sleeping issues

[bedeilly]

I have a friend whose DS is 13 months old and still gets up in the middle of the night to nurse - somewhere between 4:00 and 4:30. After nursing, DS will start to cry again - wail, really - after 15 min in his crib, so back to the parents' bed he goes. They're really trying to break both the habit of still waking to nurse, and of having to bring him back to the bed to get back to sleep. Any suggestions? (Sorry, I know it's lame to do this for someone else, but she's so sleep-deprived and upset about the whole thing that i just offered to do this for her.) Thanks everyone!

[Lorraine76]

This is a tough one...I'm actually attending a sleep seminar on Saturday so I may have some more useful tips for your friend then.

I guess that if your friend's instincts are telling her that her son's extreme crying mean that he needs to be with her then she's doing the right thing by bringing him into their bed. But there does come a point where lack of sleep can interfere with being able to get through the day and having the patience to cope with an active toddler.

Apparently (and know this is the opposite of what people expect) but sometimes toddlers are wakeful because they aren't getting enough sleep in the day. Could this be the case?

You mentioned he is waking to nurse...can she feed him prior to the time he would normally wake. So if he is waking at 4am, can she go in and feed him at say 3.45? If she doesn't talk to him or stimulate him in anyway, keeping the room dark, he may feed without even waking and then just continue to sleep at the time that he would normally wake. I know it sounds crazy but lots of mums have found that this works, it may take a few days to see any change but it may be worth trying before going down the controlled crying route.

I went through a similar thing with both my boys at various stages and they actually didn't sleep through the night until they were about 2 years old. The worse part is that if he is waking at 4am it may not be worth trying controlled crying as it may take him a couple of hours to get back to sleep...so I guess it depends on what time she needs to get up in the morning.

I used to sit at my son's door and sing to him or talk to him softly until he settled down. And if he was really bad I'd go in and pat him for a few seconds and then come back out. She may like to try going in at intervals to pat him and reassure him (without picking him up) so say at 3 minutes, and then gradually increasing it to 7 minutes and so on. It can be heartbreaking to hear your little one cry for you but if she is at the point where she needs this to stop, then this is certainly one way to do it.

It can take a week or so of doing this consistently before it works, and there are many arguments for and against it but with whatever technique she chooses consistency is the key. If I learn anything on Saturday which I think will help Ill let you know.

Lorraine
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"Spend some time with me and discover the essence of breastfeeding"
http://www.the-essence-of-breastfeeding.com

[KerrySmithIBCLC]

I would suggest she check out the book "Good Nights" by Dr. Jay Gordon.