How to help 3 year old with seperation anxiety?

[Tiffearni]

I just started back to school, and DS is having heartwrenching seperation anxiety. :( He's breaking my heart. He keeps telling me that he misses me sooooo much and he just wants to stay with me.


He used to stay with Mil while I went to school, and had some episodes with her also at times, but was ok for the most part. Besides, he was with Mil who we spent tons of time with, so it didn't bother me quite as much cause I knew he would be fine and she really cuddled him a lot and would even call me if he REALLY needed to talk to me, etc.

This semester he is staying with a family friend who runs a daycare out of her home so he can be with other kids his age. He has been with her before a couple of times, but DD was with him. He did fine at first and would be excited to go there, but now all the sudden he doesn't want to go. I know nothing happened there or anything and the other kids just adore him. He just keeps telling me that he doesn't want me to go to school and he wants me to stay home with him. I believe that's exactly whats going on.

I just keep trying to convince him to go, and even a little bribery, but nothing's working.

How do I help him?

[Sputterduck]

Can you send him back to Mil?

[Tiffearni]

Can you send him back to Mil?


I'd love to, but no I can't. She just started back to work. Otherwise he would still be going with her.

[Sputterduck]

How long are you at school? I've been thinking that when I have to take classes that aren't online (thank God for online classes) I'm going to hire a homeschool kid from my area to watch him on campus at first. Classes aren't that long. I spent a lot of time at a college when I was 11 and 12 and I think it was a great experience, so I'm kinda excited to spent time on one with my son. lol

[Tiffearni]

How long are you at school? I've been thinking that when I have to take classes that aren't online (thank God for online classes) I'm going to hire a homeschool kid from my area to watch him on campus at first. Classes aren't that long. I spent a lot of time at a college when I was 11 and 12 and I think it was a great experience, so I'm kinda excited to spent time on one with my son. lol


2 days I go 3 hours each, 1 day I go 2 hours, so 8 hours a wk.

It sucks. I would love to take online classes. My school offers them, but don't have the classes I need. I love spending time with my little man, so I'm trying to have the best of both worlds. I thought it would be good for him to go and play with other kids his age and begin prepping him for school, but this seperation anxiety just really breaks my heart.

[Sputterduck]

I have an idea! Most colleges have a day care center. Does yours have one? Then you could pop in between classes.

[Tiffearni]

I have an idea! Most colleges have a day care center. Does yours have one? Then you could pop in between classes.

I actually checked out the daycare, but I wasn't really impressed with it. Also, they discourage popping in between classes. They said we could look through the windows or whatever, but they want you to stay out of view of the children.

I thought that would've been great because he wouldn't be there as long either since right now he's at the sitter during drive time also. I wish that would've worked out better, but something just felt sort of weird. Also, DH didn't want him going there, he wasn't comfortable with the idea of him going there.

[Sputterduck]

I wouldn't like a daycare that didn't like people popping in when they wanted to. I trust people more when they don't mind someone coming in when not expected.

[Tiffearni]

I wouldn't like a daycare that didn't like people popping in when they wanted to. I trust people more when they don't mind someone coming in when not expected.

Yeah, that didn't sit well with me either. They were actually the only daycare that didn't allow it. I checked out several places, but then last minute I found out that our family friend could watch him which is on the same street as Mil's house. Also, he's been there before, and DD used to go there when she was his age. I never had a problem with her, but he's a different little guy from her. She adapts to new situations much easier than he does. He doesn't really deal well with new situations or change.


I can tell he's really not wanting to be away from me lately at all because even when we went to church on wednesday, he didn't want to go to class which is very odd for him because he loves to go to class usually.

I've been trying to hang out with him more and spend extra quality time with him.

I've noticed lately that he's been coming over and giving me extra hugs and he will come out of nowhere and just say, "mommy. i love you." :) So cute, but just makes his seperation anxiety even MORE heart-wrenching. I just feel terrible about the whole thing.

[Teresa64]

I wouldn't like a daycare that didn't like people popping in when they wanted to. I trust people more when they don't mind someone coming in when not expected.

Thats one rule that ALL daycares HAVE to follow here.
Parents are to have unlimited access to their children when in my care!
Thats crazy I dont' blame you for not taking him there.
In fact I could call your local social services and find out if that is even legal.