3 year old with sudden clinginess and shyness.

[Whitney]

Aidan just turned 3 this month and has been having a hard time. This all started when my sister had her baby in October. He has always loved his aunt and uncle until the baby was born. I thought he was just thrown off because they had a baby and he would adjust with a little time. He is still having problems. When they come to visit, he runs and hides, cries for his daddy and stays upset until they leave.

He also cries if we try to leave him with his nanna or other family that he has not had trouble before. I do admit that we do run to rescue if he needs us. I try to be there rather than ignore him. Maybe I am wrong and making things worse. I just can't stand seeing him go through this. I don't know how to help him. He also just weaned from mommy because there was "blood" in his na-na (my colostrum came in). He also has went backwards on potty training. I'm trying to be patient with him and tell myself this is normal and it will pass.

We also have a new baby coming in February and I'm scared it will only get worse. Is there anything that I can do to help him? Am I wrong for comforting him or is it just feeding the problem? TIA

[lolabear]

i heard its not uncommon for kids to regress a little bit when a new baby comes. has he been around any other babies? sometimes being around a baby for the first time can be scary. my kids go to daycare so they are around babies all the time so i never had an issue with them when it was time for a new baby. i am sure there will be an adjustment period but just make sure to include him as much as possible and when its his sibling he will be able to be around the baby more and realize they are not scary they are just tiny little people. some kids are harder to warm up to a new baby than others but i am sure he will come around :)

[SingingMom]

It is normal and it will pass. If it gets worse, look for other things that might be driving his unhappiness. Is something really bothering him? The only way to know is to pay attention.

Comforting him isn't wrong and can't do him any harm.

A three year old really doesn't have the resources to comfort himself. Other people may tell you to stop comforting him, but other people say lots of silly things. Kids who are ALREADY used to different situations may not have these reactions, but that isn't your kid. Telling yourself, or your child, that he should be fine doesn't help either of you.

Tell yourself that your big boy will be back soon. Weaning can be stressful for a child. Weaning is probably more stressful right now than the fact that a baby is coming. Many three year old kiddos have no real concept of the future; a baby who isn't yet born often doesn't seem real to them.

I'd keep an eye on him and see if there is something else bothering him. Do his aunt and uncle treat him differently now?