I want to help a friend out

[Rizzae2]

but it's her life and I should butt out. Over the years she's became a drinker, gained TONS of weight from it. And everytime she goes out, she brings a guy home and.... well.. she's not the girl she used to be. I feel so bad for her. I wish I lived closer so I could be a good friend like she needs. I've got 2 friends that need me where I grew up. Both are heading down the wrong direction.

I want to be there for them. I don't know what to do about the first one. The 2nd one is just having a bad marriage and resorting to other things to take her pain away. The first one is single. I'm afraid she's going to get some sort of disease if she hasn't already.

I know I should just butt out, but it's hard to just sit aside and watch them go down like this. There is so much more to life. I've learned a lot over the last couple years. You CAN be happy. You just have to take some steps to get there.

Depression sux. I've been there to the point where I didn't think anyone could get me out. I didn't think I could get myself out. I was THIS close to ending it. It got THAT bad. I wish I could help others and let them know.. Your life CAN change. If you want it to.

[Earthmama]

:hug:

I don't have any real experience with helping someone through those situations - but you must remember that they can only change if and when they decide to - themselves. You can't learn their lessons for them.

You can continue being a great friend - offering your ear and your shoulder for anything that comes along. Express concern, but watch out for their desire to hide from their own mistakes to make you the bad-guy if you point out that which they ignore.

They may want life to change - but they may be completely lost on how to take that first step. Talking about how you overcame may help.

And then some people need tough love - tell her if you think it will save her, even if it may ruin the relationship.

I know I'm all over the place here, but you know these women best & you know what might be offensive to them and what might sink in.

Best of luck. You have a big heart.

[Rizzae2]

you got a pm :)

[Nipple_nectar]

Well, we have had alot of heart to hearts:) You are a good listener, offer your time and KNOW that she is hearing you, even if she acts indifferently.

I feel honored to be such a witness to you and your personal growth{{{hugs}}} You are an inspiration and a testament to sticking to what you believe in. Sometimes, all you need is a good ear.

Let's talk about you for a moment:) How are you doing? Managing the holidays?

[Bellaelle]

Hi Rae! i am so glad to see you are doing well.
As for your friends, I am sorry. I hope they can both get the help they need. All you can do is give them your best advice and hope they will listen.

[Rizzae2]

Well I'm doing alright. I was alone for the hollidays. I did get to see Brookie for an hour on Christmas. She had a couple parties to go to with her daddy. But she is with me from this wed night to sun night. I'm missing my fiance terribly. But I'm handling it well. Skype has been a wonderful thing. voice an vid chat. My overall appearance has changed. I dress more conservative.. well.. basically not just as much punky. I have normal hair hehe. I not longer feel as ugly as I use to think. He's brought up my spirits a ton!!!! It's a completely different relationship. I'm much stronger and everything.

Brookies getting big too. I work what feels like a ton.. But I work 9 hours mon thru thurs, then 4 hours fri. I still need to have a sleep study done. The only symptom I have of anything is I'm still tired. I think I'm sleeping well.. but I'm still tired, so I'm not getting enough of the deep rem. But Im thankfull for a job that doesnt care when you come in, as long as you get your 40. I try to get in there by 8am.

My ex and I get along. He knows I'm engaged. He doesn't seem to mind. heheh

[Nipple_nectar]

I am happy to see such a great update from you:) I had a christmas card here, with your name on it but I was going to PM you for a current address, will you share it by PM, when you get a moment?

[Bellaelle]

Rae, you are certainly doing very well! you were always a very beautiful girl; you just did not know it. (=

[Rizzae2]

thanks girls!!!! <3

mrs. R.. you will have a pm in a min