If we adopt . . .

[ingrams_mommy]

My husband and I have talked about possibly adopting a second child when our son is older. I am hesitant about the idea because it seems like it would be so different from having a child myself, and so much harder. Breastfeeding has been such an important part of my relationship with my son, and I'm worried about not being able to induce lactation if we adopt (since by that time my son will probably not be nursing anymore-- we plan to wait until he is at least 3 or 4.) I understand that there is nothing *wrong* with formula-feeding an adopted baby-- it's just that the idea of nurturing my baby with fake milk from a bottle or SNS seems to weird and alien to me. I wouldn't want to miss out on the bonding experience and feel like I could only give my second child second-best because he/she was adopted . . . kwim?

Does anyone know what chances I stand of being able to induce lactation enough to EBF? Are my chances affected at all by the fact that I have nursed a baby before, and have had excellent milk supply (oversupply in fact)?

[TigerMom]

Does anyone know what chances I stand of being able to induce lactation enough to EBF? Are my chances affected at all by the fact that I have nursed a baby before, and have had excellent milk supply (oversupply in fact)?

You didn't mention how long you've been nursing. That will undoubtedly play a role in it. But perhaps my experience with asking my midwife a similar question might give you some comfort or food for thought.

Last year, I asked my midwife about relactation. My partner & I had been active with an adoption agency and were waiting for a match. My DS (then nearly 3) was still nursing at bedtime and morning wake-up, but I didn't know how much longer that would interest him. I had stopped pumping at work, and knew that I might wind up losing my supply before another baby came into our family.

So I asked my midwife, "If DS weans, how hard would it be to relactate when we adopt a baby?" She replied that, given how long I'd nursed already, it shouldn't be too hard to get my supply back. It looks like I won't have to test that theory. DS is still nursing and we just matched up with a baby due around New Year's. (Yay!)

The question of expanding your family through adoption or more traditional pregnancy/birth is an important one. You and your husband will want to spend time with it. Adoption is a brave and scary process, and it can take a long time. I thought I was ready for the agony of waiting and the total powerlessness, and it was still very hard. We're deeply committed to it and I'm learning a lot of lessons through it. But it's hard work. Adoption agencies offer lots of workshops about what to expect -- explore them.

You're right -- there is nothing wrong with nursing an adopted baby with formula in a bottle, but don't rule out relactation. It's a huge gift. So is the unconditional love that you'll shower on your baby. Good luck!

[fr0ggygirl]

get the nursing mother's companion by kathleen huggins,r.n,m.s. i was given this at my baby shower and its the best go to book ive read on bf in chapter 3 it tells u exactally how to relactate or start if u never have... and as far as i understand since you have bf you should have no prob starting again... of course its all worth it....good luck and i hope this helped :)