Ok its sh!*@ like this that pisses me off!

[3girls2luv]

I just got a call from a rental store that told me that my lovely neighbor has used me as a reference to purchase some furniture!!!! I said no sir I did not give them permission to use my name as a reference. WTF, is this normal? Would you put someone down as a reference without asking them first? I can see using me as a refernce for a job or something but not rent furniture. What if she does not pay on time won't they start calling me about it? Am I over reacting here?

[MoonBound]

I'd be pissed too! This sounds very weird to me.

[KatieLou]

We had a neighbor who used to be a friend of DH back in the day. he was a lot of trouble. He had no phone so when he rented, applied, or did basically anything he would give them OUR phone #. Used to make me so stinkin' mad. We would get his collection calls and everything.

He was a lot of trouble otherwise also, but i will spare you.

I would not put someone down as a reference without talking to them about it first.

[cream_city]

I don't know your history with your neighbor. But do you not feel like you can give them a good reference? It's not like you're responsible if they don't pay. You aren't cosigning or anything. All you need to say is something like, yes, they seem like responsible people.

I've had people use me as references when they're trying to rent apartments before. Sometimes they have a chance to tell me before I've been called; sometimes if the landlord (store in this case) calls really quickly, they may not have had a chance.

Unless you are on bad terms with them, I don't see it as being that odd.

It's actually weird to me that a furniture store is asking for references -- a sign of the economic times I guess.

[Joyto5]

It's normal. Normal to be ticked off as well as having them put you down as a refrence.

What really ticks me off is when people sign up for some product and are told "If you give us X many of your friends and familys names, and X# sign up for our program, you'll get yada FREE!" UGH!!!

[KerryS]

I don't know your history with your neighbor. But do you not feel like you can give them a good reference? It's not like you're responsible if they don't pay. You aren't cosigning or anything. All you need to say is something like, yes, they seem like responsible people.


I agree with Cream City. I don't understand why it's something you'd get pissed about.

Yes, you are way overreacting. You would not be responsible for their debt. They're looking for a reference, not a cosigner.

[Bohemian]

If someone knew me well enough that they used me as a reference for a job, I wouldn't be upset if they used me as a reference for something else, even if furniture is a bit strange. I don't think I'd be upset though even if they didn't know me well. I'd just assume that they didn't have anyone else to put. I'd just be honest and say, yeah they are my neighbor but I don't know them very well and I'm not sure why they used me.

eta: I agree with Cream City too.

[Givebac]

They probably didn't know they needed references when they went to the store. I know I didn't when we went to see about renting something. I didn't really want the rental place calling people though so we just left.That and I couldn't justify renting something at their prices.

[KatieLou]

I would not be so upset about the reference, although I would still ask first myself, BUT what might come afterwards. Phone calls to you or something from the company, etc.

[Justicedog]

I'm with Cream City and Kerry. I don't think it's anything to get ticked over, unless you all are enemies. In fact, for furniture, neighbors would be a good one - do they have wild parties and bounce on the sofa?

[CatSoup]

Hmm I've but down people as references at jobs before with out asking first. I figure they can just say yes or no. They just want to know if your neighbor is reputable or not, and from the answer you gave they will assume "not".

[cc1003]

If I recall correctly, her neighbor is a bit sketchy. Isn't this the one who has problems with CPS etc?

I may be mixing people up here but if that is the case it would irritate me just to have to be involved with them period.

[KerryS]

But she said she wouldn't mind if they put her down for an employment reference. I don't understand what the difference would be.

[Bohemian]

If they are the CPS ones, then I'd say they know each other well enough to put down as a reference. Those are the kids that she watches and helps out with the lice and what not, no?

[cc1003]

What if she does not pay on time won't they start calling me about it?

This is the part I'd be concerned about. If it were a job she wouldn't be held responsible for anything but as far as I know, if her neighbor doesn't pay, they will call her about it. And that's annoying.

[cc1003]

If they are the CPS ones, then I'd say they know each other well enough to put down as a reference. Those are the kids that she watches and helps out with the lice and what not, no?

This just made me laugh out loud. Yes, that's is who I'm thinking of.

I must be understanding it differently though. They way I understand it is if the neighbor doesn't pay, they contact 3girls in order to find said neighbor or whatever.

[KerryS]

So she says "Don't know where they are. Don't call me again." End of story. She would not be responsible for their debt.

[Bohemian]

Well if things go to collection, they may call a neighbor anyway. When we were living in an apartment, we had a collector calling us to inquire about a neighbor. She was so rude when I said I didn't know them and that made me mad. Hello, I lived in a big complex and had 12 sets of neighbors just in our building and there were 20 buildings!

[Earthmama]

When we were asked for references for renting our washer & dryer a few years back, we were totally surprised. Didn't expect it.

They said just put down a neighbor or someone. I can't remember if we called first to make sure it was okay.

References are not held accountable if someone doesn't pay their bill at a rental place. The delivery guys go knock on the renter's door - we had it happen a few times. They never spoke to our neighbors.

If you fail to show up at work, your boss doesn't call your references and ask where you are.

[3girls2luv]

Yes this is the neighbor that does know me and I know her which is why I do not want to be put down as a reference. They do not have wild parties but they don't keep their kids clean so I doubt they would take care of a piece of furniture very well. I know I would not be held resposible for the bill but yes they would call me and that would be annoying. I help her dds out and care very much for them but that is as far as it goes.

[KerryS]

Okay. But I guess I don't understand why you would get so pissed off that they would put you down as a reference.

[cc1003]

Yes this is the neighbor that does know me and I know her which is why I do not want to be put down as a reference. They do not have wild parties but they don't keep their kids clean so I doubt they would take care of a piece of furniture very well. I know I would not be held resposible for the bill but yes they would call me and that would be annoying. I help her dds out and care very much for them but that is as far as it goes.


I understand, that would annoy me too.

[cream_city]

This is the part I'd be concerned about. If it were a job she wouldn't be held responsible for anything but as far as I know, if her neighbor doesn't pay, they will call her about it. And that's annoying.

I don't think they'd call. If they did, she could just tell them to not call again. She's not in any way responsible.

[cream_city]

If you don't think they're responsible, I'd just say that they live next door but you don't know them well enough to say anything beyond that.

I still don't think they'd call you.

[cc1003]

I don't think they'd call. If they did, she could just tell them to not call again. She's not in any way responsible.


If they weren't going to call, why would they ask for a phone number/reference?

[3girls2luv]

I do what I do ONLY for the little girls, I do not consider her my friend. I try to avoid her like the plague but she can't see me outside or on the road or she has to call me. I don't like to socialize with her for many reasons (one is because she always wants to talk about sex and her DH's penis) the other reason is because she is always up in my koolaid...lol. She wants to know everything about my life and wants to tell my everything about hers.

[3girls2luv]

If they weren't going to call, why would they ask for a phone number/reference?


Yes and they did call so it just makes me think that they don't have a problem calling again kwim. Maybe he got a bad vibe and decided to check the references IDK.

[Bohemian]

Yes this is the neighbor that does know me and I know her which is why I do not want to be put down as a reference. They do not have wild parties but they don't keep their kids clean so I doubt they would take care of a piece of furniture very well. I know I would not be held resposible for the bill but yes they would call me and that would be annoying. I help her dds out and care very much for them but that is as far as it goes.


Then she does know you and I don't understand being upset. Just because she put you as a reference doesn't mean you have any obligations to her or the furniture company. Just be honest and be done with it. It's a character reference, it's not like you're going to get called daily or have to deal with them if she defaults.

[3girls2luv]

Well I don't have anything positive to say about her character.

[Bohemian]

That's okay, if you don't think she deserves a good reference, then you shouldn't give one.

[3girls2luv]

I hate to be ugly but I just don't feel right about this. This girl and her DH just rub me the wrong way.

[3girls2luv]

Okay this just took turn for the worst. I called my neighbor and asked her if she used my name as a reference and she said no. I actually believe her because she sounded as suprised as I did. She said they were no where near a furniture rental place.

[Teresa64]

uhhhh...that is weird. Maybe her dh did and she doesn'tknow yet?

[3girls2luv]

Her Dh is at work because she told me that she just got up because she worked grave yard and her DH has been at work all day. She is going to ask her MIL when she get home though.

[KatieLou]

strange...

[3girls2luv]

Yes it is strange. What is even stranger (if that is even a word) is that who ever did this knew my first name and my cell number.

[TayNRobbiesMom]

My husband works for easyhome (canadas largest rent to own store) and we personally have rented from Rent a center.

They WILL call you if shes late (RAC was a day late and calling refs) DH says here at easyhome is about 2 weeks delinquent and they start calling...

[vulturemom]

I wouldn't put anyone down as a reference for anything without talking to them first. I want them to be prepared so they don't hmmm and hawww and have to think too hard about what to say.

[Indigo]

I agree with Cream City. I don't understand why it's something you'd get pissed about.

Yes, you are way overreacting. You would not be responsible for their debt. They're looking for a reference, not a cosigner.

Yup this, exactly.

[Indigo]

This is the part I'd be concerned about. If it were a job she wouldn't be held responsible for anything but as far as I know, if her neighbor doesn't pay, they will call her about it. And that's annoying.

Why would they call her if they don't pay? That makes no sense she is a reference not a co-signer.

[still_me]

Why would they call her if they don't pay? That makes no sense she is a reference not a co-signer.


Then what is the point of a reference? I don't expect you to answer Indigo. I'm just throwing that out there.


OP, I would be a bit annoyed since I firmly believe in asking permission from someone to use them as a reference for anything. I'm betting that she put you down because she thinks your relationship is better than it really is. I'd tell her that you don't do references and that if they call you won't be giving them one.

[3girls2luv]

Well she called me this morning and told me that it was her MIL and FIL trying to get a dinning room table under her DH's name and apparently she was not aware of it either and her DH had it out with his mom lastnight about it. Her MIL said that I was a shitty neighbor for not being a reference for them. Oh well I really could give a shit how her MIL feels about me since I really do not like her very much either. This is crap if you ask me. She uses her son's name without consulting him and then tries to use me as reference and then gets mad when I say no.

[vulturemom]

Well I am glad that it was caught before she had the table. If I were them I would put an alert on the SS# of dh, her, and her kids to prevent this from happening again.

[3girls2luv]

Yeah that is a good idea. She told me that her and her DH are planning on getting a house come next year and she is afraid that her MIL is trying to screw up their credit so they can't get the house. If that is true then she makes my ex MIL look like a saint.

[dalurker]

They WILL call you if shes late (RAC was a day late and calling refs) DH says here at easyhome is about 2 weeks delinquent and they start calling...

Oh my, yes. I've had several businesses over the years, RAC being one of them, pester me and get downright ugly with me when I wouldn't give up (or didn't know) information on people who supposedly listed me as a reference. Several have been by a friend with a history of not paying her bills that I downright demand now that she never put my name on anything ever again and some were by casual acquaintances I barely knew who had given my name and number. I use a cell phone as my home and my business number (which I think makes it easy for people to use my number) and it's annoying as crap to be constantly harrassed by some bill collector looking for someone else. There have been furniture rental companies, car loan companies, personal loan companies and credit card companies. Some of them-- actually, most of them I've encountered are pretty damn aggressive and it ends up taking a lot more than a polite "don't call me again" to get rid of them. It's illegal to do that, but I continue to be amazed at how often it happens. Sure, I'm not responsible for the debt, but holy shit is that annoying.

I'll admit to getting irked now if I find someone has listed me as a personal reference for anything that will require money collection.

[vulturemom]

I can't recall ever being asked for a personal reference for any thing but a job. I am surprised that they would ask for a personal reference for financing. Having friends doesn't mean that you can pay them back.

[3girls2luv]

I once had a freind use my name as a reference for a student loan and then she disappeared off the face of the earth with some guy she met on line so they called me and sent me letters. I took the letters to her mom and gave them her mom's number. I was contacted by her several years later but I never brought it up about the loan.

I think there is a reason why they ask for refereces and I guess if they don't get their money they will call someone.