DCP has gone crazy--advice needed

[sweetkisses]

I'm at work so I apologize for not being able to really expand on my story.

Basically, last week my DCP got really upset with me for asking her a question about her menu. Anytime I have asked her a question about anything she takes it very personally. So, last week she blew up at me for asking her about the food menu and she told us we needed to find a new daycare. We were very shocked b/c we have, up until then, loved her and her daycare.

Fast forward to today, the new daycare we would like to go to called and said they have an opening and we can start when ever.

I called the current daycare and told her dd's last day will be this Friday and she said okay and asked where we were taking her. I told her.

I received a phone call from my new daycare that current DCP called her talking about us and telling her she can't take us!!!! I don't know what her problem is all of a sudden. The current daycare felt I had the right to know about her phone calls b/c they felt she is being very unprofessional.

My dh and I are very freaked out by her sudden behavior and have decided we will not be taking dd back at all this week. My main question is, because she has acted so inappropriately and crossed the line do I have the right to ask for a refund for the 3 days dd will not be attending this week or should I just let it go.

[jessiehannan]

Is it worth the hassle of dealing with the woman? Do you usually pay for missed days?

[MoonBound]

No harm in asking, but I wouldn't hold my breathe.

[sweetkisses]

Is it worth the hassle of dealing with the woman? Do you usually pay for missed days?


Missed days are paid for. Not sure it is worth the hassle except now I'm going to have to pay someone else to keep her the rest of the week and money is a little tight and this was very unexpected.

[jessiehannan]

Then I wouldn't expect the money back.

[3girls2luv]

Wow she sounds like a nut case. I am glad you are taking dd out of there.

If you told her your last day is Friday and you normally pay for missed days then I don't think you will be getting a refund.

[madelsmama]

Holy cow, Mel. I didn't think this story would get more interesting since last week...

I would be tempted to confront her about her phone call, at the very least.

[KatieLou]

Wow! I think you have a right to ask about the menu, or anything else you want for that matter. The woman sounds strange. Call it a blessing in disguise that your DD will not be there anymore.

I also think you have a right to have the $$ back.

[sweetkisses]

Wow she sounds like a nut case. I am glad you are taking dd out of there.

If you told her your last day is Friday and you normally pay for missed days then I don't think you will be getting a refund.

I doubt I will either.

The entire situations just sucks. My stomach has been in knots all afternoon. DH is on his way to pick up dd now. I'm going after work to pick up her stuff and let dcp know she will not be returning. Who knows how that will go.

[sweetkisses]

Holy cow, Mel. I didn't think this story would get more interesting since last week...

I would be tempted to confront her about her phone call, at the very least.


I'm going to. She needs to know how out of line she was.

[Teresa64]

There is defintely something wrong here. I would be pissed as hell if my dcp got mad because I asked what my child is doing/eating while tthey are in their care. You won't get your money back.

I would consider having cps do a check on the daycare. Or calling the food program she is associated with and having them do a check on here. Something isn't right.

[Drama]

Is your dd with her right now? Id leave work or send someone for her asap.

[sweetkisses]

Is your dd with her right now? Id leave work or send someone for her asap.

DH just picked her up.

[Drama]

good what did she say? I missed the 1st part of the story what a nut.

[vulturemom]

I would let it go. Is she an in home provider or does she work for a day care?

[sweetkisses]

she is a liscensed home daycare.

[sweetkisses]

good what did she say? I missed the 1st part of the story what a nut.

She wasn't there. One of her part time employees was there, which makes me wonder why she left all 12 toddlers with one person. It was during nap time.

Errrr.......everything happens for a reason. This has to be a blessing in disguise.

[Laurens_Mom]

Yikes!! Glad you were able to get her out of there and find a new care provider. :hug:

[Bellaelle]

Seems to me she should be reported. She seems loopy and perhaps should not be taking care of small children.

[vulturemom]

I think she should be reported too.

I can't remember what the rules were when I was doing at home day care but, in the center we have to agree to keeping all info on the children confidential. You can't just call up people and tell them that this kid and there parents are awful, You can't even tell others that they are great unless the parents ask you to in writing.

[3girls2luv]

I sent dd2 to a home care provider and she seemed a little odd when I stopped by unannounced but I did not pay too much attention to it. Then later that week I called and told her I would be picking up dd early and she told me "Oh I'm glad you called this time, I don't like unexpected guests."

So the very next day I stopped by unannounced and she opened the door and I saw her mother feeding the 1 & 2 year olds, they were sitting in a half circle being fed with one spoon out or a large bowel of egg and potatoes. I walked to the kitchen and the other toddlers were sitting at the table without shirts and there was only one glass in the middle of the table for all of them to drink out of. I stood there in shock. I told her I am taking dd and we will not be coming back.

I did report her but I am not sure what happened to her. She did not say anything to me I think that I caught her completely by suprise. DD later told me that this lady would hit them with a fly swatter. I since then learned to screen home care centers very well. She went to another home care center and it was a postitive experience.

How old is your dd? If she can talk you might to ask her if she liked staying there.

[sweetkisses]

I think she should be reported too.

I can't remember what the rules were when I was doing at home day care but, in the center we have to agree to keeping all info on the children confidential. You can't just call up people and tell them that this kid and there parents are awful, You can't even tell others that they are great unless the parents ask you to in writing.

I wondered if she was breaking some kind of confidentiality rule.

I'm a nurse so of course we have all the HIPA rules we have to follow. I wondered if daycares have to follow some kind of confidentiality guidelines.

[Sputterduck]

I sent dd2 to a home care provider and she seemed a little odd when I stopped by unannounced but I did not pay too much attention to it. Then later that week I called and told her I would be picking up dd early and she told me "Oh I'm glad you called this time, I don't like unexpected guests."

So the very next day I stopped by unannounced and she opened the door and I saw her mother feeding the 1 & 2 year olds, they were sitting in a half circle being fed with one spoon out or a large bowel of egg and potatoes. I walked to the kitchen and the other toddlers were sitting at the table without shirts and there was only one glass in the middle of the table for all of them to drink out of. I stood there in shock. I told her I am taking dd and we will not be coming back.

I did report her but I am not sure what happened to her. She did not say anything to me I think that I caught her completely by suprise. DD later told me that this lady would hit them with a fly swatter. I since then learned to screen home care centers very well. She went to another home care center and it was a postitive experience.

How old is your dd? If she can talk you might to ask her if she liked staying there.


:eek2:

[sweetkisses]

OMG, 3girls!!!!!

Up until last week everything has been wonderful. I have never had any complaints. This seems very out of character for her which really concerns me, especially for the other children.

DD is 2 1/2 and she really likes it there. Every morning she asks to go.

[Teresa64]

I do not think that she can legally leave 12 children alone with one employee. I would check into that defintely.

[3girls2luv]

DD2 only went there for 4 days. She is 11 and still remembers seeing a little boy get hit on the hand with the fly swatter for touching the TV. I still remember seeing that huge bowl of egg and potato and these babies being fed with the same spoon.

I really think you should report her. Have you ever walked in unannounced? You should do it at time other than meal time or nap time just to see how they handle the children. Maybe other mothers may not know how strange this lady is.

[sweetkisses]

I really think you should report her. Have you ever walked in unannounced? You should do it at time other than meal time or nap time just to see how they handle the children. Maybe other mothers may not know how strange this lady is.

I have walked in unannounced. She has never had an issue with that.

I definitely will consider reporting some things. I'm sure the other parents have no idea. Since she felt the need to call my new daycare, I wouldn't put it past her to speak to the other parents about me and spread lies.

[Justicedog]

There's a tort called interference with a contractual relationship. Also, libel and slander if she lied to the new dcp you'd found, those would be possible causes of action against her, which may prompt her to refund the money.

I think getting a refund would be highly unlikely and not worth the trouble pursuing it, other than a letter.

I'd be more concerned about her calling places and black listing you. What's up with this new dcp for saying you cannot go there b/c wacko said something?

[sweetkisses]

Okay.....I'm leaving work now to get dd's stuff and confront her. Wish me luck. I'll update later.

[FrznPolarAngel]

Wow. What a mess!

I doubt you will get your money back either but wouldn't hurt to 'ask'. I agree with the majority that this woman needs to be reported. She scares me!

Much luck confronting her. Will look for an update later...

[Still_Tbog]

While you may feel you have a right to the $ back, I doubt you would get it.

I had a dcp who made my ds's ( 6 and 2 at the time )sit outside on an uncovered deck when it was over 100 degrees out to eat lunch. Her reasoning was that my other ds (2) made too much of a mess. My older ds was pretty sick from the heat by the time I picked him up.

On the same day, younger ds had never been changed out of his pull up. He was potty training and between home and her house, he wet his pants. I should have changed it myself when I got there but I was seriously late for work. I told her that he needed it changed and she said no problem. I found out later that she told ds to change it and he wouldnt do it, so she made him stay in it.

Of course I pulled them that day after resisting the urge to go beat the crap out of her. She still was able to sue me and get the $ since the contract stated I must give two weeks notice. You would think the judge would have noticed a pattern when she had FIVE other cases just like mine pending.

[FrznPolarAngel]

Checking in for an update.

[sweetkisses]

Sorry, to keep you ladies hanging so long. It has been a long evening.

After work, I went to the dc and told her I was there to pick up dd's stuff and said that she would not be coming back. She said, "okay." Then as she was walking into the house she asked why. I told her I had found out she was talking about us to our new dc and that I was upset about it and I thought she had completely crossed the line.

At that point she got pissed off and stormed into the house, saying that was ridiculous and that she had never spoken badly of us. So I asked her when she had spoken to the new dc and she said last week. I said, so you haven't spoken with them today? I think she said no first but then said yes. So I asked what was said and she yelled at me and said it was none of my business. I said is was my business if she was speaking about me. Then she yelled, "I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN, I HAVE NOT SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT YOU. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD THINK THAT!"

She also said she felt sorry for dd, since I was just pulling her out like that and she seemed upset that she didn't really get to say good bye to her. I told her that she (DCP) just was not the same person she was when dd first started going there.

Other things were said, but that was the basis of our conversation. I was proud of myself for remaining calm, even though she yelled at me several times. I'm just glad this is behind us and I hope dd adjusts well to the new dc. She has a friend that already goes there so that will help.

Oh, and I didn't even ask about getting any money back. I doubt I would have been given a refund, so I didn't want to waste my time.

We met with the new dcp this evening and of course she received yet another phone call from crazy dcp asking her if she was talking bad about her!

[SingingMom]

Yikes!

DCPs should understand that parents have a right to be concerned about anything that goes on. The menu, the activities, safety, anything should be up for discussion. Also, parents have a right to visit any time without giving advance notice- for just this reason.

I'd be extremely wary of a provider who didn't like unannounced visits. And yes, leaving twelve toddlers with one adult isn't okay anywhere.

[KaraJ]

I'm sorry she went ape on you! :(

[FrznPolarAngel]

I kinda figured she would go over the top but glad you were able to remain calm and do what you needed. With her behavior picking up your daughters things, I would hate to see how she would react for some money back. EEK.

I feel bad that your new dcp is going to have to deal with the old one's shit for awhile. I've never disclosed where my child is going regardless of my relationship with the current dcp.

[Teresa64]

For the record I am a Home DCP. I had a 14 month old just start on Friday. EVERYDAY the mom has asked me exactly what her son ate and how much. I told her today I would start writing it down for her everyday. I would never be offended if a mom asks what her child did at my house.

[Teresa64]

And it is the law that DCP have to have an open door policy to parents. All the time.

[sweetkisses]

I feel bad that your new dcp is going to have to deal with the old one's shit for awhile. I've never disclosed where my child is going regardless of my relationship with the current dcp.

Had I known all this would have happened I would have never told her. Valuable lesson learned.

[BoobySnacks]

What a psycho! I would be tempted to warn the other parents about her outbursts and aggressive behavior.

[FrznPolarAngel]

What a psycho! I would be tempted to warn the other parents about her outbursts and aggressive behavior.

This is why I think it is important to report her. If anyone should call her for a reference (which I doubt) then you can be honest.

As tempted as it would be I would NOT talk smack about her. Don't stoop down to her level. She may be crazy enough to file charges or whatnot.

[JenniferH]

I would definitely make a complaint to licensing about the confidentiality issues and ask about the 12 children left with one provider.

[BeachMama]

I would let it go.

[Leigh-Anne]

Yikes, I am pretty freaked out by your dcp's. We have pretty strict regulations over here. I can't believe you could have one person looking after 12 toddlers! How dangerous. Our home daycare providers are limited to five kids, and something like only one can be a baby. I don't get how it can be called home daycare if there are 12 kids, that is a daycare centre.

[Indigo]

Holy cow, Mel. I didn't think this story would get more interesting since last week...

I would be tempted to confront her about her phone call, at the very least.


She sounds unstable. If this is new behavior for her and she is acting erractically I would go pick up your child now. If she is angry with you, and she obviously is, do you really want her in care of your baby? I would let the money go and cut my losses, I'd be afraid that she would totally loose it over that amount of days would not be worth the hassle.

[Teresa64]

Yikes, I am pretty freaked out by your dcp's. We have pretty strict regulations over here. I can't believe you could have one person looking after 12 toddlers! How dangerous. Our home daycare providers are limited to five kids, and something like only one can be a baby. I don't get how it can be called home daycare if there are 12 kids, that is a daycare centre.


A group liscensed home daycare can hire staff and have that many kids.

[sweetkisses]

Yikes, I am pretty freaked out by your dcp's. We have pretty strict regulations over here. I can't believe you could have one person looking after 12 toddlers! How dangerous. Our home daycare providers are limited to five kids, and something like only one can be a baby. I don't get how it can be called home daycare if there are 12 kids, that is a daycare centre.

It is a liscensed home day care and she can have up to 12 kids. She is suppose to have 2 employees there at all times. (It also depends on the age of the children.)

12:1 ratio is not within regulations here. If she did in fact leave the other day and leave those children with the one employee then she was breaking those regulations.

[HammBugga]

What a psycho. I definitely think you need to report her for having 12 toddlers and one employee. I know that is illegal.

[whitnessforhim]

Wow I'm sorry you had to deal with something like that! I would probably think about reporting her too.

I hope everything goes well with the new DCP!

[Macabe]

Getting back to the OP, which I just read, since she told you to find another daycare, you should get a refund for the unused days.