? for those who have had mutiple misscarriages

[boonda]

I've been getting my cards ready for Christmas and there is a young couple that I send a card too that has had at least 3 misscarriages that they know of. She says there have probably been more. They've been trying for at least 3 years.

I was thinking of writing on the inside "to R, B and your many angels" I guess to let them know that someone else thinks of them too.

My question is would you be offended or bothered if someone were to to this for you? I personally wouldn't. (I've had 2 misscarriages myself)

[PSMommy]

I have had three m/c and I would be incredably touched if someone wrote that to me.

Just the fact that they remembered, to know that the babies life is not forgotten by others would mean so much to me.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I think it would be sweet.

[TuetonicWillow]

I've had 8.

I would find it odd. I don't think I'd like it much. I wouldn't be offended but I would be put off, to be quite honest.

[Earthmama]

TW, weren't you also the person who wouldn't feel comfortable with a memorial gift for a lost pregnancy?

That might be a barometer of the difference between comfort levels. If the couple has a memorial of some sort (I had a friend who used to wear her late fetus's ashes in a pretty container on a chain around her neck.) then they may be more open to the idea than someone who doesn't take comfort in those things.

[TuetonicWillow]

I don't recall anything about a memorial gift. I may have said I had mixed feelings on it. It would reallt depend. I can see some circumstances being meaningfull and touching and others might make me feel weird



Gray area...all of it. But I don't really think I'd be happy to read the xmas cards as written above.

That's me. It's my 2cents.

[rock__]

It sounds like something that would be very personal. I think a lot of people would be touched. I would leave out the word many though, and just say angels.

I had a friend who had 8 miscarriages, and everyone was dear to her. She wanted to make a necklace or bracelet with all of their birthstones on them. Who am I to judge what others find comfort in?

[FrznPolarAngel]

I don't really qualify since I have only had one, but I wouldn't care for it. I'm not a mushy person or easily offended but this is not something that would not sit well with me.

[PiccoloRose]

I've had 3 m/c. I wouldn't put the word "many", but I think the thought is nice.

[Rieckah]

I agree with leaving the "many" off, but I would ber very touched.

[KerryS]

I would find it odd. I don't think I'd like it much. I wouldn't be offended but I would be put off, to be quite honest.

I've only had two, but this would be my reaction as well.

[Babyblue]

I would not, particulary if she may have just experenced another that you dont know about yet. it would realy sting.

[KatieLou]

I agree with leaving the "many" off, but I would ber very touched.


this. But I think it really depends on the person. It would upset some, but comfort others.

[KerryS]

this. But I think it really depends on the person. It would upset some, but comfort others.

And since you probably don't know which type this couple is, I think it's better to err on the side of caution and not mention it.

[kohlby]

I don't know how I'd feel. I don't know if I'd be touched or feel it was odd. It probably depends on the day. I've had 5 miscarriages.

[Jacksmommy]

I wouldn't like it. I don't sign my cards by adding "and many angels". I wouldn't want a card addressed to me to include that. When I write to others I don't include their dearly departed family members either. I think your intent is sweet, but like I said, I wouldn't like it.

[rock__]

And since you probably don't know which type this couple is, I think it's better to err on the side of caution and not mention it.

I tend to agree with this. While there is a small chance it may make the person feel warm, if there is any chance it could put a damper on their holiday or cause them to feel uncomfortable in any way, I think it may be best to avoid it.

It looks like a fair number of people here would not appreciate the gesture, so it would be probably best to not tack on the last bit.

[Givebac]

It would bother me and I know it would bother my husband.

[KatieLou]

I do want to add that I think it is sweet that you are thinking of her though. Maybe just sending good thoughts her way and prayers (if you are the praying type) is enough, and she never has to know.

(((hug)))

[TuetonicWillow]

Years ago, one of my aunts made a habit out of sending me a sympathy card on the anniversary of my first child's birth/death. I asked her not to send any more after a few years. It was like picking at a scab for me. Other might prefer something like that but I don't think it's wise to assume it's what anyone might want.