what's "normal" for 6 mo olds?

[Traci]

I'm getting it from everyone:

"So . . . now that she's 6 mo old she must be sleeping through the night finally, right?"

Yeah right! Not even close! My DD goes to bed at 7 pm and wakes at 11, 2, and 5 to eat. She falls right back asleep after each feeding. She gets up for the day around 7 am.

I don't really mind too much, but I'm getting pressure to start sleep training. I'd love to, but I'm not sure if I should. She's in the lower weight percentiles (but has held steady in her weight bracket). She eats well for these night feedings, so to cut them would mean a HUGE drop in calories.

One night last week, when totally exhausted, I did attempt to skip one of the feedings. When she woke up, I responded, but did not feed her. 45 minutes later she was STILL crying. I gave up and fed her and she went right to sleep.

Mom and sis say I should let her CIO. But neither of them were breastfeeding at this age . . . maybe bf babies just can't get enough in one feeding to go all night?

What was/is your experience?

[madelsmama]

MOST babies do not sleep through the night until much later. My second baby, for example was close to 10 months old before she EVER slept throught the night. Closer to 12 months before it was consistent.

I don't get why so many people like to talk about whether one's baby sleeps through the night. Why is it their problem? It's your child, and you are meeting her needs by responding her to in the night. Sleep training programs and ridiculous and allowing a child to cry it out is completely cruel. Yes, your child will stop waking and crying at night in response to the techniques, but it is only b/c the child learns that "mommy isn't going to respond to my cries".

Your child is completely normal. Completely. Some babies require being "parented" to sleep when they wake at night, and that's perfectly fine. Babies aren't born knowing how to do many things. She'll definitely learn!

Follow your instincts, not what others tell you. :) You sound like a wonderul momma!

[sweetkisses]

Let me start by saying my dd is 2 1/2 and does not always sleep through the night. There is not a normal for any baby at any age. They are all so different. Also what a baby is eating will not determine if they will sleep through the night.

Please don't let anyone guilt you into sleep training. I personally hate sleeping training and think it is so ridiculous. Sorry, I'm trying not to get on my soapbox here! I just don't think it is beneficial at all to babies. Babies still need there mommy or daddy at night. If you gut is telling you not to do it then I say don't. :D

[Jacksmommy]

At 6 months my baby still woke twice a night to nurse. I would never recommend CIO. It's really unhealthy for babies - physically and emotionally. Best thing to do is respond to your baby's needs quickly. The sooner she is fed and happy, the sooner you both can go back to sleep.

[whitnessforhim]

This is EXACTLY how my DD was and still is at 11mo. She "sleeps" all night (9pm-7am) but wakes for feedings. She nurses on average 4-5 times a night.

I agree with the others. Your baby is completely normal. If she is waking to nurse in the middle of the night it is because that is exactly what she needs and you are right to respond to her needs.

I agree follow your gut momma! You know what is best for your baby and we're here to support you in saying that crying it out IS NOT best for your baby! Hold her, nurse her and nuture that baby because that is what a mommy is here to do.

[rrodemaker]

I agree with all the others to follow your gut, but you must do that, not what everyone else is saying. Not even the very well intentioned women on this board. If your gut tells you to try a sleep program, then try it. I also don't believe in CIO, but if you believe it would be beneficial in your situation, then you do what feels right. If you think you'd like to try a sleep program that doesn't require CIO, may I suggest Elizabeth Pantley's book The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I read it and liked it. I wish you the best, and for what it's worth, I think you're doing exactly the right thing. Just love your little one and the rest will fall into place. I know it's hard to be tired, but trust me when I say that someday you'll wish they'd wake in the middle of the night to cuddle!!

[RKeith]

I have a so that is just like u describe, Traci. I also have a daughter whom is quite a blessing at night. She'll sleep around eight hours so that I can focus on her brother more. My kids are a little over 3 months old.

[hilmom]

co-sleeping helps for frequent night nursers - also maybe 7 pm is a little early? I tend to let my four month old have a early evening nap and then feed him and keep him up until 9:30 or so. it gives me a bit more sleep before he wakes up for a feeding. good luck -

[ima062002]

Some bf babies sleep through the night early on. Some don't. Same goes for ff babies. Letting a baby cry for more time than it takes to respond is putting stress on that baby. The heart rate goes up and that is NOT good for anybody. The reason why we don't like to hear babies cry is built into us so that we RESPOND.

If you want my advice, next time someone asks you if your baby sleeps through the night say "she sleeps like a baby" and smile.

I am always curious how people know that their babies sleep through the night if they let them CIO. They are not there to see. Babies who CIO learn that when they call nobody comes. So they stop calling. Doesn't mean that they sleep through the night. Just means that they learned a sad lesson.

[ima062002]

Oh and I wanted to add that after three kids, ranging from 6 to 2 I've learned that even long sleepers (don't want to use the word good, they are all good babies :)) stop doing that because of meeting major milestones, or teething or night terrors/mares and a slew of other things. I whole-heartedly believe that we need to respond. That is our job. And I am not saying that it's not frustrating at times and that we are going to be able to respond lovingly every time - but that's hopefully when a partner can step up to the plate and give us a break. But bottom line, you are doing the right thing by tending to your child's needs. It is NOT spoiling. Spoiling is buying that toy/candy/watch more TV etc. because they whine or throw a fit...

[pumpkinhead7]

My oldest started sleep through the night at 3.5. I weaned him at a year. My youngest is 2.5 and isn't sleeping all the way through yet. I don't think it has anything to do with what or how much you feed them. I say do whatever gets you the most sleep. If she wasn't truly hungry and didn't need to nurse then she'd fall back to sleep when you soothed her in other ways. Obviously, she still needs it. Do what feels right for you.

[Shaunsmom]

Yes, I agree with Pumpkin...do what works for you and your baby.

I do not believe in letting a child (regardless of age) CIO. No way. Not healthy for me or my child.

I do not sleep train my children either. When they are/were infants, I let them go to sleep when I went to sleep. Our son was (and still is at 7 years old) a GREAT sleeper.

We'd go to bed around 10-ish...sleep all night until 6am. Get up in the morning, nurse, and he'd go back to bed with DH at 8am. (At that time, DH worked 3rd shift and we had no daycare.) Our son could literally sleep until at least 1pm. What an awesome sleeper!!!!

Co-sleeping works great for us. It may not work for someone else but that's someone else, not me:)

Let us know what you tried and how things are working out. Sounds like you a terrific mama.

[The_Market]

Please read these articles, and feel free to share them with your family!
Harvard Article (http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html)
and
Studies on Normal Infant Sleep (http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html)

[jodibug]

There is no good reason to ever let a baby CIO.

My DD is seven months old.

We cosleep and we go to bed around 8 or 9pm. My alarm is set for 5am. During the time that we are in bed together DD will "sleep-nurse" usually three times. She isn't really awake, but she starts nudging me and rooting around. I help her get latched on and go right back to sleep.

I get up when my alarm goes off and let her sleep until 6:30 or so and then it is time to get her dressed and ready to go to the sitter.

[Traci]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement! I am SO glad I found this board! (Thanks to one of your members who is a member of another board I frequent)

I've decided that a slow encouragement to change her routine is what she needs. I think what's happening is that she is so busy and distracted during the day that she really only eats as much as she has to. She nurses frequently, but for very short periods. At night she's not distracted by everything around her and in her half asleep state she gets down to business and eats. She's still a fast nurser. Only 2-3 minutes each side.

So what I've decided to do is to encourage shorter feedings at night to hopefully get her interested in consuming more during the day. I'm doing this by ending the feeding the minute she seems content.

Last night was our first try. She woke at all the normal times, but instead of feeding both sides, I only fed one side at each feeding. It was enough to send her peacefully back to sleep and today I'll do my best to load her up on calories.

I'll let you know what happens over the course of the next few days.