What the holidays mean

[JustMoi]

I'm a member of another parenting board specifically geared toward single parents and non-custodial parents.

One of the women talked about how she felt awful with the holidays approaching. Her parents don't care if she's around, her kids don't care if she's around, and neither do her siblings. I told her if she lives in the same state I do, she's welcome to join my family for Thanksgiving dinner.

I firmly believe that NOBODY should be alone for the holidays unless they truly WANT to be. Although DH and I don't have many traditions yet because we're newlyweds, I do think that it's important. Yeah, we don't have much ... especially now, since I lost my job last week. But we have enough to offer a sad stranger a meal.

What do you do during the holidays that makes you appreciate them more?

[Sputterduck]

I think that's really great of you. The pastor at the little church I went to here said yesterday that anyone without plans is wanted at his house, especially single parents. I was moved by that.

I hate feeling like an outcast at churches for not having the perfect family because I'm a single mom.

[TuetonicWillow]

I think you're kind but insane.

[Sputterduck]

I think you're kind but insane.


Some would have said the same thing about Jesus.

[TuetonicWillow]

Yes, I would have been one of them.


Inviting strangers to your home, sight unseen, is a generous and kind thing to do. The intentions are admirable. But I think it's nuts. Absolutely crazy.

[Babyblue]

total strangers, hell no. all friends family and aquaintences are welcome at my house.

[JustMoi]

This is someone I've posted on a message board with for years... so although there IS risk, it's not as if she's a complete stranger. Granted, she could be pulling a KB, but I'd prefer to give her the benefit of the doubt. If she showed up and was a fake, I'd only be out a plate of dinner and a few illusions.

[Babyhellfire]

That's really sweet.
My parents always invited people that were alone over for thanksgiving... or even Christmas dinner.
After the lunch at grams house(thanksgiving- or xmas eve at grams) with all my cousins, we would come home and set out a huge buffet-and sit around snacking and chatting with whoever popped in for dinner.
My aunt, a friend of dads who had his daughters on thanksgiving,neighbors,second cousins- anyone who mom or dad had heard would be alone.
Really good holiday memories :)

[HummingBird]

I think you're kind but insane.


Agreed, but again I think you're very kind to offer. My last assistant was in a similar situation around the holidays. I took her my turkey we got at work b/c the rule was you had to be there for a year to 'earn' your turkey I hated that rule. When I dropped it off at her apartment she cried and hugged me so hard I thought I was going to break. Her daughter was so mean to her, her ex-husband had abused her and she looked a lot like my mom so I had a soft spot for her. I used to have dh go over to her place to help move furniture and fix things too.

[rock__]

I'm a little insane myself. So I enjoy seeing it in others. :)

[Earthmama]

I think what you're doing is wonderful!

[haleysmom]

What's the difference between her inviting someone over for dinner or going to a gtg? She posts on a message board with this person. There's people here I would invite over for dinner and I've never met them. I don't see it as insane. She's not planning on meeting them alone in a dark alley.

[TuetonicWillow]

What's the difference between her inviting someone over for dinner or going to a gtg? She posts on a message board with this person. There's people here I would invite over for dinner and I've never met them. I don't see it as insane. She's not planning on meeting them alone in a dark alley.


I would never go to someone's home if I had no real idea who they were so there is minimal difference, if you ask me.

Most crimes don't happen in dark alleys, just so you know.

[Babyhellfire]

I would never go to someone's home if I had no real idea who they were so there is minimal difference, if you ask me.

Most crimes don't happen in dark alleys, just so you know.

I don't think it is that "insane". I have met people from the internet. From this message board.
I stayed the night at their home, I have had them come to my home.Went on rides in their cars..Years of chatting with them, phone conversations and shared stories is a little different in MOST cases than a complete stranger...
and hell, even complete strangers have popped over to my house before.
Should I hide from the nice JW man who brings me watchtowers? ...well i will admit hiding from the salemen.
...I dunno I just don't get it.
She isn't inviting someone she doesn't know anything about over -when she is home alone. She is inviting a close internet friend over for dinner with her whole family.

[Tweet]

I am super leary anymore so it would not be for me, I don't think. I think I'd prefer to at least meet a person in a nice big , open public place first, but that is just me. That's very nice of you, Justmoi.

I guess I don't put much importance in holidays anymore, though. I enjoy doing it for the kids and that's the extent of it, pretty much. I like to give all year around and celebrate what I'm thankful more than just one day a year. It sounds cheesy, but it's the truth lol.

[Sunnie]

Yes, I would have been one of them.


Inviting strangers to your home, sight unseen, is a generous and kind thing to do. The intentions are admirable. But I think it's nuts. Absolutely crazy.

Heh. May I remind you of Easter 2003 when you had me and Jeff over to your house when we'd only met a month before for an hour or so? LOL

[TuetonicWillow]

Remind me all you want.

I wouldn't do it again. Not after 101 stories all over the net about people not being at all who they say they are.

[Miamimama]

JustMoi, I think that is wonderful. Your tradition can be inviting people over :)

[vulturemom]

I grew up in a university town and we used to have people that we had never met that couldn't get home for Thanksgiving or Christmas over for dinner all the time. I don't know about them but, I enjoyed it. I learned a lot about other cultures and their holidays and family traditions.

[Ilovemonkeys]

About 8 years ago we were driving to our family thanksgiving and there was a guy standing on the off ramp with a sign asking for money or food or something and he looked pretty rough.
I really wanted to stop but our car was full and I had little kids with me so I wasn't going to pick up a random stranger.

But I felt so bad that we went into a warm place with enough food to feed 100 people.
He could have been scam artist or a serial killer or he could have just been a hungry, homeless man.

After we ate I drove back up to the exit, I wanted to give him some food, but he was gone.

I think about that guy all the time.

I also feel bad that I feel like I can't help any stranger ever without risking my life.

[still_me]

I think it is nice. I would want to meet someone before I let them know where I live though.



I appreciate the holidays because we are all together. I get to sleep under the same roof with my 3 sisters. That means the world to me. It helps that all the BIL's get along really well and all the kids play together. Family is super important to us.

[JustMoi]

Well.. if I were alone, I probably would have second thoughts about it. But DH will be here, AND my sons - all of whom are over 6' tall and over 200 lbs each. I doubt anything bad will happen.... and she gets to spend a holiday with people who care that she doesn't feel alone.