My bro really pissed me off!

[3girls2luv]

He told my mom that my dd1 gets on his nerves and when he hears her giving me and DH attitude he said "I just want to slap her." I was not there when he said this but my mom came home very upset after spending the day at his house.

I asked her what brought this up and she said she was talking about her sweet 16 coming up and my bro just said that he thinks that we are wasting out time because "there is nothing sweet about that kid." I was like WTF!!!!! He is never loving towards her but I had no idea he felt like that about her.

I have tried to call him and he is not answering phone so I left him a message and my SIL called me and asked what happened and I told her what he said and she can't believe it either. He is out fishing but when he comes back I am going find out what his problem is. I have always treated his boys like my own and he knows I don't spank my kids and that has always pissed him off. He spanks his kids but I never say anything to him about how parents. I am pissed and hurt at the same time. I just needed to vent before I actually talk to him so I don't start crying on the phone.

[jessiehannan]

:hug:

[Mom2B]

Well? Update?

[Earthmama]

:eek2: I'm so sorry! :hug:

[3girls2luv]

Sorry I took so long to update I was out looking for houses yesterday. Anyway I finally talked to my bro and he said "You know I would never hit her" and I said "thats right so why would you say something like that? He said that if I would dicipline her better then she would not be so out of control. I was like WTF is it to you I never go to you with problems about my dds. He said that I should have spanked them when they were little so they would know who was boss. I told him just because his kids fear him does not make him a good father. He continued to tell me how I should not let my dd go to the mall, movies or hang out with her friends at such a young age, she's 14. I wanted so badly to tell him that since he does not let his 17yo see his gf that he has to go behind his back. I just did not want to make things worse. I did tell him that if he has any doubts or problems with my parenting that he should just take it up with DH. It was like baging my head against a brick wall at that point.

[Funmommy]

:hug:
Sorry you have to deal with that kind of attitude :(

[nikkifaith]

D

[TuetonicWillow]

I can't believe your mom relays such info back to you.

[TuetonicWillow]

I did tell him that if he has any doubts or problems with my parenting that he should just take it up with DH.

Why would you say this? Why encourage him to bitch about your parenting at all? It's not his business. Further, why pass him off to your husband instead of dealing with you directly?

[3girls2luv]

Why would you say this? Why encourage him to bitch about your parenting at all? It's not his business. Further, why pass him off to your husband instead of dealing with you directly?


I did deal with him but like I said it was like bagging my head against a brick wall. I get no where with him. FWIW he will not go to my DH. My dad always told my bro to let me raise my kids my way and since my dad never spanked me he agreed with me not spanking my dds. My mom however did spank us.

Anyway my mom told me this because she was upset and hurt that my bro would actually say he wanted to slap dd and she wanted me to know so that I would not let dd go over to his house alone.

[SueDid]

If you really think he'd slap your dd, of course you shouldn't let her go there. Sounds to me like he was blowing off steam. Your Mom really has no business telling you each what the other is saying, that can cause nothing but trouble.

You shouldn't have told your brother to talk to your dh, either. If I recall correctly, there have been issues before because your dd is your dh's stepdaughter and you've been advised repeatedly to be the one to primarily deal with things regarding her.

Frankly, from the way you post about your dd and the things she does/says, I can see why your brother would feel frustrated with you and for you. While I don't think it's right to say he'd like to smack her, I can understand why he thinks she needs a firmer approach than she's getting and might hyperolize rather than going into a long spiel about what he thinks should happen.

[3girls2luv]

I do deal with my dd's issues but I just did not want to continue to hear him tell me all the bad things about my dd. I know she is not perfect but for 14 she is pretty normal from what I have learned. I don't think anyone has the right to say what my bro said and I let him know how I felt about it.

He has always said mean things to her to her face and always tries to put her down but dd thinks he is joking so I don't say anything just to keep the peace. For example when she got her braces off she was really happy and she showed him her teeth and he said "now you have horse teeth." He also told her that she is a good swimmer because after all shit does not sink. I guess this time it was the straw that broke the camels back.

[Sputterduck]

For example when she got her braces off she was really happy and she showed him her teeth and he said "now you have horse teeth." He also told her that she is a good swimmer because after all shit does not sink. I guess this time it was the straw that broke the camels back.

If someone ever said anything like that to my son, we would never be seeing them again. How do you not say anything when someone is talking to your child like that?

[cc1003]

I can't believe your mom relays such info back to you.

I thought this as well.

[3girls2luv]

Its really tough to understand but my bro is just like that and everyone takes it like a joke and when my dad was alive he would say things to him in the same manner in my dd's defense so everyone would just laugh it off. When he said he wanted to slap her, it just made realize it was not funny anymore and my dad is not here to step in.

[3girls2luv]

I can't believe your mom relays such info back to you.


What was she supposed to do? She lives with me and we are really close so she tells me everything especially when something is upsetting her.

[Missymoo]

Its really tough to understand but my bro is just like that and everyone takes it like a joke and when my dad was alive he would say things to him in the same manner in my dd's defense so everyone would just laugh it off. When he said he wanted to slap her, it just made realize it was not funny anymore and my dad is not here to step in.

I wouldn't ever think someone telling my daughter that she was a floating piece of shit was funny. WTF? I don't care who blows it off, I would have been all up in his face about that!

[Sputterduck]

No child should have to deal with comments like that. It is Not funny.