In need of bf love and support

[Lumatiza]

So we made it to the one year mark and breastfeeding is so easy and natural that I have no intention of stopping now! But what I hadn't bargained on is all the negative attention it brings now that it's been 13 months. I've been told that my milk is no longer nutritious, that it's unhealthy for me because it leeches the calcium out of my bones, and that my daughter will never want to stop now. My pediatrician told me at the one year appointment that I need to be giving my daughter 20 oz. of non-breast milk a day and if she still bf it's a "bonus." My mother-in-law insists that I should give my daughter milk mixed with corn starch in it to make my daughter sleep through the night (she wakes to bf every morning at 4am, which I don't mind). I didn't realize how much it would impact me but it's getting me down especially since my daughter has been "low weight" (15-20% for weight, 65-70% in height) for months. What is your opinion?

[trylyn5]

My opinion is that your daughter is fine, your ped is ignorant when it comes to breastfeeding, and your mil is an idiot ;). Okay not really on the last one but seriously, don't put corn starch in her milk :).

My dd is 9 months and is also 20% weight and 65% height and just follows a long skinny curve. My guess is your dd is the same. It's no else's business if you continue to breastfeed and continues to be healthy for you and your baby. She'll stop when she's ready or with a little encouragement from you when you're ready.

[Mocosita]

I would merely remind them that World Health Organization recommends bf for two years. I've been bf ds for almost 16 months, and people keep bugging me about weaning... but I tell them (in a joking manner) that he will definately be weaned before heading to kindergarden. Then I list famous people like Michael Jordan who was bf for 5 years....

if they still bug me I just say, my boobs my business. As far as MIL, if she asks how the baby is sleeping, just say fine and don't give many details that would open the door to push for weaning.

[Stephanie]

Your body, your daughter, your decision.

Breastmilk continues to offer tons of benefits! The immune system is not fully developed at this point, so it helps there. It still is a completely source of nutrition, if she is a picky eater. My dd was pretty much exclusively breast fed well past 1 year, and was completely healthy. Cows milk is not necessary at all at this point. She is getting everything she needs from you, she does not need milk for baby cows to help out.

As for her weight, she sounds fine. Not everyone is going to be in the 95%th percentile. Some children are chunky, some are petite, some are average, and all are perfect. Genetics plays a big role in baby size.

I would also just answer your mother-in-law with she is sleeping just fine. It is really none of her business. She isn't the one getting up with her, so it has absolutely nothing to do with her.

Hopefully madelsmama will chime in. She is a wealth of information on extended nursing.

[madelsmama]

Well, thankyaverymuch! Let me see what I can find...

Breastmilk richer in fat, energy after first year"
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/116/3/e432

Quote:
Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation; they are directed against pathogens encountered in the environment that are common to both the mother and infant (see box above) (Goldman and Goldblum, 1989b).

There are specific concentration levels of Immunologic factors by stage of lactation (including 2 years) in Table 6-5 on the same link.

http://books.nap.edu/openbook.php?re...=1577&page=134

and here:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

In summary, your pedi is wrong (as many are WRT this topic). When our first pediatrician dealt me that same info that you were given, it was our last visit with her. The documentation just doesn't support that opinion.

Oh, and neither of my kids have ever had much cow milk--maybe a taste or two. We don't completely avoid dairy, but it's not a staple in their diets. Breastmilk has a higher fat content than cow, by the way. As long as your child is nursing 3-4 times a day, there is no need for additional milk or (or the equivalent nutrients from other foods).
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html

Hope that helps!

[lolabear]

my dd was small and still is and she is 17 months old and eats everything in sight, so it had nothing to do with the bm lol i think youre doing a wonderful thing! i also think most peds are not up to date on bf-ing info, my dd1 got thrush and i was bfing and they told me i could not get it. boy was i shocked when my nipples started cracking and bleeding! my mil is also very oppinionated and i also dont really listen to her. they tend to have a lot of things they used to in the "old days" that we know now you dont need to do. my ds wakes up to eat in the night and they think there is something wrong with him and i should igonore him and hell stop. if he wakes up obviously he is hungry and there is nothing wrong with that. lastly, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one!

[whitnessforhim]

Cheryl posted some excellent links. I agree don't stop what you are doing. We're working on our 13th month of BF and no plans on stopping no matter what anyone else thinks. You knows best for that baby and human breast milk is best not cow breast milk.

Congrats to making it this far! What a fantastic job!

[SingingMom]

Aside from the many and real physical benefits of breastfeeding past the first twelve months, there are also the fuzzier benefits. It's a tremendous help in soothing a tired, sick, or hurt baby. It helps me be a calmer, more patient mother. It puts little snuggle breaks in your day, which keeps you reconnecting to each other all the time.

It is NOT unhealthy for you, and does NOT leach the calcium from your bones. If there is a concern about your calcium intake, well, for pete's sake, take a supplement. Those calcium chews are kind of tasty, anyway.

"Your daughter will never want to stop now" is not a reason to wean before she is ready. Maybe she doesn't want to stop because it's what she needs... My almost four year old weaned himself very easily when he was ready.

[Bumpy]

I am working on over a year now, she just turned one last week. She is 20% for her height and 5% for her weight. I don't plan on weaning her until she is ready. They kept pushing formula, but i told them that they need to take a look at her mother. (I am 5'3" and have always been on the thin side of life.) Anyway, The less bm she eats the less weight she gains. So I started a different routine so that I had a more milk when I got home to feed her, and voila, she started gaining weight. She started losing weight recently(I feel because at daycare they give her to many solids so she doesn't want her milk.

[Bumpy]

Sorry, I am at work, so I can finish my post, lol

She lost weight because of an ear infection, but She has slowed down on the weight gain considerably. The more solids that she eats, it seems the less weight she gains. but that in itself is not surprising because the more I eat the more weight i lose, and the less I eat the more weight I put on, It gets my metabalism going pretty fast. So in other words, she need her mommy's milk

[ima062002]

To the pedi: hmmm, can you back up your comments by current research, coz the WHO says something else...

To MIL - can you tell me how corn starch and the milk of another species is better than what I can provide? Or - oh, well, we all have our own ideas on how to best raise our kids, or - interesting... can I get you anything, cookies, coffee?

So your dd is long and lean, like a model or something :)? Just imagine if the stats were reversed, 15-20% for height and 65-70% in weight...

If it makes you feel better - my dd just turned TWO (yay) and she is finally back around the 5th percentile. She is happy, smart, healthy, strong (all muscles and determination lol) and yes, not plump. Doesn't bother her though :). She still nurses but was too busy to eat much for a long time. Now she is packing it on. Not corn starch mind you. Or bovine milk. Just food. And plenty of breast milk still. At least 4-5 times a day (once or twice at night)

[colleen0419]

Sending my love, hugs and support you way!! I am EBF my almost 8 month old, and it is the best thing I have even done!! I have gotten many "how long are you going to breastfeed?" comments from my very large VERY nosey family!! I just ignore them mostly and lean on my super supportive DH. Keep repeating this to yourself.....I WILL WEAN WHEN SHE IS READY AND NOT A MINUTE BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[lbahlstrand]

My almost 11 month old is almost 5 percentile in weight and about 60-70 in height. I worried sooooooooooooo much, just because my son was 75 percentile in weight and 50 in height. They are just different. They drink the same milk and (not same amount :-)) But I finally accepted that it is in her genes (1/2 Japanese and mommy in the thin side). My son is now 4 and he is not fat anymore. Both very active and happy and healthy. Just remember YOU ARE SO LUCKY to be able to breastfeed. Don't forget that. I wish my daughter would nurse. I did not recover from a nursing strike. I still will give her EBM. I think is better for her. I miss nursing and I won't be able to do it anymore.

[MadisonsMommy]

Maddie is 16 months and we are still breastfeeding. She is a skinny little girl and is always around 20% for her weight but she is very healthy and her pedi and I are not worried one bit. She also eats very healthy and organic. She is a skinny little girl but she constantly eats. I would not listen to your mil and I would get a new pedi if it bothers you.

[Lumatiza]

Thank you all for your wonderful advice and support. I feel a lot better about breastfeeding and I'm tired of worrying about my daughter's weight. Actually I should say that my mother in law's comment was to help me not have to get up at night. She is not worried about my daughter's weight and tells me not to either. We're still going strong and we'll continue until my dd decides it's time. Thanks again.

[Nipple_nectar]

I commend you on nursing this long, I know that it is generally not socially acceptable past the age of one. I am nursing a 22 month old and wouldn't even risk the staring and ugly looks that one can run into by NIP, it's just not worth the energy needed to try and explain.

But I agree with everyone that it is the best thing for your DD and congrats on your success!