OT - Am I keeping DD in a bubble?

[whitnessforhim]

This is what my mom said to me because I didn't want her to come stay with us while she's sick..

DD just turned a year and she has yet to be sick (cold, flu, anything). She goes every where with us so I don't think I keep her in a bubble. However, I am cautious about things. DH and I maintain a very healthy diet as to keep our immune system healthy so we don't bring anything home. We are blessed to have daddy home with her most days but even then she is watched by a lady out of her home and she's the only baby there. And of course the fact that she's BF helps tons.

My mom lives out of state and planned on staying with us for several weeks. She was sick a week or so go and caught something else and is now sick again. She has a horrible cough, hacking up lots of nasty flem (TMI sorry)...I didn't even want to ask what color. She says its just a cold and she's not contagious and therefore doesn't think its necessary to go to the Dr. I told her until I know she's not contagious I didn't want her staying in my house. Thats when she told me that I can't keep DD in a bubble.

WDYT? Am I being way over protective here?

[blessedbythree]

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask your mom to see a doctor to make sure she is not contagious before coming into your home. I wouldn't bother to get into a disagreement with her regarding whether or not you keep your dd in a bubble as it will probably get nowhere. I would just tell her that while you may be overprotective (and for the record I do not think you are), you would just feel so much better if she would see a doctor before coming over.

If she is still resistant you can try to explain to her that what might not be a serious illness for an adult can be dangerous to a young child/infant and it's not a risk you are willing to take. If she goes to the doctor and it truly is the common cold you will need to evaluate the risk/benefit of having grandma stay with you. I would tend to feel that if it is simply a cold and grandma is coming from out of town that staying with you would not be a horrible thing. I'm assuming that your mom would wash her hands often and leave the room if coughing/sneezing.

Listen to the mommy voice inside you and trust the insticts God gave you. Only you and your dh can make this decision for your family.

[ima062002]

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask sick people to stay away. THere is a huge difference between the flu or a cold however. So, I wouldn't consider something with a cold to be sick and would welcome my parents if they had a sniffly nose or a sore throat. But if they had someone that required bedrest (something with a fever) like the flu I'd ask them to stay away. The flu can seriously impact someone's health and can cause people who don't have an immune system that works at full capacity die (like the young, the sick, the old).

That said, your dd's immune system will only be strong if it is exposed to germs. That's how it's build up. Diet etc. does have an influence but the way it works is that germs attack it, the system kicks into gear to produce antibodies and these stay with you to keep you healthy if that bug comes around again.

Read here for more: http://nobelprize.org/educational_games/medicine/immunity/immune-overview.html

[Jacksmommy]

Most people I know will voluntarily stay away from others when sick. It's the polite thing to do.
I don't think you're overprotective.

[whitnessforhim]

Most people I know will voluntarily stay away from others when sick. It's the polite thing to do.
I don't think you're overprotective.


I know but my mom is of a different feather...its hard to explain.

If she'd go to the dr. I'd feel better about things. I appreciate everyones input and perspective.

[Nipple_nectar]

I think your mom is being quite inconsiderate. She would be exposing your baby to whatever germ she has and I have a rule at my house, if you are exhibiting any symptoms of sickness, you are not welcomed here, until you are well.

That is not living in a bubble, it is being sensible and responsible for your child's best interest.

[Jmom1010]

I disagree, although I would not expose anyone to the flu or anything bad, your immune system needs to fight illness to get strong. Keeping DD cold free now will make for misery once she is in school, she'll catch everything. Out of consideration for other people I will tell people when I am sick and leave it up to them if they want me around. I also decide based on what they have if I want DS around him. He goes to daycare so he is exposed to everything anyway so I really don't get too hyped up about it.

[SingingMom]

What is this belief that she is coughing but not contagious? How does THAT work?

Many illnesses are far more serious in little ones than they are in adults. For example, pertussis presents as a bad cold in adults. For little ones, pertussis can be a life threatening illness.

I, too, believe that an immune system becomes stronger with exposure to illness. I would not, however, expose a child this young to illness on purpose to build her immunity. With my own kids, I have seen how much more effective their bodies are at fighting illness after they hit about age 5. So, personally, I would not expose a kid younger than 5 to a bunch of illnesses in the hope that she would be illness-free later.

Even going to the doctor to "be sure that she is not contagious" is not likely to work. The doctor's role is to help your mom treat her own illness, not keep your little one from being exposed to illness. If your mom is a normally healthy adult, the doctor is not likely to be able to tell if she is carrying an illness that is dangerous for your baby.

Keeping an illness out of your house isn't the same thing as keeping your baby in a bubble. That is the reaction of a woman who doesn't want to change her plans.

[whitnessforhim]

That said, your dd's immune system will only be strong if it is exposed to germs. That's how it's build up. Diet etc. does have an influence but the way it works is that germs attack it, the system kicks into gear to produce antibodies and these stay with you to keep you healthy if that bug comes around again.

Read here for more: http://nobelprize.org/educational_games/medicine/immunity/immune-overview.html

Thx ima...you are right I've thought about this...and my mom did bring up this point.

I know DD gets exposed to plenty of germs when venturing outside of the house. Heck I work at a college where I see tons of people a day and DH is a sub. teacher who is around middle schoolers all day. So I'm positive the expsure DD has to germs is already sufficiant to build her immune system. But bringing a sick person into our living quarters (who is possibly very contagious) crosses the line for me. I don't see exposing her for the purpose of building her immune system a good enough arguement for me...Being sick is miserable, taking care of someone sick is miserable. I don't have the time to take off of work or the money to spend if going to the Dr. is needed.

[SingingMom]

Being sick is miserable, taking care of someone sick is miserable. I don't have the time to take off of work or the money to spend if going to the Dr. is needed.


That is the end argument for me. A SAHM who is homeschooling four children, if someone gets sick I have a tough time. I can't be up all night taking care of sick children and then turn around and keep it all going during the day. And paying a babysitter so I can take a sick kid to the doctor really eats in to the budget. Especially when I know I'll be bringing in the other four when they catch it.

My mom is good about rescheduling her visits when she's sick. I Just Don't Have Time for serious sicknesses!

[whitnessforhim]

What is this belief that she is coughing but not contagious? How does THAT work?

Many illnesses are far more serious in little ones than they are in adults. For example, pertussis presents as a bad cold in adults. For little ones, pertussis can be a life threatening illness

This was the first thing that popped into my mind when my mom and I were discussing this issue. DD has yet to be vaccinated and pertussis is the first thing I thought about when I heard her cough.

I, too, believe that an immune system becomes stronger with exposure to illness. I would not, however, expose a child this young to illness on purpose to build her immunity. With my own kids, I have seen how much more effective their bodies are at fighting illness after they hit about age 5. So, personally, I would not expose a kid younger than 5 to a bunch of illnesses in the hope that she would be illness-free later.

You said it better than I did. This is how I think about it too.

Even going to the doctor to "be sure that she is not contagious" is not likely to work. The doctor's role is to help your mom treat her own illness, not keep your little one from being exposed to illness. If your mom is a normally healthy adult, the doctor is not likely to be able to tell if she is carrying an illness that is dangerous for your baby.

Good point...


Keeping an illness out of your house isn't the same thing as keeping your baby in a bubble. That is the reaction of a woman who doesn't want to change her plans.

This is what I think too...I'll just let you write my responses :)