I have a question **Sensitive~death**

[nicurn]

If the unthinkable happened and you were to lose a child at delivery, would it bother you or comfort you if the nurses were crying?

[_Viva_]

I don't know that anything could *comfort* me at that moment, but I would not be bothered by the nurses crying. As a nurse, I know that I have cried many times at work in death situations.

[Teresa64]

I doubt I would notice. But if I did it wouldn't bother me.

[babymakes4]

i don't think anything would comfort me...Its hard to answer this question because I am so close to my due date. I think losing a child at or before birth is a mothers worst nightmare. If the nurses cried I would be ok with it, infact it would probably give me some comfort to know that they care.... I wouldn't make a deal out of it and it certainly wouldn't bother me.

[Wildflower]

I think I'd be such a mess that I would be very closed off from the world. I would be angry at the world and while their tears would make me feel better than if they were acting unmoved or if they walked into my room laughing and chatting with another nurse or something like that, I wouldn't want them too comforting 'in my face' with tears or not, because I'd want to be left alone. I'm not a touchy-feely griever at ALL - in fact I've often thought that if I lost a child I wouldn't even want a funeral because I wouldn't want ANYONE near me (I know that sounds/is very selfish) - but I don't really KNOW how I'd feel, just guessing, and this is the most awful thing that could happen to a person :(

[vulturemom]

I don't know that comfort would be the right word. I think it would be more like my pain was validated and my loss was being acknowledged by them.

[Bohemian]

Nothing could bring me comfort but a nurse crying would be better than a nurse not crying. If she was crying, I would know that on some level she was grasping the unimaginable loss and pain I was going through. I know that nurses that don't show emotion would also grasp this but honestly it's just one of those things where if someone is physically showing their emotions I would feel more empathized with.

I would love to be a nurse or a veterinarian but I could never handle the bad stuff, I would cry every single time someone else cried. Even if it wasn't especially traumatic, someone else crying turns on my tears. Case in point, someone was going door to door and we got to talking and then she started to say something about what her grandfather had told her and she got overcome with emotion and was fighting tears, I didn't even know what the heck she was about to say but her emotional state got me crying.

[PiccoloRose]

I would in no way at all be bothered by it. I'm not sure if I would even notice, truthfully.

However, I think that later, after I had some time to heal a little, that it would feel nice looking back, knowing that somebody who didn't even know us cared enogh to mourn our loss as well, if only a little.

[Hennyetta]

I think I would be comforted, but I don't think it would bother me if they didn't cry. As long as they weren't laughing and joking around me it would be ok.

[TuetonicWillow]

I was oblivious to the medical staff, to be honest. I had tunnel vision for a couple of days. I don't even recall what the nurses looked like or anything. I don't even know if they were visibly upset. I do know that I was helped a good deal the following day by a very compassionate but also very stoic staff shrink.

Most people I know who have suffered the death of a child, myself included, aren't really concerned at all what's going on around them, be it in a hospital room or anywhere else. Nurses play a great role in this kind of event but in all honesty, they're bystanders. They're not even there at the moment in the eyes of the parents.

If I were a nurse and I were witness to this, I would draw on my personal experience and remain professional. I would be compassionate but not shed tears in front of the parents. I would be strong so that they don 't have to.

Just my 2 cents as someone who's been there and done that.

[PSMommy]

I am not sure how I would be feeling in that moment, if I would notice or not, but I can say now Yes I would want them to cry.

Showing emotion would help you connect with the nurse(s) it would show that they really cared for you and your child, it would show that you child touched somones life, even for a breif second, you know they will carry them around in their heart forever. I would want (need) them to cry.

[Still_Tbog]

I would in no way at all be bothered by it. I'm not sure if I would even notice, truthfully.

However, I think that later, after I had some time to heal a little, that it would feel nice looking back, knowing that somebody who didn't even know us cared enogh to mourn our loss as well, if only a little.

This. When my brother and his wife lost their son a few hours after birth almost 19 years ago, we saw tears in the doctor's eyes, and then the nurse's when his last breath came and they had to tell the family he was gone. That same doctor had tears in his eyes when after seeing my SIL have two losses, was there to deliver my son, and finally be able to see our family have a happy delivery.

Remembering the compassion of the doctor and nurse that were there with us that day is something my brother has talked about when he remembers, so I know it made a difference to him.

[Bohemian]

I am not sure how I would be feeling in that moment, if I would notice or not, but I can say now Yes I would want them to cry.

Showing emotion would help you connect with the nurse(s) it would show that they really cared for you and your child, it would show that you child touched somones life, even for a breif second, you know they will carry them around in their heart forever. I would want (need) them to cry.

I agree with you. This is not about an infant but when my mom was hospitalized for the last time and she had only days, there were several times I saw the nurses tear up when us kids were visiting and there is one nurse that was especially good to my mom. She was in and out of the hospital quite a few times the last couple years of her illness and this one nurse was one that became friends with my mom and would cheer her up and make her laugh and do nice out of the norm things for her.

She made such a difference in my mom's life and ultimately in mine. She cried openly in those last days for my mom. It's not something that had a lot of impact on me at the time but something that I treasure now. There has been many times I've wanted to try and contact and thank her for her compassion and friendship to my mom.

[The_Market]

Why do you ask, NICURN?

[Meredith]

I don't know that comfort would be the right word. I think it would be more like my pain was validated and my loss was being acknowledged by them.

This exactly.

[Tiffearni]

IF by chance I noticed, I don't think I'd think much of it at the time because NOTHING would make me feel better at THAT moment. BUT, maybe if I thought about it later on, I would probably be touched that a nurse would weap for my loss.

[pawprint]

It would not bother me. I think it would be a good thing,.

[Lumi]

I did not lose at delivery but I much prefered the nurses that showed emotion then the one that didn't. When I went back for my 4 week check up the nurse who wasn't there for the delivery but was my nurse for 8 months prior she cried with us. She had lost her daughter to stillbirth at 40 weeks 15 years ago.

[Babyblue]

i am crying right now just reading this.