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View Full Version : Needing a pep talk...and ENing advice


TigerMom
01-05-2009, 10:04 AM
Hi Moms. I'm BFing my almost 4-y.o. son and my almost 3-week-old daughter. DD is adopted, so I'm trying to boost my meager bedtime/naptime nursing supply to meet her needs and juggle the emotional whirlwind of my DS, who is excited to share his ninichichi with Alma but also rails against his perception that "Alma doesn't share!" back with him and now it's "his turn".

The supply issues are improving. At the hospital, DD only took 6 mL right from the breast. At my first LC visit after returning home, she was up to 9 mL. At the second (half a week later), she was getting ~12 mL. That was a week ago and I'm sure she's up to half an ounce. But she's also taking 2.5 to 3.5 onces of supplement at a feeding! Here's what I'm doing:
* All of DD's supplement comes at the breast through an SNS, except for two middle of the night feedings. ("Middle of the night is for Bandaids," my LC said. Whatever keeps the overal DFing sustainable. But those are the only two bottle feedings.)
* I found a local milk donor who is helping with some supplementing, although DD still gets a lot of formula. ("It's not rat poison," said same wonderful LC.) I'm going to check out some milk sharing sites to see if I can bump up the amount of EBM supplement she gets. I've exhausted my own freezer stash.
* I pump after every nursing, except I sometimes drop one pumping when I nurse DS. There really IS a limit to how much nipple stimulation I can stand! I'm up from 1/4 ounce to a 1/2 ounce per pumping -- and slightly more if I pump far enough separate from a supplementer feeding. Yesterday, I managed to save up 3 ounces of EBM from all of my pumpings -- and it all went into this morning's feeding.
* I'm taking other steps to boost supply including eating lots of oatmeal, taking fenugreek and domperidone, and drinking lots of Mother's Milk tea. And trying not to stress about the supply issues.

My partner is incredibly supportive of my nursing relationship with DD -- and DS. She's doing everything possible to help me increase my supply, remain positive about everything I AM able to give, and remind me that I'm not a failure when I'm not able to provide everything DD needs from my own body. I just could use a little extra encouragement b/c it is really, really hard work.

I'm also having trouble figuring out the right balance with my son. In general, he's doing really well with the addition of DD, but it is still hard on him. Before DD's appearance, he was content to nurse only at bedtime, once during the night, and at wake-up (and we sometimes skipped that one). One weekends, we night add a naptime nursing, but that was it. Now he wants it whenever he sees me nurse DD. He's in daycare during weekdays, which helps with limit setting. It's hard to say no so much, but it's become painful to nurse him. My nipples are twice the size they were before DD and extremely sensitive. Choosing to nurse him often means choosing not to pump for that feeding b/c it's just too much. I'm a firm believer in child-led weaning, but...

That's the situation. Any advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

whitnessforhim
01-05-2009, 10:26 AM
I have little advice but lots of encouragement!! You sound like a fabulous mother and what an accomplishment to still be nursing your 4yr old!! I think within time your little man will get use to the idea of sharing. 3wks ago you were all his...its gonna take some time for him to get use to this new person in your guys life.

Hang in there momma!

kohlby
01-05-2009, 11:37 AM
One thing that helped with tandem nursing was to assign each child a breast. I had a talk with the older child about the baby needing "breastfeeds" more often since baby couldn't eat anything else. We then talked about all that baby couldn't eat that he could. I did let the baby have both sides, but she had to start on her side, which ensured that she got enough hind milk. Also, she often only needed one side - and eventually never asked for a second side at all. DS had his side and I told him that I'd always make sure there was something in his side - but there might be less sometimes since my breasts knew that he ate other foods as well. This explanation made sense to DS and worked well when his side had a low supply for whatever reason. Another technique that helps with an older nursling is to let him nurse but to put a limit on time. I'd do a 10 second countdown when I was ready for DS to get off. When DS got hurt and needed "emergency breastfeeds," I'd only nurse him for 10 second since that's all it took for comfort. DS was happy to know that he could have emergency breastfeeds whenever he really needed it even though it would be just for 10 seconds. (At set nursing times, he got more than 10 seconds).
*DD was born when DS was almost 3 years old. DS weaned a month shy of 5 years old.