I need to vent about my son..not sure how much more I can take.

[Tweet]

This isn't really a looking for advice thread..it's more of just venting so I don't spank his butt thread.

This kid is driving me nuts. He's 4, will be 5 in March. I've posted before about his emotional stuff . When he's REALLY angry or frustrated, he throws whatever is in his path. He doesn't care if it hits anyone. Hell, he's gone out of his way TO hit someone with some random object. We've done everything you can think of and probably stuff you wouldn't think of to help this kid out so that he can get SOME control of his emotions.

I'm sick of it. Just.sick.of.fucking.it. I'm tired of being on my toes to try to anticipate what's going to set him off. I'm tired of the house being torn apart. I'm tired of him acting out so , so angrily. I'm tired of him NOT getting it when we do so much to help him with his emotions. I'm tired of all of the kids fighting about his outbursts. It is killing me to watch him go through it and it's scaring the shit out of me that he is going to end up being some kind of out of control maniac. I'm terrified. There, I said it. And it's the honest to gods truth.

He doesn't do this at school, just at home. Oh, no..he saves it ALL up for us. Aren't we just lucky to be on the receiving end? Ftr, yes, there are SOME SN issues at play here, but I do not believe for one second that it's all because of that. He also just simply hates not having his way and it really,really angers him. Any source of irritation quickly turns into out of control anger. I'm facing the fact that this is probably beyond normal, typical stuff and he's going to need another evaluation from a child psychologist.

I just am tired of having negative feelings about him. I just want to sit and cuddle and dammit, I'm pissed off that I can't have that with him very often. I understand completely the temptation to spank out of sheer anger and frustration. Believe me, most of the time I want to. And then I feel like shit for wanting to. I just want it to get better.

[alejorge]

(((hugs))) I am sorry you are going through this with your DS. I hope that it gets better for you and soon.

[Bohemian]

I'm sorry Tweet, that has to be incredibly hard. :hug:

[Tweet]

Than you. Yes, it's been very hard. His main teacher at the spec ed school thinks he does it only at home because he's comfortable to let loose around people that he knows well and that love him. Well, maybe. But it doesn't stop me from feeling like a huge,huge failure as a parent. It's very upsetting and depressing. It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from.

[Tweet]

Something else I'm worried about..well, two things, actually. One is the fear that we will be pushed to medicate him. I'm not sure that's the case , but would be willing to consider it. I'd be more happy with someone that could help US help him, if that makes sense.

The other thing is that I feel so bad that he's been through so much already. The child has had numerous surgeries, evaluations, therapists, etc etc. I can easily see that the more this goes on, the more he's going to think ill of himself . It starts becoming a huge thing to try to combat. I know he feels resentful that he's had so much to go through. I'm scared that taking him the psychologist is going to add even more stress and feelings of inadequacy. I feel really torn, but ultimately I know that we need help. Sometimes you have to know when to ask for it and when to say, "Ok, I can't handle this by myself anymore". Still, the fears are there.

[Sputterduck]

What are the consequences when he shows emotions in an inappropriate way?

[Meredith]

I'm sorry. Tweet. :hug: Have you ever tried/had any experience with diet modifications?

[Wolverine]

I'm so sorry. Sounds really tough.

[Tweet]

What are the consequences when he shows emotions in an inappropriate way?


It depends on what's happened. Suffice it to say the consequences are appropriate for whatever has happened. It's really neither here nor there, though. I don't believe the solution for this is in the consequences. If it were, he'd not continue it so frequently. The consequences don't mean too much because it's a processing issue. This has to do with him being able to process his emotions correctly. Some of it's due to age, but some of it is now clearly a problem beyond that.

[Tweet]

I'm sorry. Tweet. :hug: Have you ever tried/had any experience with diet modifications?


Yes, somewhat. We may need to get more serious with it and do a more detailed thing like the Feingold diet. I'm not sure.

[Bellaelle]

are you registered at ihmmb? pm lovemonkey for advice on the feingold diet. she swears by it.

have you heard of the total transformation program? i believe it is approved for kids as young as 5.

hang in there. you are a good mom. things will get better.

[JudyJudyJudy]

:hug:

[Tweet]

Bella, yes, I've heard of it, but don't know much about it. I do remember LM having her kiddo on the Feingold diet and that it worked really well for them. I might just pm her over there, thanks :)

[Bellaelle]

She can really give you great advice. I know she had a very hard time with her ds until she put him on the diet. I suggest speaking to her on the phone. She is a wealth of knowledge.

[nicurn]

(((Tweet)))

I've been through that, and had to get out of the house to avoid throttling my precious DS. I'm so sorry you are facing it right now. We found a psychologist who specialized in kids with our son's issues, and she was really able to help him learn to cope. It didn't "cure" him by any means, but it really took the edge off of his worst issues.

Also, we go out and have "Screw Holland" dinners...maybe you are due for one?

[cream_city]

I could have written so much of your post. It's so hard, when you're working so hard to try and do what you can and nothing seems to be helping. My son does some of his worst acting out at school, actually, which is difficult in a different way. Regardless, it hurts so much to worry about them, and then to worry that getting treatment/help could make things worse (there was a month where my son saw so many therapists, etc. I felt terrible).

I will say that (knock on wood) things seem to have settled down some with him now; we have a good therapist who's helping him (and helping us with discipline stuff), and he's used to going to OT now.

I know my mother laughs, but we eliminated (mostly) food dyes from his diet, and my husband and I both think it helps. Not entirely -- but it seems to curb the most impulsive, out-of-control tantrums.

Hang in there. You're doing everything you can for him.

[Tweet]

Thanks, everyone..your words and just listening really help me.

I did speak with the preschool teacher at his spec ed preschool ( he also goes to a NT preschool). She specializes in behavior issues for kids with SN. She still feels that is mostly quite normal and that the parts that aren't so normal are the result of his slight delay in processing/planning. She said this will affect ( effect?) a child's behavior and that maybe first we should try some extra OT, really focusing on the input he receives. This makes sense and I can't believe I hadn't thought of it. In fact, I'd let up on it since his sensory seeking behavior has improved.

I still think I should try the diet stuff in addition to the more intense OT stuff. I'm going to push for more OT at school, too. (god help me) If it doesn't lessen or gets worse, then I will definitely get the referral for the psychologist. So, please wish us luck! I may need to keep venting to keep my sanity. I'm also considering taking myself back to therapy because it's taken it's toll. I hadn't realized how I'd been holding a lot of this until recently.

[Bellaelle]

I think you are on the right course. It will get better!

[TuetonicWillow]

I hope it all works out. Hang in there. =D

[Tweet]

I also did want to say I'm sorry for all of you going through something similar. It's very difficult to have that type of heartache and frustration . You guys hang in there, too :)