Is this normal for a teacher?

[Tweet]

My oldest is only in 1st grade so I don't have huge experience when it comes to teachers..so I'm wondering if this situation is typical.


Last weekd dd1 came home and told me that her teacher had grounded her from using the bathroom at school. When I asked her why she said that she and another little girl made a mess while playing in the restroom and when the teacher questioned them about it, her friend lied and said they hadn't made a mess.

I told dd it's not acceptable to be messing around making messes in the bathroom and to not ever do that again..do your business and get to class. However, I told her she probably misunderstood Mrs T . She has to be able to pee ( and they can't not tell her not to pee all day, right?!?!)

I put a call in to Mrs T and left a message saying, "Hi Mrs T, this is Tweet junior's mom and I understand TJ made a mess in the restroom today. Her father and I have spoken with her and she understands not to do that again. I think she may be confused, though, because she is telling me she is grounded from going to the restroom at all during her time at school. Could you please give me a call at your convenience so that I can make sure she understands your rule? Thank you".

She never did call me or write a note. DD did say that she could go, just that she had to go with her teacher. So, it worked out, but I thought it was kind of rude that she never acknowledged my phone call. Is this normal? Her K teacher lovvvvved to call back, lol..a little too much sometimes! And her preschool teachers and DS's preschool teachers have never NOT called me back, for any reason.

[frannie]

It is a bit odd. When ever I have call, sent a note or even e mailed I always get a response. That day or the next. At my kids school the teachers have a sent time each day that they have just to talk to parents, like when the kids go to music or the library. She should have at least let you know she got your call. Can you email her.

[JudyJudyJudy]

No, it's not normal for a teacher not to return calls. What time did you call? In her defense, though, it is possible that she simply didn't have time to call you back today.

[Tweet]

Nope, she has never given out an email. She's a little...different. It took her a really long time to send out her 1st newsletter ( the teachers do that at the school) and right off the bat she was bitching in all caps about DON'T SEND UNHEALTHY SNACKS FOR THE AM SNACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, as in , that was her opening line..complete with exclamation points.

She also has a habit of putting smilie faces after anything she writes to the parents. It's really odd! But, she does seem pretty young. I do think it's a tad inappropriate to be communicating with smiley faces , but that's just me and really not a big deal. The no phone call back does bother me a little, tbh.

[Tweet]

No, it's not normal for a teacher not to return calls. What time did you call? In her defense, though, it is possible that she simply didn't have time to call you back today.


Oh, I know.. I assumed she'd gotten busy. However, I called last week! LOL

And now I'd feel silly calling again since the two of them have resolved everything. I just feel a little blown off. Oh, well. I'm going to assume she got busy and forgot.

[Tweet]

Judy, I called her around 3:30 pm and school gets out at 2:20pm. I figured it might even take a couple days or maybe she'd send a short note or something.

[frannie]

I would call her back. Mention that you hadnt heard from her and that you just wanted to know how long TJ would have to be monitored in the bathroom. Then say "I would appreciate a call back or if its easier a note". That way she gets that you expect a repsonse from her.

[JudyJudyJudy]

There's no excuse for her not to call within a week. Is there a way to get her email address off your school's website? Most have those available now.

The "all caps" sentence in the newsletter is ridiculous! As for the smiley faces, they wouldn't bother me. The joke when I was in college and when I was teaching was that elementary teachers dress and act like their students. ;)

[CatSoup]

My son's teachers never called me back or responded to my notes last year. In fact the teacher had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the year and left. No one even bothered to tell the parents that the teacher would be someone different. The sub never bothered to call me back either. On top of all that the 1st teacher decided to come back at the end of the year. I had to actually go in to the classroom after school to get to talk to either of them. When I would ask if they got my messages they would just say they hadn't gotten to them, even if it had been a week.

[frannie]

My son's teachers never called me back or responded to my notes last year. In fact the teacher had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the year and left. No one even bothered to tell the parents that the teacher would be someone different. The sub never bothered to call me back either. On top of all that the 1st teacher decided to come back at the end of the year. I had to actually go in to the classroom after school to get to talk to either of them. When I would ask if they got my messages they would just say they hadn't gotten to them, even if it had been a week.


That would annoy me

[Tweet]

roflmao! I can totally tell that it carries over from her communication with the kids. It's kind of funny. The snack thing was weird. Maybe she had tons of kids with ho hos or something?

I will check the website. I just looked through our "welcome packet" and don't see her email. I looked through the handbook again also, but it just lists their room numbers and phone extensions. I can't wait to get in there to volunteer, lol. I'm REALLY curious about what goes on in there!

[Tweet]

Wow, CatSoup! That would be REALLY irritating. Jeez, even DD's mean old bitty K teacher called me back. Well, I put her in full day Kinder after a few nasty run ins she had with dd, but she called me back prior to that.

[JudyJudyJudy]

My son's teachers never called me back or responded to my notes last year. In fact the teacher had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the year and left.
That's so awful, and, sadly, not surprising. :(


No one even bothered to tell the parents that the teacher would be someone different.
IMO, the administration should have sent letters home.


The sub never bothered to call me back either.
Before I was hired by the board last December to take over for a teacher, I substituted for seven days. I was told by the administration that I could not legally contact the parents as a sub--that I had to wait until I was officially the kids' teacher.


On top of all that the 1st teacher decided to come back at the end of the year.
I doubt she had a choice.


I had to actually go in to the classroom after school to get to talk to either of them. When I would ask if they got my messages they would just say they hadn't gotten to them, even if it had been a week.
With whom were you leaving the messages? It's possible that they really weren't getting the messages.

[JudyJudyJudy]

Tweet, if you can't find her email address, the next time I called I would leave both my phone number and my email address as ways to be contacted. Chances are that your phone messages are going to her email.

[CatSoup]

Wow, CatSoup! That would be REALLY irritating. Jeez, even DD's mean old bitty K teacher called me back. Well, I put her in full day Kinder after a few nasty run ins she had with dd, but she called me back prior to that.

That was part of the reason I wanted him to go to a different school this year.
I always found it rude that they would send 10 notes home with the kids about signing up on the parent volunteer sheets, yet couldn't write a note responding to one of mine. It took almost a month for his teacher to get back to me on whether or not Jonas was supposed to be bringing home his math book. (He said he couldn't but he tends to try and get out of homework)

[JudyJudyJudy]

CatSoup, I'm not saying that it was fair to you or your son, but when a person is about to have a nervous breakdown, I think it's pretty understandable that things don't go very smoothly in her life.

[CatSoup]

That's so awful, and, sadly, not surprising. :(



IMO, the administration should have sent letters home.



Before I was hired by the board last December to take over for a teacher, I substituted for seven days. I was told by the administration that I could not legally contact the parents as a sub--that I had to wait until I was officially the kids' teacher.



I doubt she had a choice.



With whom were you leaving the messages? It's possible that they really weren't getting the messages.

I wondered that too, but when I got sick of the nonsense and left a message for the principal, she called back the same day. Supposedly the sub was going to be the homeroom teacher for the rest of the school year.

[CatSoup]

CatSoup, I'm not saying that it was fair to you or your son, but when a person is about to have a nervous breakdown, I think it's pretty understandable that things don't go very smoothly in her life.


Being a teacher is probably not a good profession for someone who is unstable. You guys have it tough. I think I would end up having a nervous breakdown if you stuck me in a room with 20-30 9 yr olds!

[JudyJudyJudy]

I wondered that too, but when I got sick of the nonsense and left a message for the principal, she called back the same day. Supposedly the sub was going to be the homeroom teacher for the rest of the school year.
They probably thought the sub would be there the rest of the year, but if the laws there are like here, she couldn't contact you. As for the teacher coming back, teaching is like any other job: Teachers have to work, too, so she probably didn't have a choice but to go back to work when she did. She was probably no more thrilled about it than you were.

[JudyJudyJudy]

Being a teacher is probably not a good profession for someone who is unstable. You guys have it tough. I think I would end up having a nervous breakdown if you stuck me in a room with 20-30 9 yr olds!
No, it's not a good profession for someone who is unstable and sometimes not even for those who seem to be completely stable before going into the classroom. Unfortunately, however, many feel that they don't have much of a choice but to stay once they have their degrees in education. There isn't a whole lot else they can do in many areas.

At this point in my life, physically nor mentally is teaching good for me. However, I hesitate to say that I'll never do it again because I may not have a choice. Because of my physical health and the environment that I was working in last year, my mental health suffered as well. I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. It was awful. For financial reasons, I really need to be working right now, but there comes a point when one has to decide between health and money.

[Tweet]

I can't imagine . I'd bet that she just had too much going on and like Judy said, maybe the sub could not legally contact you.

Judy, I hadn't thought about the messages going straight to her email. I'd think email would be easier for teachers, although she's so caps drunk that a phone call would just make me feel like I wasn't misreading her. But, I know teachers these days have A LOT going on. I also don't want to be one of those pester pot parents that call for every little thing. I did want to make sure about the bathroom, though. My 5th grade teacher wouldn't let kids go potty all day. One kid was diabetic and actually turned green :(

[Tweet]

I think teaching might give ME a nervous breakdown. Seriously. I'm not that patient.

[JudyJudyJudy]

The ironic part is that a big part of the reason I went back to work last year was to get health insurance because I wasn't physically healthy. Dh is self-employed, and we can't even touch a private policy with my family's preexisting conditions.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I can't imagine . I'd bet that she just had too much going on and like Judy said, maybe the sub could not legally contact you.

Judy, I hadn't thought about the messages going straight to her email. I'd think email would be easier for teachers, although she's so caps drunk that a phone call would just make me feel like I wasn't misreading her. But, I know teachers these days have A LOT going on. I also don't want to be one of those pester pot parents that call for every little thing. I did want to make sure about the bathroom, though. My 5th grade teacher wouldn't let kids go potty all day. One kid was diabetic and actually turned green :(
I absolutely don't blame you for contacting her about the restroom issue. That's an area where I'd show my butt in a heartbeat. I walked out of a class in 8th grade because the teacher wouldn't let me go to the restroom.

That is absolutely terrible about your 5th grade teacher. That child would have more protections now.

eta: Oh, and I did prefer email as a teacher.

[jessiehannan]

I would say it isn't normal. I got pissed off when the sub called me back after she made DD retake a test, when I had told her I wanted to talk to her about the test before DD took the test. She never did respond and say "sorry, I messed up," when she returned DD's picture order form and screwed up the order.

[CatSoup]

No, it's not a good profession for someone who is unstable and sometimes not even for those who seem to be completely stable before going into the classroom. Unfortunately, however, many feel that they don't have much of a choice but to stay once they have their degrees in education. There isn't a whole lot else they can do in many areas.

At this point in my life, physically nor mentally is teaching good for me. However, I hesitate to say that I'll never do it again because I may not have a choice. Because of my physical health and the environment that I was working in last year, my mental health suffered as well. I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. It was awful. For financial reasons, I really need to be working right now, but there comes a point when one has to decide between health and money.

I'm sorry to hear that. :( I know I couldn't do it.

[The_Market]

It's happened with us, but there have been several things with this teacher that make me go, "huh?"

[Tweet]

Oh, dear..I'm afraid I actually don't care much for this teacher. What's odd is I can't quite put my finger on the "why" quite yet.

She sends home quite a bit of homework, which isn't really a big issue for me. But, her communication style seems so off putting. The way she talks to the parents strikes me as just a little ..condescending? Not sure of the right word. Her style is very curt and she says things like, "Make sure your child does their best, please" which almost makes me think, "As opposed to me usually making sure she does her shittiest?" It's weird. And on the reading assignments she underlined the word "daily" a bunch of times. I get that some parents might not be able to ( or want to ) do it every night, but *I* make sure it's done. I am starting to feel like she's trying to parent *me* lol

Also, it bothered me that she used the word "grounded" with dd. She's the teacher, not the parent. I'm being really nit picky, aren't I?