WWYD? Birthday party dilema....

[3girls2luv]

Well dd3 will be 2 on Jan. 2nd and DN 3 will be 5 on Christmas Day. My bro and SIL struggle financaily so SIL and I had discussed having dd's and DN's bday party together on New Year's eve at thier house since they live out in the country and we would have a firework show for them and cake and food etc... So we agreed and she started buying things for the party.

Well here is the dilema.... She has now turned this into a big party and wants to rent a hall or have it at a park in the dead of winter when the weather is so unpredictable. She has a friend that has a moon walk and she wants me to pay for the pony rides. She is getting the moon walk for free and I HAVE TO PAY for the pony rides. I want to back out of it but I don't know how to tell her. I really wanted the firework thing for dd and we live in the city and if we rent a hall or have it at a park we can not have the fireworks display. This was supposed to be a small party and I agreed to help so they won't take a huge financial hit during these hard times. WWYD?

[KerryS]

Honestly, I would tell her that you suggested doing it together to cut costs, and it's not in your budget to do something other than a family party at home, as originally planned. And I would back out and let her plan her own party.

[QuiltyConscience]

Her wanting you to pay for pony rides that she decided on does not mean you HAVE TO PAY for it.

Sounds like she got carried away with the planning. I think it's okay to tell her weren't really planning on a huge deal, and don't want to spend that much. Go ahead and do it now before she hires the circus. These things get out of hand quickly.

You simply tell her, " I'd rather keep it simple like we planned in the first place and do the fireworks at your house".

I had a similar situation with a relative over a Family celebration. I planned a simple dinner party with a relative, agrred to split the costs, and relative decided that it needed to be much bigger, wanted to rent a church hall, invite 50 more people, hire a caterer, make a special DVD and show it at the party, and I just said no, I can't do all that.

She was mad, but scaled back down. She got over it.

[3girls2luv]

My mom agrees that I should back out because she does not see it as fair since I will not be inviting that many guests and I would be paying for half of everthing and only getting about an eighth out of it.

[Tiffearni]

I would back out of it also.

[Justicedog]

I'd tell her as quickly as possible that you'd agreed to combine the parties when it was a home party, less expensive with fireworks. (although, fireworks are rather expensive). Your dd is too young to be outside in the possible cold for an outside party at a park where they couldn't get indoors and that you'd rather just do as planned (the moon bounce could be set up at her house possibly) or she can do that and you can have your own on a different date at your house.

Of course, you could always write your congressman and ask them to finance the ponyrides.

[3girls2luv]

Hmmm write my congressman, I will keep that in mind ;)

DH said that it would be nice to go to visit his side of the family in Eagle Pass and have a small party there so dd can meet her cousins from over there since they were not able to come to her last party. We would have a small family gathering at my house for cake and punch for my family here as well.

I just do not want my SIL to get her panties in a wad but I just do not want to make a huge party. Besides we really do not know enough people with small kids so it would be mostly teens and adults on my side of the family and they are too big for the pony rides.

[Justicedog]

I think the best thing is to tell her as soon as possible so that she can stop making these caviar plans on a beer budget, thinking that you're going to fund it (or part of it).

[3girls2luv]

Yes I am going to call her tonight. If my bro gets upset with me I am going to go off on him since I am feeding and putting a roof over his son's head without a single dime from him. My bro can be an ass but I am pretty tired of his sh##$%$% already.

[3girls2luv]

Well I told her and it did not go well. She said that I was the one who had wanted the "big" party with the fire works in the first place. I told her that she must have misunderstood because I wanted to give the kids a big firework show at their party and that I said nothing about a big party. She said "well if you want to back out then back out but J is gonna be 5 and he deserves a big party" I said maybe we can have a small party for them another time and she said "I'm not having anymore party's its too much hassel."

Thennnnn..... she said "I heard you gave R a lap top for christmas...." R is her son that is now living with me. I said yes it was one of our old ones that DH fixed up for him and we gave it to him with all the new updates. She said "well I guess he is being spoiled too." She and my bro have always said that we spoil our girls. I just figured she was upset at me over the party and wanted to take a cheap shot at me. She will just have to get over it.

[Justicedog]

Sorry it didn't go well.

[3girls2luv]

Sorry she is immature. Get her a coupon for a pony ride for Christmas.


Lol. I was planning on sending her a family pic of us with her DS in it since she told me when he left that it would be easier for them now that they have one less mouth to feed.

[SueDid]

Lol. I was planning on sending her a family pic of us with her DS in it since she told me when he left that it would be easier for them now that they have one less mouth to feed.

Make it a picture with your kids on ponies and you've got something there *snort*

[HammBugga]

Why is her son with you now? It sounds like she is resentful at that.

[KaraJ]

I don't really see why people make kids birthday parties such HUGE affairs. Saying that, I think fireworks are appropriate for EVERY occasion. ;)

[RaisingThemLeft]

She sounds very immature and like she is pissed that she isn't getting to take advantage of you.