Stuff you want to remember when you are a grandma

[QuiltyConscience]

Some of these threads posted lately have made me decide to start a list.

A reminder list to myself of things not to forget when my children are grown and have children.


1. Be flexible on Holidays. The kids want to have Christmas a week early or in January? Not a problem. Grandma Santa can come anytime.

2. It's not your business. Whatever it is it isn't your business. Your kids will figure it out. You are done raising them now.

3. ...

what else should I put on this list? what would you put on yours?

[Sputterduck]

"do not exasperate your children" Part of Colossians 3:21. The Bible has an answer for everything.

[QuiltyConscience]

That's a good one to remember..

[NewMum]

My grandkids are not my kids. I will let my kids make the decisions when it comes to raising them.

[Monkeytoes]

I will treat my SIL or DIL how I would want to be treated.

[Tweet]

Monkeytits said it for me. That's a big one.

Don't go expecting my kids to choose to visit me for every holiday. Realize there are other important people in their lives .

[JudyJudyJudy]

I won't speak in a language that my dil (or step-dil) doesn't understand while making it obvious that I'm talking about her. (Quilty, that could include sign language.)

[Monkeytoes]

Oh here is a big one for me. I will treat all my grandkids the same.

My MIL and very own grandpa had favorites and made it very none.

[QuiltyConscience]

I won't speak in a language that my dil (or step-dil) doesn't understand while making it obvious that I'm talking about her. (Quilty, that could include sign language.)

lol, good point.

[KatieLou]

I will remember that I once was a DIL, and learn from my MIL's...mistakes. (if you can call them that)
And YES i will treat all my grnadchildren the same too.

[vulturemom]

Unless it is dangerous or they ask I will hold my tongue.

[Givebac]

Ask what the grandkids want for Christmas.

If you have to be over night guests when you visit, occasionally stay in a hotel..esp during holidays or if your son/daughter lives in a 2 bedroom one bath apartment with 3 kids. Three extra adults suck.

Don't call on Thursday and tell DIL you're coming up Friday night for the weekend.

Sick grandkids does not mean automatic doctor visit. Don't bug the DIL about it.

[MiMi_of_4]

These are all great suggestions.

A couple more ~ I don't believe a mom/mil should never give advice or express an opinion; therefore, I do give unsolicited advice occasionally. However, I respect my daughter's decision whether or not to accept it. Our relationship has not always been a bed of roses (we have a great relationship now, though), but mutual respect for each other's opinions has paved the way for us to be able to agree to disagree (and this is one of the major factors that has enabled us to have a great relationship).

As in any relationship you wish to nurture, you have to remember negative comments may come back and bite you in the ass. Complaints about spouses should be listened to, agreement can be expressed and sympathy can be offered, but be careful when the desire to "add fuel to fire" starts clicking in.

[Sashahomeschoolmama]

Call before you come over.

Knock before you walk in.

[Teresa64]

I second 3rd and 4th the no favorites. When my ds started noticing that his cousin was the favorite was when my relationship with my parents fell apart.

Don't automatically thing that everything your DIL does is to piss you off.

If you are watching your grandkids...especially the younger ones. Follow the parents schedule. Its ok to give treats but make sure meals and naps are at regular times.

I am sure I can think of more but that is all I have now.

[leosmommy]

Grandma does not need to come with gift in hand every single time she comes over. The kids love you and want to see you regardless, please do not overly spoil. A little spoiling is enough.

Please please when I tell you dss is now a size 10, don't assume that the "big size 8" you found will work just fine. If you do this your garmet will sit in the closet unworn because it DOESN'T FIT!!!

[still_me]

remember than your child is no longer a child and is one with their spouse.