floor in the restroom I'd be grateful.

[Sunnie]

I nurse in the snackbar. Then I can have a drink while I nurse.

[chickabiddy]

You were not "not permitted" to nurse in the store. You were denied use of the largest fitting room (and then offered its use). This is poor customer service, but your rights were not compromised.

[babymakes4]

You were not "not permitted" to nurse in the store. You were denied use of the largest fitting room (and then offered its use). This is poor customer service, but your rights were not compromised.


I agree with this. And what a strange first post on the debate board.

[Teresa64]

If I was you when she denied u privacy of the dressing room I would have said "Ok then. I'll just nurse her right here."
But I agree with Sunny. I usually just nurse in the snack bar so I can relax and enjoy a drink.

[SingingMom]

I suggest you ask for the manager at that particular store. The manager can and should make sure that any issues with customer service are dealt with.

I've nursed in the family dressing rooms at several Target stores and been treated well by employees. I have sometimes chosen to nurse in a dressing room when dealing with a very distractable baby.

[Marysmom]

Next time, take in three pairs of jeans with you.

[HammBugga]

I would have just flopped out my boob right there and nursed away.

[Judy10]

You were not "not permitted" to nurse in the store. You were denied use of the largest fitting room (and then offered its use). This is poor customer service, but your rights were not compromised.

I was told I couldn't use the fitting rooms, she didn't suggest that I use a smaller one. Then while I waited for my child she rudely told me that she guessed I could use the fitting room. If I hadn't been waiting she would not have had the opportunity to rudely ammend her statement. It was very poor customer service.

[Judy10]

I agree with this. And what a strange first post on the debate board.

I used to visit this board many many years ago. I wasn't sure which forum would be the best one to post my question on, but remembered this particular one as being pretty busy. Sorry you found my post "strange". I've never ever been told to go nurse my child in a dirty restroom and though people here would agree.

In the past, a mother was told she couldn't nurse her child in a fitting room at a Motherhood maternity store. That has changed and there are stickers on the mirrors stating that nursing mothers are welcome.

[NickNAK]

I would have brought it to the managers attention that way he/she could address it at the next staff meeting.

[maksmom]

I'm sorry for your experience. You had an encounter with a jerky teenager, not an anti-breastfeeding corperation. I would contact the manager of the store first. I have been offered and used dressing rooms in many stores, including Target and Motherhood. Both of my nursers were very distracted nursers when they were older babies.

[Judy10]

Thanks maksmom. She was actually an older woman, looked to be in her late fifties. Thanks for reminding me that Target is not anti-breastfeeding. The other employees have always been nice, but this one was an exception. I don't think stores are in anyway obligated to provide a place for nursing mothers, but telling someone they can't use a fitting room doesn't seem right. Had it been really busy and people were waiting in a line to use the fitting rooms I would not have planned on feeding my baby just then. The rooms were all empty and I had to wait for my child so I figured I'd feed my baby before he got fussy.

[xobehs]

When I had DD we lived 2 hours from a mall. When she was a newbie and I was just getting the hang of nursing I preferred to be alone so I could relax. Old Navy, The Gap and Motherhood were always openly welcoming of us going in just to BF. Every other store I had to "pretend" I was trying something on, Target included.

[Tiffers]

I have nursed while walking through our local Target store without any problems. I think that it's probably not a Target thing, just a grumpy dressing room lady thing.

[dewoman81]

I agree with some of the posts, but I have learned Target has very poor customer service. If they werent cheaper than Walmart for diapers, I would never go there. I complained up the ladder about an experience there and I got some misspelled email that reexplained the procedures and never an apology.

[Nipple_nectar]

I nurse in the snackbar. Then I can have a drink while I nurse.

I know right! Me too:)


I suggest you ask for the manager at that particular store. The manager can and should make sure that any issues with customer service are dealt with.

I've nursed in the family dressing rooms at several Target stores and been treated well by employees. I have sometimes chosen to nurse in a dressing room when dealing with a very distractable baby.

It's not too late to rectify the situation. I would call that store and ask to speak to the manager on duty. I would then explain that it is well within your right to nurse wherever you want.

Although, I agree with Chicka, if she is the fitting room lady, it is her job to redirect you to a more fitting location. Hey I made a funny! Get it? More fitting?

[hotlama]

Next time go into the garden center. They have really comfy chairs.

[chickabiddy]

It's not too late to rectify the situation. I would call that store and ask to speak to the manager on duty. I would then explain that it is well within your right to nurse wherever you want.

Although, I agree with Chicka, if she is the fitting room lady, it is her job to redirect you to a more fitting location. Hey I made a funny! Get it? More fitting?

Actually, in most states, it is her legal right for her to nurse her baby anywhere she and the baby are otherwise authorized to be. If the fitting room attendant has the right to refuse to allow someone who isn't trying on clothes to use in the largest fitting room, then the OP's rights were not compromised.

Again, I agree that it seemed to be poor service. I just don't think it's a lactivism issue.

[Shaunsmom]

Chickabiddy- I agree with your posts so far! I don't think this is a lactivism issue either.

OP- This isn't that you weren't permitted to nurse at a Target store. I'm sorry that you encountered poor customer service.

Next time, bring a couple of things to try on if you are at Target and are wanting to nurse in the fitting rooms. I too have used the Target fitting rooms to nurse but have also needed to try a couple of things on at the same time. (The staff was more than understanding of what I needed to do:))

[kohlby]

I also read it as the employee not wanting you to take up a dressing room when you weren't trying on clothes. I agree that I'd just sit down somewhere and nurse. I've found shoe departments are usually a great place to nurse because there's always somewhere to sit.

[Camille]

In the past, a mother was told she couldn't nurse her child in a fitting room at a Motherhood maternity store. That has changed and there are stickers on the mirrors stating that nursing mothers are welcome.

How odd considering that they have a line of clothing called Motherhood Nursing. :nono:

[_Viva_]

I agree with Chicka. And Sunnie.

I usually just went to the Home & Garden section and plopped myself down on one of the swings or lawn chairs.

[MrsKitty]

You had an encounter with a jerky teenager, not an anti-breastfeeding corperation.

Why assume that someone who is anti breastfeeding is a teenager?

[Babyhellfire]

Why assume that someone who is anti breastfeeding is a teenager?

I don't think she MEANT teenager=anti-breastfeeding...just that the employee she had a similar issue with WAS a teen,not an older woman.

[pawprint]

I'd call the manager too. Its at least crappy service and that seem to take that stuff seriously there.

FWIW I've nursed in the dressing room at Target a slew of times. (Easy to corral the older kiddo). I've also nursed in the snack bar as well. No one ever said anything to me, but I've always maintained that people never say anything negative to me because they can smell the crazy on me. ;)

[maksmom]

Why assume that someone who is anti breastfeeding is a teenager?


I misread the orig post, missed the older lady part, and somehow replaced it with teenager. I have found people in all age ranges that were anti-breastfeeding (and pro-breastfeeding for that matter).

[maksmom]

In fact, my oldest DD, who is 17, made a snotty comment about her step-mom not breastfeeding. It shouldn't have but it kind of made me giggle. :D

[mommyof2sons]

I would probably just call the manager and tell them how you were treated.

I do have to say a wonderful thing about toys R us. We were at one about an hour and a half from our house. The baby was only a few months old and was really hungry. I asked the lady if they had a place that I could nurse. She said no, but let me as my manager. She called him over her radio and asked where I could nurse him. He told her to take me into the staff room. She took me in there, gave me a chair off in the corner and we nursed away. :)

[_Viva_]

I've come back to this thread a few times, and it's really that I'm sad that we feel like we have to *find a place* to nurse. I wish that wasn't the case. I long for the day when we can just sit anywhere we like and not have an issue. (I know, that LEGALLY, a lot of places have this, but it seems like emotionally, a lot of people are not there, both mothers not comfortable with it and people not comfortable with seeing it.) And that makes me sad.

[frannie]

My husband freaks when i nurse in the living room and the blinds are cracked alittle.
Today he told me (jokingly) "Im just going to stand here with my **** hanging out the window"
He would never go for me BF at the snack bar

[_Viva_]

My husband freaks when i nurse in the living room and the blinds are cracked alittle.
Today he told me (jokingly) "Im just going to stand here with my **** hanging out the window"
He would never go for me BF at the snack bar


:( This is the type of thing that makes me sad. Bfing rates will never improve until people see it for what it is: NORMAL.

[pawprint]

We're missing a ton of posts here! WTH happened?

[Indigo]

I was told I couldn't use the fitting rooms, she didn't suggest that I use a smaller one. Then while I waited for my child she rudely told me that she guessed I could use the fitting room. If I hadn't been waiting she would not have had the opportunity to rudely ammend her statement. It was very poor customer service.

She was wrong, but she didn't say you can't nurse in Target. Talk to her manager. Don't feel you have to even nurse in a dressing room.

[Indigo]

BTW the lawn furniture dept is much comfier than the dressing rooms.

[Indigo]

My husband freaks when i nurse in the living room and the blinds are cracked alittle.
Today he told me (jokingly) "Im just going to stand here with my **** hanging out the window"
He would never go for me BF at the snack bar


That's awful! If daddy isn't supportive of feeding baby how do you expect the general public to be? Wow. I would not be able to raise kids with someone who made such obnoxious jokes about me FEEDING my child or was not comfortable with my FEEDING my child in my own living room. Yikes, I am floored.

[Camille]

My husband freaks when i nurse in the living room and the blinds are cracked alittle.
Today he told me (jokingly) "Im just going to stand here with my **** hanging out the window"
He would never go for me BF at the snack bar


WTF? He seriously thinks breasts are a sex organ?



Some silly girl at the supermarket the other day told me that most people think bf is gross, like tits aren't for kids. I told her that they DO make milk and if they hadn't been intended to feed babies, they would make chocolate instead. I stopped myself before I told her that cow milk comes from cow BOOBS! "lol9"

And chicken eggs; we all know where those come from. :nono:

[frannie]

That's awful! If daddy isn't supportive of feeding baby how do you expect the general public to be? Wow. I would not be able to raise kids with someone who made such obnoxious jokes about me FEEDING my child or was not comfortable with my FEEDING my child in my own living room. Yikes, I am floored.


He was joking. Im thankful we have the kind of relationship where we can kid around like that and not get all bent out of shape. He supports me BF our child for as long as DS wants it, he understands the benefit's, and is thankful that I choose to BF DS. Even if the thought of some one seeing the goods does make him uncomftable
But dont most guys see breast as a sexuall body part?

[Michele]

I haven't read the entire thread, but I was told at a Target in Fresno that I could not nurse my baby in the store. I was sitting in the garden furniture area behind some netting with my back to the general public. I told the employee that indeed I could and continued to nurse. She must have told her manager what I said because a few minutes later along came the manager who peered down at my baby and commented how cute she was and told me to sit there as long as I needed. She even offered me a pillow. I don't think most employees really know what is and isn't okay IRT BF-ing.

[RaisingThemLeft]

He was joking. Im thankful we have the kind of relationship where we can kid around like that and not get all bent out of shape. He supports me BF our child for as long as DS wants it, he understands the benefit's, and is thankful that I choose to BF DS. Even if the thought of some one seeing the goods does make him uncomftable
But dont most guys see breast as a sexuall body part?

I think my dh probably sees breasts as both sexual and useful for feeding babies. He knows the primary function of them is for feeding. I wouldn't have appreciated the crass "dick out the window" analogy, personally, and it didn't seem like a very good natured "joke" coupled with the fact that he doesn't want you nursing in public. My dh never had a problem with me nursing our babies in public and will even speak up and defend breastfeeding moms if he hears someone making a negative comment about it. It sounds like maybe your dh is very young.

[frannie]

I think my dh probably sees breasts as both sexual and useful for feeding babies. He knows the primary function of them is for feeding. I wouldn't have appreciated the crass "dick out the window" analogy, personally, and it didn't seem like a very good natured "joke" coupled with the fact that he doesn't want you nursing in public. My dh never had a problem with me nursing our babies in public and will even speak up and defend breastfeeding moms if he hears someone making a negative comment about it. It sounds like maybe your dh is very young.


Well what do you concider young?
This is his first child, his mother didn't breast feed, neither did his sister. So this is the first time that he has been exposed to it.
Its not that he does'nt want me to nurse in public, he just doesnt want some guy looking at me and trying to see something. My ds is so active and refuses to have any thing covering him I doubt there would be any way i could do it with out somthing being exposed.

[AlrightyRoo]

He was joking. Im thankful we have the kind of relationship where we can kid around like that and not get all bent out of shape. He supports me BF our child for as long as DS wants it, he understands the benefit's, and is thankful that I choose to BF DS. Even if the thought of some one seeing the goods does make him uncomftable
But dont most guys see breast as a sexuall body part?

My husband sees breasts as both. Feeding a baby from your breast is so feminine and maternal. That makes them sexy to him. He totally understands that first and foremost, breasts were made for babies and babies were made for breasts.

He completely supports my right to nurse where ever I am otherwise authorized to be. He sees it as a human rights issue.

[maksmom]

Well what do you concider young?
This is his first child, his mother didn't breast feed, neither did his sister. So this is the first time that he has been exposed to it.
Its not that he does'nt want me to nurse in public, he just doesnt want some guy looking at me and trying to see something. My ds is so active and refuses to have any thing covering him I doubt there would be any way i could do it with out somthing being exposed.


Does your DH try to catch a "free shot" when he sees a woman NIP? I think most people, male or female, would actually try not to see a flash of boob. Granted there are some pervs out there, they are going to leer no matter what.

Regardless of how he feels about NIP, your own livingroom is not public even with the blinds open. I'd be truly upset if my DH told me to shut the blinds to nurse.

[Wolverine]

He was joking. Im thankful we have the kind of relationship where we can kid around like that and not get all bent out of shape. He supports me BF our child for as long as DS wants it, he understands the benefit's, and is thankful that I choose to BF DS. Even if the thought of some one seeing the goods does make him uncomftable
But dont most guys see breast as a sexuall body part?

DH sees them as both sexual and the place baby eats. But, when I am nursing (and I have been for the past three years straight) they are primarily a food source. If I am having issue with him touching them for whatever reason (usually touched out because baby it nursing a lot) he respectfully backs off. He's been to two nurse-ins with me so he's very pro feeding in public.

[frannie]

wow
I though "dressing room attendant" was the bad guy here.
Im feeling very judged here. Was I not clear that he does support me Bf our child. It does not make him an A-hole just becasue he wouldnt be comfortable with me nursing in public. He would not stop me from doing it, Im sure he would sit by and help me to keep covered, because as I said little DS is very active and does not like to be under a blanket or even have my top tuching his face, he pushes my shirt up.
And NO he doesnt try to CATCH A FREE SHOT.

[DiscoPanda]

I would have just flopped out my boob right there and nursed away.

This is exactly what I was going to say Hamm! You beat me to it!

[maksmom]

And NO he doesnt try to CATCH A FREE SHOT.


And that was my point. So why is he so sure that everyone else is? You stated that he doesn't even want you nursing with the blinds cracked at home.

[frannie]

Ok
I guess "freaks" was the word that cause some of the uproar.
what he does is, when im sitting there nursing and he comes into the room if he sees that the slits of the blinds are some what opend he will quickly adjust them all. I think its funny cause 1. i dont even notice they are like that and 2. I dont think anyone could really see in through the cracks unless they are standing on our patio. so i guess thats why I say he freaks out.

[Indigo]

Well what do you concider young?
This is his first child, his mother didn't breast feed, neither did his sister. So this is the first time that he has been exposed to it.
Its not that he does'nt want me to nurse in public, he just doesnt want some guy looking at me and trying to see something. My ds is so active and refuses to have any thing covering him I doubt there would be any way i could do it with out somthing being exposed.

If the father of the baby does not support your meeting that baby's needs by feeding them when and were they need it then I don't call that being truly supportive. Jokes aside if there is any truth to that jest then that's concerning. In a world where there is enough going against bf mothers it would be nice if fathers stood behind mothers in support instead of limiting their ability to care for their children. What if you are on a plane or some other place where you really can't go somewhere else? It is possible to nurse and not flash people and it's possible to see you as sexual and as a mother, I don't see the need for this to affect your feeding of your child.
Yes the the dressing room clerk was wrong, and you should follow up with the manager, but if your own dh harbors similar feelings then I think your main work needs to begin at home.

[KerryS]

You were not "not permitted" to nurse in the store. You were denied use of the largest fitting room (and then offered its use). This is poor customer service, but your rights were not compromised.

This. It may have had less to do with breastfeeding, and more to do with taking up possibly the only family dressing room they have for a purpose other than for what it was intended.

Whenever I breastfeed in Target, I go sit down on the lawn furniture.

[KerryS]

In the past, a mother was told she couldn't nurse her child in a fitting room at a Motherhood maternity store. That has changed and there are stickers on the mirrors stating that nursing mothers are welcome.


Once I was in a Motherhood Maternity store, sitting at a La Leche League table (they requested LLL be there to hand out information) and when my baby needed to nurse, she actually suggested I go into the dressing room.

[KerryS]

My husband freaks when i nurse in the living room and the blinds are cracked alittle.
Today he told me (jokingly) "Im just going to stand here with my **** hanging out the window"
He would never go for me BF at the snack bar

Your husband sounds like an adolescent dickhead.

[frannie]

thanks i'l let him know

[KerryS]

And NO he doesnt try to CATCH A FREE SHOT.

So why does he assume that other men are trying to do so?

[KerryS]

Ok
I guess "freaks" was the word that cause some of the uproar.
what he does is, when im sitting there nursing and he comes into the room if he sees that the slits of the blinds are some what opend he will quickly adjust them all. I think its funny cause 1. i dont even notice they are like that and 2. I dont think anyone could really see in through the cracks unless they are standing on our patio. so i guess thats why I say he freaks out.


And I still think that is very bizarre, immature behavior.

[frannie]

Once I was in a Motherhood Maternity store, sitting at a La Leche League table (they requested LLL be there to hand out information) and when my baby needed to nurse, she actually suggested I go into the dressing room.


why do you think LLL suggested you go into the dressing room

[frannie]

So why does he assume that other men are trying to do so?


with the way my son nurses a person wouldnt really have to try to catch a shot. DS pops on and off, looks around, pushes my shirt up, he even likes to stand sometimes.

[TuetonicWillow]

So why does he assume that other men are trying to do so?


Anais Nin said, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."

Case in point. And...ew!

[KerryS]

why do you think LLL suggested you go into the dressing room

LLL didn't suggest it, the Motherhood Maternity sales associate suggested it. I was with a LLL group that was there handing out information.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

My husband freaks when i nurse in the living room and the blinds are cracked alittle.
Today he told me (jokingly) "Im just going to stand here with my **** hanging out the window"
He would never go for me BF at the snack bar

nak

what a prince.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

But dont most guys see breast as a sexuall body part?

My dh doesn't claim to be like "most" guys but no, he doesn't see something that a child is attached to as a sexual object. It might be a sexual object under different circumstances, but I guess he's able to see things in degrees.

ETA: I also doubt he was turned on as he helped pull our son from my vagina last week.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

wow
It does not make him an A-hole just becasue he wouldnt be comfortable with me nursing in public.

Where does he want you to nurse at?

[frannie]

Im sure he wants me to nurse where ever i need to, but i always do what ever i WANT to do. But just to be sure it just asked him, he said:
"I want you to move this shelf out of the way, open the blinds all the way, open the window, sit on the sill, whip out your boob and let Ben go at it"

Yes he was JOKING, he knows how popular he is here right now

[DiscoPanda]

This. It may have had less to do with breastfeeding, and more to do with taking up possibly the only family dressing room they have for a purpose other than for what it was intended.


Quite possibly, this.

I know I always get pretty annoyed when I have to wait for the large fitting room, since it's always the only one that fits my double stroller, and then a single person comes out.

Couldn't you go in one of the dozen other empty fitting rooms, and leave the large one for people who really need it? GRRR.

[xobehs]

Whenever I breastfeed in Target, I go sit down on the lawn furniture.

I hope you remember to close the blinds.

[TuetonicWillow]

My husband sees breasts as sexual objects when they're not in the midst of functioning as a feeding device. Grown ups have this amazing ability to detect context. At least, most do.